today i just ask God that u forgive me for not being able to bear the load so well myself and do what you want to do through me. Lord just pray that your Spirit will strengthen me to rejoice with those who are rejoicing and not let the smaller issue overshadow the greater joy that you are giving to me.

today i m learning... to be thankful even in this situation that i am not getting what i desire.... no surprises from God, and it is not too unexpected. but i m still saddened by this whole thing. i won't lie to anyone. i am saddened. because i never took the chance to do all the right things that God wants to do through me. and understand God's will from His perspective. i didn't. all i am doing is just expecting my own preferences to happen in my life.

Lord i just ask for more grace to be upon me as i continue to live... but let's just say i am sad now, and i believe that you are near to me, and that you heal the broken-hearted. you will heal me in time to come, i believe that. may your Holy Spirit work within me... and Lord i won't lie too that i actually still like her. and i ask that you will one day let her see Your love through my actions, that she may understand that she can demonstrate Your love through her actions too. Lord i thank you for all these that have happened and the things that you have let me see. just ask that you continue to be near me Lord...