我懂了她/李圣杰

mayb. same singer, permutating the possible situations
我懂了她，不要我为她牵挂，她说天空很大要自由飞翔

手放开-李圣杰

dat's right. it's impt to know certain methods of behaviour.

honestly. i can try to prove every single thing in the world. (keyword: try.) definitely. but the problem is, after showing, proving and demonstrating with examples, will u believe, accept and know what i proved? i am quite skeptical. haha. hence, i tink i shall only do a partial prove. partial prove. how partial is partial? problem is, hard to quantify stuff here. hahahah... find out more in time to come. in any case, be prepared.

男人流泪比流血加倍心疼。

but why? i don't know. when i use naix, it's a good reminder. when i open wounds, i will lifesteal even more. when someone use naix against me, same thing. he will lifesteal me oso.

我做得不够吗？possibly. mayb u hate cold reading. haha. of course, who wants to be under control? but once again, think about it, freedom isn't free when there isn't some form of limitations.

i'm worried. i'm insecure. whenever certain events happen, my long-term memory is activated. yes, i think that's the dangerous part. the long-term memory. some things will lead to a reminiscence.

anw, i'm not so sure of my personal ability oso. to certain situations, definitely i can retain my rationality. but when the environment changes, the time changes, some other forces come into play. do u nid to mind? haha. like really la. if yall gave a shit, pretend nth is there. once u reckon there is something, it's like ghost. u'll always think there is a ghost.

it's robbery, i'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me

Those who drink to drown their sorrows should be told that sorrows know how to swim. Men are from earth, women are from earth. Deal with it.

I envy dogs because.. they always try to put their head between some girls legs, and they pet him!

hai. wad more can one do on a stony afternoon other than training one's vision in filtering out the white light from the computer screen and focusing on the important stuff that are black and other colours other than white? hahaha... and also trying to train one's typing speed? some are studying videos, some are studying texts, some are studying how to use the functions of their handphone more efficiently, some are studying the taste of the cigarette, some studying their eyelids...

yup. that seems to be an intellectual way to describe what people do on such an afternoon. at least it's not as bad as getting deployed under the hot sun for training. at least i'm here filtering out white light from the screen and hoping my eyes don't get tired from it in an air-conditioned place. interestingly, i'm wondering hu comes to read this site.

lots of reflections.

but juz wondering, is there and obligation for a calculative and/or cynical people to turn genuine again, pure and uncalculative and not seeking personal gains?

honestly, i reckon, no obligations. for one, if this guy is able to rationalise and calculate gains for himself, he juz has to extend these calculations to others, then he can make the world a socially desirable equilibrium place. (pardon all poor english please). isn't it? he just nid to stop thinking only for himself, but look at other POV, think about it, and find a win-win situation. win-win situation does not hav to be created only by becoming a nice guy for the sake of being nice, it can be created by calculative freaks too. in fact, the nice guy may end up in lose-lose situations more often than not.

enuff of the crap tho. haha. i wonder wad's my problem wif expressing ideas coherently. wonder when i nid to take my SAT oso. no SAT, no ang moh. got SAT, not necessary muz go ang moh. wadeva la. see wad comes my way. if take on jan, means now gotta pia. and man is always lazy.

o. so the previous post was no. 800. that spans over about 5 years. not bad la.

was juz wondering. a few things that we utter. "sir! we take up the challenge. to lead, we dare. to excel, we will. to overcome we must!"... a voice will echo "good! my very best to each and every one of u"

for some reason or wad, this thing has been in my head. yes, i agree, i take up the challenge. to lead, i dare. ok fine. (cos it doesn't mean i will really be a good leader but i juz dare to lead ppl and move ppl) to excel we will. when i sae this, i abit hong gan. excel. now i in wad vocation? i honestly sae, i am not SME in any of the things in this vocation. siala. and then, do i look like an outstanding leader? my goodness. how to excel we will. lastly, to overcome, we must. this one ok. np. i love mindfuck one. overcome challenges is good. but there's a bit of a catch. to overcome my problem wif being a excellent leader? this one abit difficult.

why is ur second son such a failure?

really, did u teach him the right thing? i guess about there, that's about wad u cld hav done.

but the problem is... he really got learn the rite things bo??

really leh, he's damn fked up. he claim, he attempting to improve. but only stuck at attempting to improve.

