A man has the courage to have uncomfortable conversations. He is honest with his intentions and lets people know where they stand. A boy avoids. He ignores confrontation or any serious talks about feelings. Instead of dealing with a situation, he runs away from it or creates drama or excuses to mask the fact he’s not that into you or a relationship.

A man is afraid of rejection but will put himself out there anyway. A boy is afraid of rejection and acts passive so that his pride and ego won’t ever get too banged up.

wells, not my own saying, quoted from this blog called justmytype.

but i always wonder, then, is the other party a woman. is she woman enough? if she is not woman enough, my job is to protect her heart.

u gotta know, how fucking shag it means to protect someone's heart? u know what is protecting?

u know how disgusting it is when i see, ppl in less than (perceived) preferred situations, yet sticking it out? do u know how disgusting it is when i see others being offended, affected negatively, seeing them in distress, in confusion?

yes i used to b a fuck up to make ppl confused so as to gain some self-edifying victory. now, enough, when i go over to the other side and i want to care not on myself, i see all these issues. ppl defrauding others for own sake. for own pleasure. 

i crossed line that i shldn't hav crossed last time before, i know what is happening. i can put myself out there. pardon me, i m still selfish, i m counting costs. because there is price to pay. there is price to pay for being the protector.

there may be no reward for doing the right thing, as per normal. yes, mayb i shld stop looking at reward. fuck myself, go do the right thing la. the right thing usually no fucking reward one. but just do it lah.

God help me.

sometimes... feeling insecure.

where is your love? where is your maturity? where is your decorum?

now i understand. ya i know it's not the time. but it isn't fair, when we just live behind facades... we dowan to see each other truly... and force one another to live in illusion. it's not very responsible when we do that.

ps bro. bua the car... paint scrape... no beep from the reverse thingy oso fml.

all the lessons learnt.... must be from sth epic and scarring then i will learn one. other than that like i won't learn any lesson. fuck.

not fun lei.