we are born as humans, we have queer and deviant fetishes. does it mean we act upon them?

i see a girl, i may have certain level of sexual desire. do i act upon that? surely decency tells me not to. i have the right, definitely, to just lose myself to the sexual desire. i can, and some would say i might as well. but do i just do that? nope.

similarly, humans are also born with certain degrees of homosexuality. like a continuum. homo 1 side, hetero 1 side. so i may like a male as a male sometimes. romantically. i may have certain desires to form a long-term loving relationship with him, be sexually fulfilled with the other party of the same sex. but do i do that?

no. why? watch biologically. is that useful to us? animals that behave in homosexuality at the end of the day don't get their genes passed down. so definitely, i wldn't mind laws that allow homosexuality. but naturally, as a clever and discerning selfish animal, i'd sit and watch the homosexuals burn, cos their genes won't be passed down anyways. there are some natural laws in place for a reason. do we need to do some extra implanting so as to get the homosexuals their own children? that sounds mad to me.

as a human wif discernment, should i act as per an animal? definitely not rite. i am given intellect to be able to discern that i shldn't act upon all my animal spirits. i have the ability to understand something called morality, something called decency. i know that i shldn't be poking my penis into a pitcher plant just cos it looks like a good replacement for a vagina. isn't it?

u may say this is crude speaking. but when we act as per animals, that's the level we can go. we just live by impulses. we live without due thinking.

i ever acted upon my animal spirits. at the end of the day, what did i get out of it? i always tell myself, it's still vanity after i acted upon my animal spirits. they claim self-actualization, some claim access to basic rights. i'm like... heh. i rather have my rights and my duty dictated by God than to follow my own animal spirits. i am actually sick of my own animal tendencies, yet when i am not thinking properly, i always drop back there. it's time... let me transcend and see past them.

and let me continue in the struggle against my animal spirits, my weak flesh, and live by the Holy Spirit.

s'pore no time and space to learn and reflect? it's all in the mind.

if ur mind is not receptive, even if i give u the bloody time and space, i give u the best facilitators, as long as your attitude is not to learn and reflect, u wun even do that. u will continue to stagnate nia. simple. HAHA...

即使是某一刻电流为零了，但电容两端电压依然存在，

因为过去曾有电流作用过。

电容能将以往每时每刻电流的作用点点滴滴地记忆下来。

some friends are truer than true.

u may think u have written them off, u think they are mad ppl, u think they are crazy pressurizers, doing things for vested interests.

vested interests aside, if u seek their help, they ARE there for u. wad's more important? the fact that they have vested interests, or the fact that they are there for u? did they expect u to help them back overtly? usually most likely no.

these ppl are there. it's just whether we are frank enough to ourselves to treasure them.

or we can always treat these friends waiting at the sidelines as pieces of shit, immortalize them or devilize them.

so i have dissected the situation.

basically, they are just unable to see the truth. the truth doesn't match their perceptions (dream) so much so that it is too overwhelming. so overwhelming that the only way to get out of this is to avoid it totally.

do i avoid anything in my life? i can't really rmb.

some are overwhelmed by the threat of a looming exam. some aren't. many are overwhelmed by the fear of more people loving them than before. they think that such a love manifests in creepiness.

u're mad i tell u. creepiness or not is but a matter of perception. if u are worried of love, u go think about how weak u are.

as said, love comes and go, love will always be present. if u don't appreciate love, it just shows what sort of person you are.

so in the final analysis, what's wrong?

nothing. nothing is wrong. it's just the perceptions. the perceptions can't seem to be crossing correctly.

你问自己，你怕什么？你犹豫什么？你哪里不安？哈哈。我过分的话我很想讲出来。只是我在三思后，我觉得这种话说不出口。若一旦让你知道，你一定心慌意乱。

there u see the paradox appearing again. why am i giving in? why am i acceding? why am i getting out of the way? for what reason? this, u only can think about it urself.

i'm not going to fight who's greater or what. i mean that's not what we're fighting about. but when it comes back down to earth, u will know what u need to see.

now u're not on earth. now u're in dreamland, as per every person of ur age. dreamland. in fact, may i even call it fantasy. hello, fantasy is a sick place. dreams, it's see if u hav ability to make it true. i can turn it true. i don't want it to be a nightmare. i rather it be a dream that can turn true.

but if u are still in fantasy, hello. stahp.