wad's wrong wif life. suddenly i wonder. wasn't it better to go back to once upon a time. everyone going yu. everyone going nel, nelly, nella, ai. heh. now i see why. seriously.

sometimes, maybe it's juz me. i hav a too disgustingly complex view of life. juz like the iodine with starch. they will form this complext which gives a blue-black colouration. when u see life, but it is closed up by the molecules of starch. which is probably fat stuff, fat problems, fat headaches. it gives nonsense. wad u see in front of u probably make no sense at all, try to find solution u find more problem. very very weird. i dun understand sometimes. why must i be preoccupied wif all these unnecessary thoughts. why must i go and ponder ponder ponder. until i turn a little crazy. well ppl talk to me, okok lor. but somehow, i can feel it. why am i tinking more than a 17 year old?

most 17 year old only bother about studies. bother about their cip. bother portfolio. nothing more than that. maybe money. other than that probably not yet. future? most ppl their future are taken care of. due to hc brand. but wad about not only near future. far future? ur job? ur status? ur family? whether u hav wife? whether u hav husband? whether u hav children? whether u can even find a za bor? whether u can even find ta por? whether u can fight against fkin power holders who are losers? hmm. maybe i shldn't scare other ppl. but well. it's the truth.

it's good not to face all these problems 1st. it's good seriously. i always hope i can become innocent again, running at the playground, playing soccer wif muds, supporting man utd like an idiot. why must be opened to all these lame shit problems? now aren't i supposed to juz do wad. study. like a dog? haha well it's the truth. u juz chiong studies for now. that's wad everyone tells u. but is that wad i'm looking for? my studies seem quite ok. problem is. with studies only, i feel as if there is something missing. something missing. i join a few cca. i'm quite packed. but my life still feels as if there is something leftover inside there. to fill up. a void. very weird void. fill it wif studies, not enough. fill it wif fun, maybe for a while. assurance about wadeva comes after death hav already. but there 1 thing lost. for some reason that i'll never understand. and maybe at this point, i shld not bother understanding too. haha.

giv maslow's hierachy of needs a bit of respect and look at it carefully. and u'll see wad i seem to be lacking. i tink it quite refers to the situation of my life now.

but of course everybody, dun be discouraged. look for the simple pleasures of life. makan for me is wonderful enjoyment. i wonder why no one gave me chilli padi for birthday present haha. it's ok. look for cheap entertainment, of course not at the expense of others. dun b an idiot. for example randomly playing games. randomly reading fml. if u ever see it b4. it gives cheap humour. do sth that u will enjoy, that can suddenly take ur mind off problems. or go and 发泄。不管是去厕所或什么地方，偶尔发泄可能对身心有益。不要把问题藏在心里，免得一旦发神经。