maybe i shld give myself a break. which i got for free by being sick. maybe i shld give others a break? haha. then everyone will b happy. cos everyone had a break.

tell me, i love you, forever...

heh i've been hearing this all the time if i come home b4 7pm. heh. well, varies a little from the typical korean content. but storyline still sama sama.

but sometimes. why muz life b so hard. this type of show is both man and woman love each other one. as i like to sae, jtb.

but if things do take a change for better, then u shld sae wonderful.

after 1 day of chronic sickness, 2day much better. but still not 100%. nbccb.

Allow me to sae sum stuff.

if u study the whole day, 24/7 no breaks, it doesn't mean u're the best person, u're confirmed the best result, u'll be seen as the most noble person. it juz means u hav studied the whole day. it will not lead to u being the best student. another student may hav studied less and did sth else, like read up on a studying method or a take a break and do some sport, and get a better result and doesn't brag at all.

on the same note, it doesn't mean that if u attend church, every single meeting, help out everywhere, u are a better christian. it juz meant that u hav attended church and participated in every event u are able to go. it doesn't mean u're better than another christian who doesn't attend some church activities. maybe he has a stronger personal relationship wif god, while u're only trying to show off well i went millions of mission trip thus i'm better christian. truth is, the other guy may be the better christian. cos he's humble.

maybe i shldn't be bad. but this is truth. putting in effort in sth doesn't mean u're the best guy out there. it is the mindset. the way u do things affect the most. it will affect ur result. and result is wad ppl see. so to refine ur result, it has to come from refining mindset.

conclusion. man shldn't give up, ceteris paribus.
man shld go ahead wif their plans, ceteris paribus.
man shld watch out for themselves and others, ceteris paribus.

well anyways, seems like a fellow high-flying 2-handed bowler makes a good choice by playing such a 20 foul line 15 arrows line on a house oiling. cool man. it did reap divedends for me.

sometimes i wonder, is there a solution to every problem, a pardon for every crime and wrongdoing, a cure for every disease?

and between now and then till i see you again... see = probably sth than just physically looking.

anyway, man usually are not pist for a long time. but for a reason, this time, i may be relatively pist for relatively long time.

was bowling juz now as usual every monday nights. but difference is that i met an old man. hu claims to b someone, ok fine i believe. but why do many ppl hav this apprehension towards 2 handers? seriously. maybe u're juz jealous, ppl hu cheat and cheat but they freakin get their strikes and jerk their scores up, wif high standard deviation.

hey wait. isn't that the point? when u do practical bowling and not some start from young bowling, u nid to freakin jerk ur score up by million times within half a year. 1 year is too long my fren.... juz chiong it. u may not become as consistent as someone hu bowled for 20 years. but hu cares? u can shock ppl wif ur standard deviation. if on that day, u bowl every game in a 4 or 6 game series above 200 playing 10000000 lines.... even the commonwealth man can't do anyting to u.

sorry ppl. but i dun buy the argument that 2 hands is useless and the unorthodox way to bowl. do u sae the spinner is unorthodox, although it may put extra wrist strain? watch out. i'll do my best and train harder like some idiot for that consistency u want to see. and again. watch out. not out of ur window.

on a fairer note, this person did give us advice and pointers. and apparently... it's rather the same stuff that our fat coach tells us.... haha. maybe i shld b practicing stuff more consciously rather than tinking i'm some hell pro. conclusion. it's time to practise.

let's juz leave the post there... pls comment if u find it unfavourable and it will b removed immediately.

ppl hate the truth, thus i can't post that previous post alr..... HAHA. but it's ok. if u wan the full version.... u can find me....

i made some claims regarding standings of men and women. but... it's very extreme. so i can't post it. but as much as society wants to eradicate sexism, i feel that it's hard. sexism is bad cos it undermines women potential. but it is not fully lousy. sometimes, women may not b best in certain places and men are better. sometimes vice versa. a certain amount of such elitism shld b present in different direction for different jobs and roles.

but i feel sad for this world. why do ppl make knee jerk reactions when they see an unfavourable blog post? that's why i can't post this previous post.