so really, pck sae, use ur brain. like seriously. use ur brain. on top of that, use my ears, mouth, eyes, hands, legs properly. if not, haha. i really wonder wad the shit is in store for me. now i see why. i hav a problem. like seriously, i hav a problem. which is that, i hav a problem and i'm probably not doing anyting effective about it.

jiak ba bo sai pang. hence i am kaypohing around.

more i see, more i disappointed. i wonder, y i nid to expect so much from myself. if i got choice, i wan go play sports. play until i sick. totally. but too bad, my niche not in sports, it's in things i find sick of doing, but for a reason i excel. things i not sick of doing, i never excel. good joke.

suck my thumb. maybe not. suck thumb, sit down, no change done. how about, be the change? woots.

juz a quick post before i use my own cognitive dissonance again.

let's face it ppl. i am selfish and self-centred. ahh. now i see the root of the problem. like totally. haha, i love the world to revolve around me. i love it ttm. hence, i shld start seeing things a little differently every day, from 2day.

before i become the gravity.

let's stop being too skeptical about certain ppl. hey wait. i really wonder, whether i can get myself, convince myself that these ppl aren't actually plp-ing. hmm. let's see. time will tell, must tell.

in any case, time to behave myself.

i recognise that the content of this blog has been written with cursory thought. most people must be thinking that the bloody author of this blog is some chap who only can express his ideas incoherently.

maybe today is the day i turn it around.

i believe i need to start to express myself (or my thoughts) in a clearer and more concise manner, instead of rattling some incoherent nonsense which usually makes no sense to others. in fact, why i enjoy being incoherent - maybe i have to admit it is a form of arrogance. i expect people to understand what i'm saying although words and phrases coming out from my mouth (or brain) are quite fubar. disorganised, ungrammatical, uncouth, crude.

and this incoherence translates into certain problems. just look at my gp. i have to use a structured way of writing to express my thoughts, so that i can get a decent composition grade. wow. hai. i am unable to churn out a decent personal statement by just sitting down and writing, because i have no idea how to express my thoughts fluently and with clarity.

it is possible that by blogging coherently and giving 2 flying fks about my phrasing of thoughts, i can improve my language. why not give it a try...

it's 4am and i'm waking up to ur perfume...

it's abt 12am and i'm still awake for i duno what (not quoting lyrics here).

at 1st i wanted to type quite a lot of stuff, but my lazy ass disease kicks in and i decided not to. in any case, i tink ppl shld read the freakonomics book. quite interesting. but last few parts a little lame la, it became quite unscientifically sound.

but this time... good for tinking. and as i think in the middle of the nite, i reverse back to many months ago, and these times, i was thinking about something, someone, some place etc. really. and i kip wondering whether i can stop myself from my dreams. rationally, i hav concluded the best possible solution is taking place, is manifesting. but my greedy self says, hey, there's an incentive for MYSELF (note it's only myself) for getting what i want.

but problem is, when i tink on another POV, things get messy. why i sae currently = best possible solution: if i get what i want, den, other ppl is and are getting what they don't want. tangibly, i'm not sacrificing. intangibly, i see myself as sacrificing. in lousier terms, i am giving up. haha...

but on another rational thought, it's better to stay as now. why? simply because it is prohibitively difficult to go get what i want. haha... maybe it's better to switch to substitutes. but quite obviously i won't choose an inferior substitute. plz. and it's hard to find a near perfect substitute..... so i duno. HAHA

but but but... i noticed my last few para began wif but.

wad goes around comes around. isit true? hahaha... dun care la huh.

plz la, everyting go circle circle, even i oso blur blur. duno lei. very weird lei. den one day make up my mind, another day sibei can't make up my mind liao. i oso duno wad to do...

so somebody shld enlighten me? i now is half know, half duno, the other half bo ga lan, the other half wan slack, another half wan general direction go, another half sae do properly if u wan do.

in any case, going off to brunei soon. so, maybe got time to think about things la haha.

messy messy. the world is rather messy.

u're dumped in the ocean. wad shld u do? start swimming. u're dumped in the jungle. wad shld u do? bash. u're dump in the city. wad shld u do? go clubbing. or so, i have seen. really, as much as i do want to disagree wif such notions and not conform, it's not easy to not conform.

