that fkin missed strike really costs a life. it cost pride.

it means, i will end wif fkin no portfolio. nothing. ya, so wad? wad experience? wad self fulfilment? i dun lie to myself - this society is wad? is merit-based. i mean, nearly everywhere is. go die. seriously. i remember, someone ask me. why u not in bowling exco? HAHA. i sae, m si wa eh business. how about my friend who overperform me? he oso not in exco. HAHA. justice isn't done on earth, it need to be earned. the only place where justice is done is heaven, if u dun believe heaven then it is a certain utopian world.

from now on, per spare miss, some form of reminder muz be imposed. no more jokes when training for competing for money.

and i've effectively lost my mood to study for wadeva reason. my mind has become rather irrational for now. ya come, come and sae me. hope that i may become rational again. some people dun noe how to be a human. maybe i'm one of them.

now, i shall go and find 出路 on internet, any okok organisation for their paths for my life, and that i may have an interest in. no more jokes. i shall be a gahmen dog. it works for everyone in s'pore.