ppl shld go and understand why they hav posted such a unpalatable post. ppl shldn't sae, o u freakin racist, u freakin sexist, u freakin elitist, time to go on to the press so that u can make a public apology, so u shall suffer humiliation. and thus i shld go push for some sort of a online etiquette.

sorry. i disagree that u shld make this person who has typed unpalatable stuff suffer humiliation. it's WRONG. unless this person has a screwed mindset. like rmb that girl from somewhere? heh. if this person has typed it out of anger, out of some reaction, it's juz like u hit ur child when u're angry, u kick a dustbin cos u buay song, u punch ur fren cos u fail ur test. and they din make u suffer public humiliation. tell me, can a dustbin bring u to court?? why shld u do this to a person flaming someone else online, unless this person has tinking problems?

1st, i muz apologise to ppl hu will feel offended by me typing this post. i'm gonna raise sth controversial, pls dun read the following if u dowan to. but i muz sae, i'm neither sexist nor feminist. and this is a very big and hasty generalisation.

------------------------------------------------------

as i was toking to one of my relatives juz now, he raised certain interesting, but controversial points. u c, they sae when ? is in a relationship b4, it has lowered ?'s value. in a sense. like e.g. if ? sex b4, u will not want ? as ur wife/husband or sth. so after ? has been in relationship, it show that ? has let down ?'s defences once. so, ?'s "value" has decreased. this will lead to ? becoming promiscuous, at least many a time, not all cases.

this relative also said, if + turn successful at 25-30 years old, + bound to attract millions of ?. but at 17-20 yr, if + succesful, no ? will like +. too smart alr. everyone hates + cos the ? are still competing wif +. but my relative claims there will be a time when ? will realise they oso nid a + to depend on and a + to provide for them, and the clever + will have ability provide for ?s.

but i hav certain reservations on this. nowadays, ? seem to hav turned more independent. "i no nid +", they claim, even at 30 years old. many claim they do not nid +. sometimes i question this to a large extent. why suddenly do s'pore society seem to notice a surge in 27-35 year old ? going to dating agencies? including +. i reckon + oso surge to some extent, probably for a different reason.

anyway, i have excluded the point of that type of magical love. here is more towards pragmatic man-woman relationships. in true love, whether the man or woman is unfaithful or sex b4, they still can b in relationship.

---------------------------------------

maybe, a little more radical views here. the whole idea of gender equality is freakin difficult if u tink about it. a fat + can get a ? provided + show + is a capable. a fat ? has 0.000000001% chance of finding a +. a + can flirt wif millions of ?, then get a ? and settle down well in a loving relationship that lasts. a ? had a relationship, broke up, and then ? has low chance of finding another, so ? turns promiscuous. gender equality seems difficult. i hav to admit. as much as we are reaching a point where + and ? get some equality on many aspects, it is difficult to reach the point where everyting is homogenuous.

once upon a time, if u do read some evolution, u will find that ancestral humans has full sexism and totalitarianism. now we try to reverse such a sexism and totalitarianism... i duno whether it will come true. but as far as possible, sexism shld b reduced so that all man and women can do their best for the society, but i somehow feel all men and women shld not b too obsessed wif themselves and pls contribute to their countries' future generation. what is a country wif everyone working and with no next generation to carry on their prosperity?

conclusion. if u noe the song. what the world, needs now, is love sweet love. haiz. it's the only thing, there's juz too little of.

let's see. how is motivation derived? how did this desire for success, esp personal success, come about?

我班上的约拿丹不错嘛。

that's besides the point. if my mother is willing to sponsor me enuff, i tink maybe i shld try my luck and get some money. i shld really start to get some income for myself by pitting my ass against those doms who probably wld rape me if i beat them. qn is, what can they do? if they loser, well. let's go police.

i ask heaven. can dun bully me. but it's ok. getting bullied awhile by a power u cannot see wad shit it is, well. u hav to take it step by step. or of course, i can take the easy way out, by turning mentally unstable.

but why go all out to make ppl worried about u? that is an attracting attention sign. i duno. sometimes, u nid some attention. well. but u dun hav to seek for it so desperately. u can seek actively, now and then. it's fine. but u do all the time. not good for health. not only for urself, the other guy may turn mentally unstable and whack u instead.

