我望著六色彩虹貼在想你的天空　缺席的那個顏色就在你迷人笑容
聽說你那裏窗外總是一片灰濛濛　我的咖啡　變得又苦又濃

我想把六色彩虹印在給你的信封　一封封我都寄到叫做牽掛的郵筒
當你無助的時候看著東方的天空　有座橋會跟你相通

我會把六色彩虹通通存在我心中　要灑在下次我們見面共享的甜筒
當想念滋味我都為你嚐過每一種　重逢才更令人感動...

yea... that missing colour...在你迷人的笑容。别人若不想珍惜不必担心。随时我可以珍惜

tink about it. why dun u jump off the wall?

haha.

does she look like she know who she looking for? does she know wad she is looking at? does she know what she is finding? does she know where she wants to head to?

why u bother? fucking hell why bother?

i really wonder at wad i am doing sometimes.

why be so affected. seriously. for what. dumping ethanol down urself doesn't help in anything seriously.

proverbs 31 is what a woman shld strive for.

ephesians 5 is what a couple should strive for.

we live our lives as instructed and commanded by God, not by what world has changed our worldview to.

we actually know little about what the world holds for humans.

but sadly, many humans have used science and other institutionalized knowledge to build their arrogance. they've built up their beliefs based on what they can see. all these empirical stuff.

they have forgotten what is faith. they have forgotten what is love. they have forgotten what can be supernatural. they have forgotten what is God's will.

all these knowledge, have puffed people up so much so that they don't want to see that they are actually limited. they believe they are already in control.

check out the sheer number of people who have little respect for God. the main reason is, at the end of the day twofold - arrogance of their own ability, or a need to justify their sinfulness, or both. simple.

turn back now. see God. have a relationship with God. that's all God needs from you.

recipe for disaster = having children of following birth order: GBB.

once girl not strong, and 2nd child oso as weak, gone case. goot luck to all.

-----------

well, so church camp execution over. sometimes, once again... if no God, u oso wonder where things come from. things look like fall apart, but with God around, things didn't. some would prefer to attribute to human success.

but allow me to sae a bit of discouraging shit: most ppl weren't really capable, and there are capable ones but were tied down wif other commitments. yet, things managed to run. God is not to be fooled i tell u...

when we work for God's glory... u don't mess around with what God wants to do. u can see whether something is done for God's glory one.

but one thing... it is hard to follow wad God wants us to do. really hard... to totally follow. still, let's pray for God's grace and God's strength for us to really put down everything and submit to His will.

maintaining a clean state online doesn't mean u're clean in reality.

if u live by wearing masks everywhere, u shld rethink how u're living ur life. HAHA. at least i dare say i m consistent in my life. if u need to wear a mask, i hope the only mask u wear is those facial mask that help u remove some oil from ur face.

come come.

show me that u can fkin move on to a marriage when u don't even know what is risk management.

fucking hell. HAHA.

whole day smooching around means nothing for one.

whole day posting pictures means nothing.

u watch out. when a better person comes along... then u know what is happening. u are but holding on to a thin thread hoping it doesn't break.

open ur fucking eyes and look longer than the next day. in fact, u dun even fucking know next day u can live or not.

fucking shit.

u could have got all the marks. fkin careless. fkin wasted. idiot. now u gotta bank on some magic. no way, no bloody way. idiot.

call me an idiot, but i believe in not raising the stakes when ppl get attached at 20 years old. 

every time ppl post pic of themselves wif person of opposite sex, i see whole slew of likes. i think, stupid. tell me 10 years later what is the success %, then i may start to support more.

there's no hurry.

most ppl don't really know the magnitude of things they signed up for. they sign up for it thinking it is cool. but after that when they start realising the magnitude of issues, they are taken aback. no matter how prepared some are, in the end they falter after realising this magnitude.

the level i bring in to some issues is high. they thought, wow so fun, some things u do so nice, u wan to know something? come i explain to u. den some of them stunned. they thought the art is so simple, but when i start saying the first line they suddenly come to realise the magnitude.

to be fair, i'd say there's nothing wrong not knowing the magnitude. but there's something wrong with oneself if one signs up for something and realises the magnitude of it, and then one realises one is not cut out for this thing, and chooses to bang the wall and stay in it.

opportunities do arrive. but u hav to be careful. wad opportunity isit? better get one that is commensurate to ur level of competence/equivalent word to use here. don't be a hero, try sth that u not supposed to go and touch (esp those that require u to down level too much or the level is TOO high for u that u can't catch up). confirm goot luck.
\
that's my observation thus far. kiang tio ho, mai gei kiang.

i always wonder whether i'm very good at offending and insulting people.

i wonder.

there are myriad reasons why we would avoid a situation. i wonder is it cos i make some ppl feel like objects around me. i wonder is it cos i make them just a tool for my own ego-boosting.

sometimes, apologising does not make the situation better at all. it's just a facade to make things seem better when the gulf is still there.

bridges cannot be built when the foundation is not ready on either side of the bridge...

i wonder who or what to b disappointed wif.

