if i know upon a strike on the next game, i book a place in the finals, fufufuf....

i probably will shout sth. wad comes out? i not sure. in wad language? i duno. probably not vulgar.

by a simplistic psychological analysis, i reckon i'm really a inferior friend. (the below analysis may be a little sexist, but anw, for the sake of discussion, i shall air it anyway)

here i shall try to, as coherently as possible, describe my means of judgement:

women generally tend to make more "surface" friends than men. take for example a social function, they will engage in much more small talk as compared to men. moreover, they will refrain from openly badmouthing each other when they are in the presence of each other and more people. say, female A and B. A is more socially established than B. when A and B meet, they probably will not say things like "u're ugly/fat/idioitc". conversations more like A tell B "you're cool, that's nice, interesting career!!" even though B is doing a job as a rubbish collector. honestly. this is wad i observed.

i dunno the above-mentioned phenomenon's exact term. but women are less willing to jeopardise their relationship wif each other in a direct manner. they will only backstab each other. for example, using the above example where B has a job as rubbish collector. in front of B, A will never say something back. but when A meets another group of friends who may or may not know about B, A has a high chance of saying B is a cui and is a failure to society etc.

so to say, women will try to appear zai and friendly, while actually they may want to gain that social edge above others. in my opinion.

men are less likely to withhold these comments. assume a guy called D ends up as a  rubbish collector due to failure in sch and C is a male random office worker, who does not have a gd impression of D. when C meets D in a social setting, C most likely will trash talk D like sae hey bro how's rubbish 2day? and maybe say something even more impolite.

that's a little drifting from the point. but anyway, i reckon i may be an inferior friend to women. why? hav many occasions, they start to ignore me. haha. if i were socially desirable, i dun tink they will ignore me. if they dare to ignore me, meaning i am less socially established, and from wad i noe they may juz easily talk a lot of bad about me without my knowledge. u c, females don't usually directly jeopardise relationship with others. since now, women directly jeopardise the relationship between me and her, it means something. and why will a girl resort to direct methods to ignore me, which is as good as telling me "u're a piece of crap"? why will a girl dare to do it? by my analysis, probably cos i'm not socially established, nt desirable to the crowd of ppl that they are looking to impress.

i'm not too surprised. i seem to b associated with socially undesirable personnel more often than not. but, haha, seriously la. if wan play socially desirable and establishment, up to them. all i can sae, my conscience is clear. clear. wan fight? i bring u to police after u whack me. another thing. where's ur confidence? going around wif me, really 见不得人？ up to them to say again. hm.

juz fyi, i dun believe everyone needs to become socially desirable before he/she will get married in a loving relationship. HAHA. up to all ur choices. it's juz that the wedding less ppl attend nia. is that wad women need? attention, great impression, ppl to see u as fren? really? i'm not totally confident. i believe u can live wif less than 10 friends. the rest can be acquaintances for all i care. close friends and a tightly-knit family is probably more important than 1000 useless not-close friends.

quick overview of my downfalls. i don't think it's academics. i don't think it's sports. i don't think it's music. i don't think it's attitude. i don't think there's any great great personality flaw. but, i reckon it's words.

an overview of my downfalls, u can guess wad i'm talking about:

- we are frens
- don't think we can be more than frens
- i won't settle for a friend
- i think it shldn't go on
- u're just not the one
- stop pestering me
- just leave me alone

my best qn. really? really? really?

language. language is but a subset of communication. what i say, may not be what i mean. i say u're a friend, i may mean u're actually a piece of shit. or i can sae u're really shitty, but i'm actually caring about u and giving u advice. when i say it's cold, it may not be the ambient temperature. i may be talking about a person's heart.

rite or not? if words coming out from my mouth is A, i may mean B, and subconsciously my intention is C.

mayb i muz stick religiously to my diode theory. but i do remember that, when the voltage is too high, the current rises disproportionately. and this can cause short circuits. and when the fuse breaks, the only way to do it is to replace with a new fuse. i reckon i have broken the fuse too many times, albeit not due to voltage. it's due to me forcing current by an alternate circuit. haha.

from my knowledge, it is not as often that a girl will initiate a breakup with a guy after >2years of relationship. assume a relationship where they fondle around for long enuff (may or may not include sex), and the guy is also very loving and devoted.

i hypothesise that, for her to initiate break up, den she must hav turned slutty. nid to hav 2 men instead of 1. or go for hotter man. (heck cases of the guy being unfaithful and fking other ladies.) from a psychological point of view, there is strong partnership bonds formed in the brain, and certain chemical triggers which are accustomised to touch and sense and feel with the guy. if she leaves this guy for another guyno.2, she may not be able to fully recreate the sensations and euphoria.

another hypothesis is that, men may be marginally better off in such a breakup, cos i reckon easier to hav the euphoria of love. and for men, it's easier to heck the differences. for women, harder. that's wad i tink. but i hav not enuff psychological reasoning as well as knowledge to back this statement. so if u're feelin kind, u can type sth.

as a commissioned officer of the saf.

but it kips me wondering. i very big meh? i'm still a dog of my boss. haha.

but not every offcier see it this way. some think they are big. like so? big is big. but remember, u know little. so i really despise those ppl (last time, or those holding on to old school thought without new age rationality) who are in training institutes or units who giv others a poor quality experience and time.

i shall try not to be such a person. everyone must maximise the use of their time both in work and in reflection and in play.