let's address my hollows then. i shld. now maybe i will feel back to normal after twenty years of 徘徊。

tink about it. maybe i believe that i have lost my place in many ppl. probably i have lost my place. and why i believe that so? because i lack money. i lack the showing of money. because i hav this lack of showing of money and other desirables, ppl hav no point talking to me. so in fact, ppl started to talk to others instead of me. that is natural.

and here, wad is these other desirables? many. in refutation to ytd's comments, i shall say some stuff. money play a big part in deciding your status. butt there is quite a few factors other than money. how about talent? how about genius? how about your mouth and communication skills? how about your empathy? how about your creativity? how about your cool temperament? these are not so directly linked to money. but they do affect ur status. why so? they give you that attractiveness.

attractiveness is not only money. (attractive here as in your probability to forge a good interpersonal relationship wif another person.) all these, talent, creativity, temperament, style affect your attractiveness other than money. of course, the need of money is always an intrinsic thing. you will look for money, or the lack thereof of money, for different intents and purposes. but the thing is these factors can play a bigger role than money in affecting your attractiveness, mainly because ppl judge each other differently.

i may see money of tantamount importance, another may see fine arts talent as a crucial attribute. it is variable. this variable view causes ceteris paribus in comparing ppl impossible. yea. impossible. you can judge ppl in terms of one thing. BUT never in all aspects. hu is a better person? you can never answer this question unless you narrow the scope to one aspect, at max a few aspects.

thus, i shall stop dreaming too much that money is of tantamount importance. and stop 走邪路，而走正路。it's time to destroy the hollow that others are better than me due to certain abilities they have, and return my ability to look up and have pride in who i am.

who am i? i am myself. who are you? u are yourself. conform to what's morally right, reject the morally wrong.