有時候　有時候
我會相信一切有盡頭
相聚離開　都有時候
沒有甚麼會永垂不朽
可是我　有時候
寧願選擇留戀不放手
等到風景都看透
也許你會陪我　看細水長流

有时候。。。就是会想到当初。。。有必要这么倔强吗？哈哈。。。

有时在乎你的快乐，有时在乎你的心情。有时太过关心时却发觉如果关心，只能距离放长一些。。。发现要关心其实应该不让彼此有恋的机会。。。

为了关怀一个自私的人。。。得让自己感得这么矛盾。。。

有时候真的是在想到底我是不是在浪费自己的时间、精力。

when time is not on the person's side, i am of the opinion that it is not very fun to watch that person bang the wall while learning. it would be beautiful if that person does have a lot of time to find different ways to bang the wall, but i think it sadistic to leave people to bang walls when time is naturally not on their side. hence, i decided to climb the wall.

when you know how to appreciate something or someone, u know how to live with or without that person or that thing.

look, look. i see some ppl send off their family. they look so damn possessive. when the child fly off, they can't separate each other. wtf? if u appreciate each other already, there is no distance no matter how far the physical separation, or even in case of death.

true story.

u may think i'm mad, but this IS the way we hav to behave.

when we turn possessive, problems start to come in. think about it, if we think about owning sth so much, once we can't have that, we are affected adversely. we get obsessed over it. we feel "unbalanced".

but if we accept reality, which is that we can't have everything, and maybe if u take it religiously many things that come into our lives have a greater purpose, then we can put things into perspective. we'd think that, well, some things can't happen, it's fine. some things come to our lives, that's good. and we know how to live with or without these things. we appreciate the fact that this is reality, that we won't own every thing, but yet at the same time we know how to appreciate the stuff.

ok let's focus on the lecture, and i shall elaborate this shit nicer another day if i remember about this.

we are born as humans, we have queer and deviant fetishes. does it mean we act upon them?

i see a girl, i may have certain level of sexual desire. do i act upon that? surely decency tells me not to. i have the right, definitely, to just lose myself to the sexual desire. i can, and some would say i might as well. but do i just do that? nope.

similarly, humans are also born with certain degrees of homosexuality. like a continuum. homo 1 side, hetero 1 side. so i may like a male as a male sometimes. romantically. i may have certain desires to form a long-term loving relationship with him, be sexually fulfilled with the other party of the same sex. but do i do that?

no. why? watch biologically. is that useful to us? animals that behave in homosexuality at the end of the day don't get their genes passed down. so definitely, i wldn't mind laws that allow homosexuality. but naturally, as a clever and discerning selfish animal, i'd sit and watch the homosexuals burn, cos their genes won't be passed down anyways. there are some natural laws in place for a reason. do we need to do some extra implanting so as to get the homosexuals their own children? that sounds mad to me.

as a human wif discernment, should i act as per an animal? definitely not rite. i am given intellect to be able to discern that i shldn't act upon all my animal spirits. i have the ability to understand something called morality, something called decency. i know that i shldn't be poking my penis into a pitcher plant just cos it looks like a good replacement for a vagina. isn't it?

u may say this is crude speaking. but when we act as per animals, that's the level we can go. we just live by impulses. we live without due thinking.

i ever acted upon my animal spirits. at the end of the day, what did i get out of it? i always tell myself, it's still vanity after i acted upon my animal spirits. they claim self-actualization, some claim access to basic rights. i'm like... heh. i rather have my rights and my duty dictated by God than to follow my own animal spirits. i am actually sick of my own animal tendencies, yet when i am not thinking properly, i always drop back there. it's time... let me transcend and see past them.

and let me continue in the struggle against my animal spirits, my weak flesh, and live by the Holy Spirit.

s'pore no time and space to learn and reflect? it's all in the mind.

if ur mind is not receptive, even if i give u the bloody time and space, i give u the best facilitators, as long as your attitude is not to learn and reflect, u wun even do that. u will continue to stagnate nia. simple. HAHA...

