i nauseate.

the world... does not know what they're doing. at least it seems to me.

play play, fun fun, that's the only thing on the agenda of people's life. family? maybe. community? who cares. organisation? i'm a small fry. nation? got use meh?

that's their responses. who today gives a fuck about the bigger picture? ppl claim to give "love". what is this love i am seeing? teaching ppl to lose themselves in music, alcohol, money? without actually thinking about real societal growth, societal output?

i am nauseating.

it is really something worth regurgitating to. the ppl at the top... spare little thought for the people working at the lowest income bracket. tell me, which boss bothers about just another worker which earns more than 5x less than his pay?

today we talk about service. service to the community. service to the poor. service to the needy, service to the rich. service to the nation. service to the mankind. i tell u, a big population of such people actually serve THEMSELVES. SELF-SERVING.

fuck you. honestly. fuck all of you. maybe including me. let's admit it, we as humans are selfish. but should we let our human, fallible nature run our bodies and courses of life? fkin hell, take ownership and do something. do something for the people around you. are you feeling them? you see, but you do not observe. we hear, but do not listen. and many a time, we talk but we do not speak and engage in meaningful conversation. it isn't a dialogue and exchange of ideas; it is 2 monologues facing each other.

i am not the best at empathy. but i believe there is a need to make everyone feel like they are part of a family. there must be black sheep present. but for now, i see myself as a fkin black sheep. the rest are white. and white, because they are unwilling to think more than themselves. from all walks of life, all rungs of the ladder. they are fkin unwilling. they do not see it as a point to consider more than their small circle of family and some random friends.

yes, my friends may be random and useless too. but at least we come around and see, dream, and in our small corner execute wad we can to make the lives of ppl better. what we face? bunch of ppl who 无动于衷. they do not see a need. they don't appreciate. when asked, are u doing a better job? honestly. ask ur conscience. at least there's ppl trying, and u're juz watching the show while accruing digits in ur bank account.

yea sure, money. we love possessions. is that the only thing dat we shld crave? blessing on earth comes from above. there's no blessing, more likely than not god noe u can suck it up.

at least i noe myself, i am doing it. loyalty to the big picture, the true picture, the confident picture, the definite picture. rather than loyalty to money, loyalty to pretty girls, loyalty to booze, loyalty to sex, loyalty to k-pop, loyalty to meaninglessness and loyalty to self.

it's a national thing. trust me. from young we are taught, 你读书是为自己的前途美好. why aren't we taught, 你今天读书，未来为社会、 人类有所贡献? in the end, where we need people who are willing to work amicably and in a conciliatory manner, we have ppl sucking balls, fucking each other, backstabbing each other, and trading sexual favours.

hello.