i'm feeling rather discouraged and disillusioned. somebody shld save me.

my values are attacked for the 1st time thus far. i wonder am i supposed to change it? the world saes u have to be an asshole to survive. i disagree soundly wif this. i haven't been taught this, although i see this around me. i'm taught that the world shld exist in an ideal state - a state of peace and universal love. so my values is that i shldn't b an asshole.

but 2day, i'm posed wif a differing opinion. and it seem to be telling me, that i making my best effort not to be an asshole, shld turn around and become an asshole to survive competition in the world.

after some consideration, now, i've cleared my mind, i sae no. i will continue and stay firm wif my values. i shldn't become some on-the-surface friend-making, mutli relationship-building, lip-servicing idiot. i shldn't become 见利忘义，狼心狗肺。

maybe wad happened today is retribution. i haven't been nice enough. my best of effort in showing universal love and helping others and doing things is NOT enough. apparently. dun worry. as per normal, i will continue to improve myself. BUT, if the world is not going to see the same way as me, they will continue to see me as bad and radical.

i sae, go on, see me as bad and radical. as of now, i know that i'm making the right decision, i'm not worried. if u wan to mistake me, go on. u can have my life even. i defend my values, i am true to it. if ur value is different, in essence, i tell u, u have no reason to be judging me.

ppl shld go and realise that since our values are different, how we do things will be different, and we CANNOT judge others. we can only help them understand that they are seeing the world this way, and let them realise whether this is the way they want the world to be, and that whether it is the best way to let the world revolve.

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so now we see, the arbitrariness of the world.... hahhahahahhahahahahhahah. u like it? i dun really like it though haha