choice 1. look normal. choice 2. stand out like a dick. choice 1, is safe. choice 2, pray hard. it's make or break. stand out, and become popular, hola wonderful ur life. stand out, and look wrong, hola ur life is gonna be totally wrong man.

who to believe? haha. rmb from earliest times, i always claim there's sth wrong wif plp. well, i dun tink i shld be doing so, esp wif my frens. all i can sae to ppl who wants to plp frens is: 神经病. hey, hi man. seriously, hi.

in any case, as for myself, i have experienced that if u were to seem friendly life's good on the outside. ppl see u as nice man quickly. the keyword here is quickly. do u demand that swiftness? if yes, den go ahead. it works, really. do i demand becoming frens wif ppl quickly? usually no. why so? haha, no pt explaining. cos ppl rather see me as quiet, introverted, madman. they rather juz see that and stop there. so as they talk to me more they are so surprised that their pre-conceived notions are so damn wrong. definitely, 1st impressions last, hence i'm still madman. but they see more dimensions than a quiet idiot.

let's hav another time to post haha... now no time.

wad a joke.

they really do believe in fk ur own friends, family, colleagues and etc. haha. really, i only hav 3 words. wad a joke.

it's k, i believe in appeasement. we are never ok except by their blood. HAHA. hence, my mistakes will never be forgiven except by the blood of these people. HAHA

haha.

u sure u are the right person to motivate me? i dunno you know. seriously, comm skote, my downfall. comm skote ar comm skote, y u so stupid????? failing me a few times already leh. as prophesied, u tink u good, actually mayb u never be able to play conscience game wif me. sure, life game u win, conscience game?

haha, sorry man, my conscience game is 100% clear. that's where my ego stems from. i believe i hav never done wrong a person. unfortunately in my opinion, u hav done me many wrong, hence i sae u can never play conscience game wif me. sorry if that will inflame u, but really, i no nid u to sorry me bcos sorry no cure. idiot. now wad i wan, stop saying sorry, juz carry on being a dog like me, everyting is fine. the more u wan tell me i can do it, i wun. HAHA.

den for ease of blame pushing i'll juz sae i phail, because of u! so easy eh! dat's why i dare assert i fail in the game of life....

bang bang ur lao bu...

wad a hectic month. now, for another hectic month. if not, it's supposed to b even more hectic. a few exercises, a few shooting, alot of running about. wad more can i ask for? this is training. i wan training, they giv me training. imba.

so apparently i duno what i was in for totally. market failure. imperfect info, assymetric info. then there's some sign of underproduction of public goods. heh. poor. some externalities caused in the demand and supply of training too.

never knew this market was quite dirty. i always thought it is clean, it is a good market for training up. apparently, maybe not so. maybe it's already a job. bloody hell. i'm now sucked into a market, not a training area. haha... it's either i change my mindset, or get phased out. really, i dun mind the latter, and i'm lazy to do the former. but i as of now, it seems like it is not worth to go for the latter. hence, what should i do? i don't know.

some things are temporal, some things stay permanent.

and it has to be that this wing is only my holding wing. HAHA. good luck for my next 3 months. let's hope everything's gonna be k... juz when i got used to my view of the safti tower from my window... haiz. but nvm. be a man. let's go. i muz go where the brave men die. (scarly injured sia heh)

same wish, different time nia. suck thumb. but let's put it this way, very hard very hard. haha. as i like to sae, very hard very hard. everything very hard, very difficult, not easy. yea especially this thing, this idea, this notion, this phenomenon, this occurence, this poisson occurence. really, very hard very hard. hav, great! dun hav, den it's ok, not like as if poisson occurences supposed to happen in a finite space and time anyways....

well. i love book out time. a few lessons learnt: 1. learn to suck thumb 2. learn to suck it in 3. learn to drink water 4. learn to treasure free time and slack time and book outs 5. to work independently and cooperatively at the same time wadeva. seen many many tings. so u wan to kaypoh, i let u kaypoh. type liddat enuff liao la. nxt training phase duno wad will happen. but, good training anyways. good training.

