father in heaven,

great are you, and you are worthy to be praised... father forgive me. forgive my lack of understanding. forgive my haughtiness. forgive me, for i have been boastful and proud.

my overestimation of my abilities... have been a stumbling block to many. lord, forgive my sins. forgive me of the times that I wanted my way.

lord, let me be guided by your spirit. let me follow you. lord, let your will be done through me, and not my will all the time. lord, let me serve you with a pure heart, with no evil intent, with no boastful intent.

guide my heart, let me speak not of my selfishness, let me speak not from my pride, my need to cover my face.

but let me speak your goodness, let me speak whatever that is edifying, let me speak whatever that is pleasing in your sight, and not what i please.

lord, remind me from your word too. from proverbs 3:5-6 "trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thy own understanding. in all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths." not my path be trodden, but lord, guide my path.

bless me, according to your will and not according to my selfish wants. lord, keep my heart from evil, especially evil intents and temptations. continue to humble me Lord, let me see that you are greater, and your will is sovereign over me, over all things of this material world.

in Jesus name i pray to you Lord, amen.

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有时在堕落到一个地步的时候，我们才会明白、了解一些真理。

realisations after being in utown for a while and NUS and FoE of NUS.

1) people are lazy, they hate to read emails.
2) punctuality is a virtue that is not valued at all.
3) too many people, "having a form of godliness, yet denying [God's] power"
4) people aren't as discerning as they seem.
5) people who seem repressed making a stand is a hero; people who stand up for current existing trend (be it morally correct/right/sensible) are bigots, idiots, self-centred etc.
6) mugging seems to be immoral when others mug, but when they themselves mug it's go "get back" at others.

so this is what we see. haha

take a look back into the archives of this blog... i was depraved, sex-craving, sex-hungry, self-righteous. basically shitty.

today... God help me. God, guide me to be a better person to shine for u in this world.

why do i study the bible? for my self-righteousness and ego and knowledge? or shldn't it be to promote God's glory in humility and love and grace?

God, help the world... so many are learning... yet with knowledge... so many are puffed up... i was there as well. but it's hard to tell others... it's hard to tell others that knowledge when used wrongly it's like power: absolute knowledge corrupts too. it's far too easy to abuse it for manipulation, for control, to strike fear, to make others idolise u...

and we do know those who use God's name for their own purposes... it's everywhere... the world is about God, and not about using his name for selfish purposes...

what's the end of human? to glorify God.

humble me, so that i can shine in darkness... point people to God...

i'm enjoying myself too much in the past year eh.

enjoying my ego for so long, enjoying my pride for so long, tasting the fullness of it...

够了。你在这样下去，死路一条。谁会来接受你？

其实。。。自己心里也是够乱。

整天遇到诱惑。。。一次又一次烦恼。。。在周围都是陷阱。一定得记得靠主的力量来度过。。。

不容易，不容易。想来想去，每次就觉得为什么很少人接受我？还是我整天在跟不同的人作对？？可能。整天只想竞争。整天要赢。整天要胜过他人，包容不了别人。

原来如此。写来写去可能这里有抓到问题。。。

求上帝帮助我。整天跟着别人笑笑，其实我里面真的是太多放不下的怨、愁、嫉、傲。。。

愚昧人行愚妄事，行了又行，就如狗转过来吃他所吐的.

够了。别做狗了。当以基督的心为心。。。不要为了虚荣做东西。不要为了无意的事情烦恼。。。不可贪求情欲也不能被所看见的诱惑。。。

我穿過的拖鞋　和專用的茶杯　都沾上薄薄的灰
像葉子的書籤　還是歪歪斜斜　被夾在二十八頁
我不該赴這場約　不該貪看這點點細節
不敢去挖掘　這是遺忘還是眷戀

其實愛過境遷　關心想多一點　又怕我不知深淺
還是有些界限　隔在我們之間　彼此都難以跨越
想問你新的愛戀　是否有你想要的完美
一切的一切　是否都能如你所願

除了隱藏感覺　除了繼續寒暄　還有什麼可以解圍
如果因為從前　讓心模糊曖昧　寧可永遠不要見面
你有你的世界　我將會在你的記憶裡慢慢沉澱
不能是情人　就讓思念　自生自滅