juz a quick post before i use my own cognitive dissonance again.

let's face it ppl. i am selfish and self-centred. ahh. now i see the root of the problem. like totally. haha, i love the world to revolve around me. i love it ttm. hence, i shld start seeing things a little differently every day, from 2day.

before i become the gravity.

let's stop being too skeptical about certain ppl. hey wait. i really wonder, whether i can get myself, convince myself that these ppl aren't actually plp-ing. hmm. let's see. time will tell, must tell.

in any case, time to behave myself.

i recognise that the content of this blog has been written with cursory thought. most people must be thinking that the bloody author of this blog is some chap who only can express his ideas incoherently.

maybe today is the day i turn it around.

i believe i need to start to express myself (or my thoughts) in a clearer and more concise manner, instead of rattling some incoherent nonsense which usually makes no sense to others. in fact, why i enjoy being incoherent - maybe i have to admit it is a form of arrogance. i expect people to understand what i'm saying although words and phrases coming out from my mouth (or brain) are quite fubar. disorganised, ungrammatical, uncouth, crude.

and this incoherence translates into certain problems. just look at my gp. i have to use a structured way of writing to express my thoughts, so that i can get a decent composition grade. wow. hai. i am unable to churn out a decent personal statement by just sitting down and writing, because i have no idea how to express my thoughts fluently and with clarity.

it is possible that by blogging coherently and giving 2 flying fks about my phrasing of thoughts, i can improve my language. why not give it a try...

it's 4am and i'm waking up to ur perfume...

it's abt 12am and i'm still awake for i duno what (not quoting lyrics here).

at 1st i wanted to type quite a lot of stuff, but my lazy ass disease kicks in and i decided not to. in any case, i tink ppl shld read the freakonomics book. quite interesting. but last few parts a little lame la, it became quite unscientifically sound.

but this time... good for tinking. and as i think in the middle of the nite, i reverse back to many months ago, and these times, i was thinking about something, someone, some place etc. really. and i kip wondering whether i can stop myself from my dreams. rationally, i hav concluded the best possible solution is taking place, is manifesting. but my greedy self says, hey, there's an incentive for MYSELF (note it's only myself) for getting what i want.

but problem is, when i tink on another POV, things get messy. why i sae currently = best possible solution: if i get what i want, den, other ppl is and are getting what they don't want. tangibly, i'm not sacrificing. intangibly, i see myself as sacrificing. in lousier terms, i am giving up. haha...

but on another rational thought, it's better to stay as now. why? simply because it is prohibitively difficult to go get what i want. haha... maybe it's better to switch to substitutes. but quite obviously i won't choose an inferior substitute. plz. and it's hard to find a near perfect substitute..... so i duno. HAHA

but but but... i noticed my last few para began wif but.