hehe. i was juz thinking. i dun tink i will bow down to others for real, unless for ceremonial sake. BUT, i oso no nid ppl to bow down to me. HAHA. hence, if u still tink le si hong di, hmmmm. duno lei. siao liao already. got problem already.... siannnn. hahahahaha

haha, until now.... some ppl still wanna be a king and haven't learnt to be a dog. pls la... u tink i jiak ba bo sai pang wan niao u nia? wa kua tio nia... and sae sae la. so, u wan guailan over it? hmmmm. i oso know how wad. haha. 真是奇怪也。如果真的有问题，你就举出来说说吗，何必要找个死路？ so once again it's a consideration. say person a has a problem with b. should person a: settle the problem himself through diplomacy, settle it through force, or bring it to higher authority? some ppl obviously think settling it through diplomacy is safe. but at the same time, some feel that this is a pussy and sissy thing to do. HAHA. please, here is a game, play by the rules, u'll win. technically, if u dun bend the rules, you are safe. HAHA.

wad a poor time to get diarrhoea.

in the middle of tests, weekend died due to it, now monday alr still gotta be at home. i wonder whether i shld extend one more day. seriously. my limbs are still weak. if i gotta be walking back with my stuff, i duno whether my body can take it. but there are a few key events... hai. i cannot afford not to get back toooo...

may god bless me, may everything go well according to his will.

not bad not bad. so far see many type of thinking.

but i muz sae, i can't empathise wif a group of ppl, but i should be sympathising. they quite funny. it's in their blood to show 2 face to ppl. super sad. like this guy, seem so happy in front of me, secretly, super buay song. when at breaking point, den come threaten me physically. come, do so, i not worried, even if i die, hehe, everyting is controlled.

another abstract thing. self-motivation. everyone's level of it is different. a crude example: in schools, some ppl do finish their homework, some juz copy, some juz dun do at all. simply put, the more motivated will go finish. but, consequence: others juz claim they are muggers. fair enough, but, why dun those who are slacking juz kip quiet and suck thumb while the muggers get recognised/rewarded for themselves being motivated?

HAHA. mayb, tjj. they're juz... jealous. HAHA. this applies many place, the result can be a backstab as well. but, do i look like i care? if i know being motivated is the way to go or at least presumably the right thing now, den, nike la. siala. now ppl see this, later kpkb. like i care. i stand up for the truth, even somewhere below stand up together one.

but overall, everything seems fine now. can communicate, although i seem to stick out. at least, in my opinion nia. haha. not sure why. heck care. being myself more impt.

we speak about freedom.

but regimentation is everywhere. think about it, u tink governments are not controlled by somebody? think again... haha. as much as we want to be free and can do anyting, we actually cannot. in nearly all situations.

everyting's fine so far in ns, nth much interesting tho to talk about.

if i were to comment on behaviour, it'll probably be a long list. my reflections, another long list. my speculation about certain ppl, another long list. generally negative comments, but there are certain outstanding positive comments too.

let me carry on having a positive attitude towards ns. this is because, of my realities. i went in being negative, found that i have to b positive due to the environment. hence, now, i shall try to be positive, which i generally am already. haha.

2day, i employ a loser method of writing, not a reasoning one.

they who speak about religious harmony calls christians intolerant bastards for proselytizing/evangelising/even mere telling others about christianity, saying that u're not supposed to force ur view upon others.

how about seeing it from a confucian point of view? wad is a christian's job? one part of it, is to spread christianity. so, do u wan to b intolerant and call this practice stupid? go ahead. HAHA. go ahead. i can't stop u.

i may hold the view that a person is stupid, but i juz dun sae it. and of course, i will hope to change such a mindset. why change the perception? because it will breed nothing but some useless unhappiness.

随微风轻轻吹送着落霞
我已习惯在每个傍晚想她
让晚归的星悄悄去看她
带给她我心中无数牵挂

poor choice poor choice. once again. u c, it's not something dat once we sae, we are able to do some tings. let's sae u fall into a waterfall. u sae to urself, i wan to swim out of it. well sure, it may be possible, but i muz sae it's prohibitively difficult, and u may juz resign to ur fate.

the strong, do not resign to their fate and they at last get out of the waterfall's whirlpool. the noob, mayb they either resign to fate, else they not zai enuff to get out. and normally, we dun see many zai ppl around. there are also some who can get out of the waterfall, but i tell u they aren't strong. they're juz mad. so maybe since i'm not so strong, i can choose the mad path. but the mad path isn't for usual humans. it's for half psychos.