----------------------------------------------

anyway. that was juz rather irrelevant to now. but seems like life's interesting. balls hitting like a truck, hitting precisely. which one is more impt? it seems after 2day, i will prefer a ball that hits like a truck. i conclude, the more ur ball whacks like a truck, the better ur life.

and was pist. that's why i decided to go home and bring the truck out for a drive. truck nids petrol. i mean oil. on the lane. they combine to form a lethal concoction. i tink i nid to learn how to truck on all lane conditions.

cool. shell v-power (98, UL) $1.959 and diesel $1.263 in SGD as of 10 july 2009. cool man. but so far i reckon, oil prices dropped to below US$60 per barrel. u tink it will become cheaper?

once upon a time, oil was dirt cheap. few cents few dollars drive one month. US$10 per barrel. now they buay song buay song, all prices rise up. wad does this teach u? dun offend the dua kia. tink about it. if u are under a boss. u infuriate him for a shit reason, esp very radical ones, u sae his religion sux, his head sux, his wherever sux. i mean. wad for? then he buay song u. he fire u. same ting. juz that in oil, probably life is easier when u wanna jack up the prices. and u hav a more imba weapon at hand since u can produce lots of oil. u dun sell, other ppl die, and we can drink oil as a dessert. i reckon s'pore oil refining and then exporting probably takes up an ok amount of our GDP. e.g. 1% or so i think. but that is enuff isn't it.

as i like to sae. GDP per capita isn't quality of life. it's juz money. is money so impt to u? do u need money so as to be a good person, a hot person, an attractive person? well. maybe nowadays the answer is yes. but the ting is, even if u hav money. it doesn't mean u hav everything. certain things cannot be bought. it seems the only other way to get other things, is not only u nid to earn. u nid to search. u nid to see. and sit down. i duno. maybe the pace in s'pore is rather fast. no one does some searching. even i feel i dun hav time for searching. u nid to see and listen as well. this may be easier, if ppl shuddup. lastly, is to sit down. sit down, most ppl dun even hav a time to rest man. in society like s'pore, if u hav the time to sit down and 随心所欲, i tink it's a luxury.

man. incoherent crap. let's stop.

sian. ai tio li xin kia kia. that was the start. xiu dao li xin tia tia. that probably is now. isn't it. apparently, according to ethics of writing stuff online, it seems i can't write more than this. HAHA. but wad can i sae?

every person who listen to song, probably 50% or more of these songs are referring to something about love. whether is it scream. or a slow song. high chance it's about love. and there is certain research on it.

i like to copy some portion of a song. it says. they say if u love somebody, u shld set them free. and then, if they dun come back, it's jtb. it's meant to be.


so as i sae, is everyting in our control? sometimes yes, sometimes no. let's hav a lame analogy. i play bowling, i noe how i want the ball to go, but if suddenly i slip on the last step and ball goes out of my hand. then how? well. ball goes haywire. u may tot, for all previous steps u've done the best, but now on last moment. off. then the result is wrong. heh. although u may hav thought, everything is in order, apparently it's not.


so we hav to be ready. when everyting is not in control, as usual, 2 choices. accept outcome, and try to find a remedy. or of course, we can try to force our way into control. depends on situation. it is very weird.


finding a remedy is obviously not easy, but so is forcing ur way into control. so as i like to sae, a balance is good. but if u're forced to take up extermist stands, maybe u shld consult around, consider all factors. i mean, obviously. why am i typing this? heh

once upon a time. yeah. once upon a time. but it doesn't mean the story will always end with and they lived happily ever after.

once upon a time there was a person a. persona a died. he didn't live happily ever after. decides to end wif he died. how much can we control ourselves? to the smart man, alot they'll say. i think, therefore i am. i rule my world, i control my life. to the stupid, they will look to dua bei gong and etc gods. that's on a very practical/insensitive level.

but the truth is it doesn't seem easy to take control of ur life all the time. but it's ok. u muz figure out here and there. but sometimes, stuff are not meant for u to figure out. wad can u do? den i oso duno. try harder to find a way out. or avoid.