hence, when we drop into a waterfall, do wad? HAHA. but this is rather pessimistic viewpoint la, dun take it too seriously HAHA

hav a happy chinese new year.

i noe it's cny eve, but nvm la, in advance.

some things pervade me quite badly.

wad a fat disappointment. hai. but nvm. it seems, mayb some tings we nid to resign to fate. some tings not within our control and do not go according to what we desire. so, wad to do? suck thumb? probably.

disappointing. disappointing to tink about some ppl, some events, some actions and decisions and consequences. some ppl sae, shldn't tink, no point. although i like to sae i see present and future, i'm quite stuck in the past. some ppl want to be like this. HAHA. well i rather not. that doesn't mean i shld get caught up with the world and its nonsense which comes along, but i shld get on and stop harping on some small fault once upon a time.

once upon a time. yea. once upon a time. last time. and 想当年，想当天.. once again, no point. wad's done is done, wad's supposed to happen is already here. wad to do?

let me adopt a holier-than-thou attitude for one day.

from wiki: vulgarity is the quality of being common, coarse or unrefined. can refer to social behaviour as well as art forms as well as use of language.
profanity: words or gestures or social expressions that are constructed or interpreted as insulting, rude, showing disrespect and desecrating.

we do see many ppl nowadays being vulgar and speaking profanities with every sentence. sure, i dun really mind them doing so, especially in social situations. but, to a person whom u just met? i dun tink that's a very nice sign eh haha. and, interestingly, fine if u enjoy speaking in profanities. but there are these ppl who want to show and display they are vulgar. i find these ppl funny. really, i laugh at them. u know much profanities, does it make u any more sociable? i tell u, i dun tink so.

and i know of some ppl speaking profanities and vulgarities in a tongue i know of. AND, they use it without knowing the literal meaning, which may turn very very amusing. a common example: guys who sae, tio gan. tio gan, i mean still make sense la, but really, i guess it's quite painful... a more imba example wld b a girl, i heard her sae, dulan. really, do u hav one? HAHA! she dulan, really, i bow down.

that was real amazing and amusing man...

really. as i continue reading, i continue to find where i hav failed. similarly, i continue to find where others hav failed.

as usual, i am very judgemental. is that wrong? some say yes, some say, if u're that way, maybe, juz be that way lo. wad hav i to say to myself? nth much. wad is real respect? wad is real altruism/kindness? what is real tolerance? what is real acceptance?

really, as a person, i never understood these concepts. i only know, shut my mouth, they liddat den let them liddat, they do this den let them etc. i only know, dun get myself into trouble, rmb to do good tings to others cos it's right and it's nice to do so, dun b selfish else ppl call u selfish nut, etc. lousy man i may be. but, how to "cure" this disease of mine?

i dun see anyting wrong in being so cynical in doing things. e.g. helping ppl not only for goodness' sake but also for my own impression, por lan pa here and there, be a dog here and there, for the sake of not only my benefits but also society's. i help society, i help myself. i muz confess, i never ever believed in wad altruism. i hav no idea why i dun hav that capacity.

but once again, is that wrong? some say, u're juz an idiot, a bastard, get a life, get a heart. i duno. i noe myself, because of such tinking, i'm driven once i hav a goal. let's juz hope, i will continue my kindness although many a time it is not about pure kindness only, let's hope i will continue to benefit society even if i'm seeking my own good, own personal selfish motives.

brings me to the self-esteem sort of questions. if i'm kind not because i'm really kind but because i know it's a good thing to do for myself, am i really kind?

maybe, i shld find my own answers myself.

is obedience important?

maybe. i guess obedience with some sort of a discernment is good. but too bad, some ppl really cannot appreciate obedience, believing that their wisdom is sufficient.

so they go their own way. but remember, though many who are successful are mavericks, only few mavericks succeed. the rest, duno.

let me b cynical for a while, or as i usually like to b HAHA..

wad other ppl sae, when transcripted into words, sometimes, quite nice. HAHA. but really, wad it really means? i duno yer noe.

really, i dun mind persecuted for religion. but i really hav a problem wif poor religion.

let's face it, if u're a christian and u can't face it that ur god is perfect in anger and hate as he is perfect in love, dun be one. if u can't accept this doctrine, sorry. my god is perfect in hate as he is in love. if he wasn't, he won't be able to show his love perfectly. and that is where many ppl fail to grasp, they only hear, oh, if god is so loving, why he go kill people? why he allow sin? (of course there are standard answers i can give, but no point, u can go and find out for urself. because, i can support christianity, someone else will tear the argument down.)
similarly, i will never get to understand why my god does things this way. but i do know, he is good.

and i attended a good wedding, tho marred by some nonsense the pastor has done. i shall not point it out here, but, really, i feel ashamed to be a christian there. because that guy, i really wonder whether he knew what he was doing.