they say, the day u stop dreaming is the day u stop living. maybe? if u dun hav an aim, where are u going? are there really ppl wif no aim? let's assume a person who wants to die. ahh. that's an aim isn't it? to die. how to die? that's a way to tink about.

dreams and thoughts keep stuff alive. haiz.

sometimes, the truth is not easy to accept. u hav 2 choices when met wif such a truth.

choice 1: accept it. this may be a viable option when u're desperate. and then find a solution and move on wif life. this is good isn't it. face it. i mean, at the end of the day u muz face it one wad.

choice 2: delude urself from the truth. well. good choice if u hav energy on a short term basis. u can bluff urself a while, get urself ready to take that news str8 on man. pls. but. not a good thing if u hav too much balls. cos if u hav balls and certain uprightness, u may not want to do this... u will feel it's against ur values and beliefs.

but. truth is a truth. so at the end of the day still hav to take it. as much as it is appalling. let's hav an e.g. gunpowder. the ang moh only in around 1300s found out gunpowder. chinaman like 800AD alr found out. but ang moh still hav to accept that chinaman invented 1st, as much as they want to tink they hav done it 1st. isn't it?

i've lost it. sian. seems like it's the difficult truth to accept.

羅時豐 代替VS大芭

good song. many a time bad things happen. many ppl live with hollows. and many a time, this hollow happen because there are misconceptions uncleared, lies told, cloudy relationships.

sometimes, it's jtb. but we must strive as far as possible, not to let the notion of jtb take over us all the time. we must strive to work against it, work for what we believe.

controversy. le bo ji? bo ji le hi si la. if u are not worried of stirring up controversy, it only goes to prove some things. a few possibilites:

if u not scared of controversy, that means u muz b speaking the truth, or else u muz be very confirmed in ur stand. that is called good. u are sure of wad u're toking, u hav evidence to back it up. as in back the controversy. this is good.

but there are some type of controversy which is useless. those that are used by attention seeking ppl are lousy controversies, not worth ur time. controversies like, o i tink i hate this guy. o i tink i love this guy from sch. purposely make it into controversy such that ppl will see.

but, when u create controversy, do u wan to hide it, or shld u show, esp it is those that are used speak the truth or u are sure of ur stand that type? interesting

once upon a time:

I am a Specialist of the National Cadet Corps
I serve with pride and dedication.

I excel in my specialist duties,
ensure the discipline of my Cadets
and will nurture them to their potential.

I overcome difficulties with my adventurous spirit.
I will uphold the prestige of the National Cadet Corps
to be the premiere uniformed group in Singapore

some people ask. should we wait for love to come? heh. i reckon, to a certain extent.

i was having a interesting tcs wif some old frens. so, there was a good point brought up. 姜太公钓鱼，愿者上钩. this has a meaning of a trap. but sorry folks, apparently, love is very much a trap. u're stuck means u're stuck. unless u decide not to be stuck together. and it may bring about many negative externalities if u decide to unstick.

waiting for the perfect person may not be the best choice if u figure around. yes, if kamu tyco, good for u. can get perfect person. but wad if ur perfect person tinks that u're juz another shit? aww. jtb eh. isn't it.

some ppl sae, acceptance is key. i agree very much wif this. as long as there's small attraction, and u are WILLING and ABLE to work on this small attraction, build up trust and blah blah. tings shld work out fine, unless there is a big moral, political, social, ethical, household issue that u and that person are together. hu sae, u muz marry a perfect person? look at ur parents. which are a perfect match? why are many of them staying together? because u and me, the child. is alive. and they live wif differences. and sort it out now and then. and they live. together. albeit not the most harmoniously sometimes.

if u are running out of breath and are resigned to nothing, den. juz shuddup. sit down. leave ur fishing rod there. when it shakes, pick it up, see whether ok. try around. taste the fish, see whether u are fine. not fine, den as i said, it may b difficult, but u still hav to bear the negative ext. after that, repeat. OR u can juz take that fish, eat and be unhappy till eternity. theoretically, u shld satisfy urself by not being unhappy. but if ur brain is quite spoilt like i believe many others are, juz sit and b unhappy eating that fish till eternity.

but the best cure is of course to be able to sit, wait, instead of fish come, angel come.