--------------

but good try, as i like to sae, i'm getting myself into much confusion. sure, i invest not in this world, and i know i am here but i am not of here. sure, i do hav hope for the future. but, for now, there are tings at hand to do. like getting myself back again. haha.

seems like, recently i've lost myself in something that i dun understand. too bad.

poor day. poor decisions, i got poor sportsmanship, poor predictions, poor money spending, poor everyting.

HAHA. or maybe, i shld see it more optimistically. i hav noticed that they are poor, instead of convincing myself they are good choices, when they are not.

money, nt easy to earn. but bad to become a slave of money. isn't it? u master money, not let wealth master u. but then, with little amount of money, u will tend to become a slave of money. u nid money to sustain urself. hai. so, i will get to appreciate how ppl go to high income bracket from low ones... that is quite talented i muz concede.

i'm feeling sick.

really. they call me stupid. that's fine. others call me smart. fine. some call me idiotic. fine. some call me cynical and calculative. fine.

is my heart hardened? maybe. is your heart hardened? i guess, a considerable number of ppl reading this have their hearts hardened. why are they? i will never know. but really, i won't mind not seeing them. in any case, i am not supposed to see them. for some reason or another they appear. so i see them.

i can choose a few options to people who appear. watch/observe/oogle at them. else interact with them. really, maybe i shld juz choose oogling at them. wastes no extra mental effort.

why do not interact? picture a interview. as the interviewee, usually u're asked qns u find hard to answer. really, when ppl ask me such questions, i rather oogle at them than answering. they probably know the answer themselves already, they prepared a standpoint. might as well oogle at them. moreover, sometimes, they pre-empt what u're gonna sae. so, no point what.

moreover, i'm confident of living with only my family and not getting extremely bored for a few days. doesn't matter to me if i dun interact with more than my family members. HAHA

i'm brought up to think that i am lousy at sports.

maybe i really am. u c, i try to defy it for the past duno how many years. but, fail. hence, now, quite lousy la.

i'm brought up to think that i'm good at studies and piano.

duno how good i am. i try not to make it happen for the past duno how many years. but, fail. hence, now, quite good lo.

so maybe i'm supposed to focus on my area of comparative advantage. but, really, focus on them? music abit too late ba. but studies? i duno. yer noe, i've tried some interviews now and then. but i fail all of these interviews. why? mainly, can't plp. fail at it. + portfolio not zai enuff to they see, they know tok gong person that type. maybe i shld mug interview questions.

in any case, let's see what's ahead. i can choose to juz sleep for the next few days and rot. that sounds like a good idea. in any case, i'm not able to market any of my services, if they are even up to standard, in public to earn a steady money over the next few days. hence, if i hibernate, i might even be saving all those money which can be put to greater entertainment/use/charity at a later date.

hence, i can claim, they really don't understand.

feeling rather perturbed, confused etc. maybe i shldn't be hehe. really, i shldn't be. juz that once again i'm not able to live like wad i want to and wad my selfish self wants to. why? i do not want to be seen as selfish.

which, on the surface, there's nothing wrong. shld i be selfish? no i shldn't. hence, though i am rather selfish, i shld try not to be isn't it? hence, it is not only beneficial to myself to not be selfish, it's beneficial socially. but ppl sae, u shld be urself. then, since i am selfish, am i supposed to "be myself"? HAHA

then again, wad do ppl judge me by? personally i duno. they may see me as screwed, they may see me as fine. i dun mind both. because i agree i am both. but disappointing, everywhere i go, i am not alone. so sad. in any case, for now, let me juz live like there's nth much to do, although there are things to do. heh. switch off for maybe the next 48h in preparation for a lousy gamble.

maybe i shldn't be affording myself such stuff so often...

hence, i am wasting some money for now.

but great training, in terms of concentration.

happy new year.

and may those who seek the happiness find it... haha