即使是某一刻电流为零了，但电容两端电压依然存在，

因为过去曾有电流作用过。

电容能将以往每时每刻电流的作用点点滴滴地记忆下来。

some friends are truer than true.

u may think u have written them off, u think they are mad ppl, u think they are crazy pressurizers, doing things for vested interests.

vested interests aside, if u seek their help, they ARE there for u. wad's more important? the fact that they have vested interests, or the fact that they are there for u? did they expect u to help them back overtly? usually most likely no.

these ppl are there. it's just whether we are frank enough to ourselves to treasure them.

or we can always treat these friends waiting at the sidelines as pieces of shit, immortalize them or devilize them.

so i have dissected the situation.

basically, they are just unable to see the truth. the truth doesn't match their perceptions (dream) so much so that it is too overwhelming. so overwhelming that the only way to get out of this is to avoid it totally.

do i avoid anything in my life? i can't really rmb.

some are overwhelmed by the threat of a looming exam. some aren't. many are overwhelmed by the fear of more people loving them than before. they think that such a love manifests in creepiness.

u're mad i tell u. creepiness or not is but a matter of perception. if u are worried of love, u go think about how weak u are.

as said, love comes and go, love will always be present. if u don't appreciate love, it just shows what sort of person you are.

so in the final analysis, what's wrong?

nothing. nothing is wrong. it's just the perceptions. the perceptions can't seem to be crossing correctly.

你问自己，你怕什么？你犹豫什么？你哪里不安？哈哈。我过分的话我很想讲出来。只是我在三思后，我觉得这种话说不出口。若一旦让你知道，你一定心慌意乱。

there u see the paradox appearing again. why am i giving in? why am i acceding? why am i getting out of the way? for what reason? this, u only can think about it urself.

i'm not going to fight who's greater or what. i mean that's not what we're fighting about. but when it comes back down to earth, u will know what u need to see.

now u're not on earth. now u're in dreamland, as per every person of ur age. dreamland. in fact, may i even call it fantasy. hello, fantasy is a sick place. dreams, it's see if u hav ability to make it true. i can turn it true. i don't want it to be a nightmare. i rather it be a dream that can turn true.

but if u are still in fantasy, hello. stahp.

it is very open ended situation.

who is wrong? i don't think it is about right or wrong anymore.

but it's about whether anyone can find amicable ending.

what's yours? what's mine? we are speaking on different frequencies which are not harmonics.

yes, mayb not pure sine wave, some places got constructive interference.

obviously, there is little effort i see in trying to get the waves to go on harmonics. so what i think is, madness. just madness. so what happened to the start? dead. but nvm, i shuddup. because i know that the more i shuddup it will solve a lot of issues.

but here comes the paradox - when u found that the reason i kip quiet is to defuse the situation, then u will get crazy again. so i wonder how it will end. the fastest way to end if u jump out of this paradox or i disappear forever. the former is facing reality, the latter is a fantasy which is nearly impossible to happen lest i die.

so mayb that seems legit. HAHA

it now makes sense to me why we stay patient.

sometimes the opportunity is not created by us only. it usually takes all the factors to fall into place before we can even catch it. yes, we can create the conditions for opportunity to happen. but although we do this, we must remember that there are some factors that can only be settled by waiting.

the key here is patience. check out which religion doesn't teach u about patience, kindness, forbearance?

爱是恒久忍耐，爱里凡事能盼望，不求自己的益处。all these factors. it's a recurring theme.

it's not about our will. but it's about being able to submit to the higher plan. and waiting for god to work in our lives. so God, that is a true lesson learnt. keep it in my heart.

no matter how bad we think another's decision is, we have to respect their decision as a first cut. we need to respect that they have a reason and a right to make that choice in the first place. let's not talk about correcting/coercing them out of their current choice so quickly.

we ourselves must really come to accept this fact that they can make a decision contrary to our views. they can make a decision that is going to destroy what we think. they can make a decision which polarizes people. we must come to accept this truth.

when we see it in this way, that's where we can love without any vested interests. we need no reciprocation. we need no transaction. we do not need them to understand us, we do not need them to realise what we are thinking.

we love others anyways. now i see why god can command us, love your neighbour as yourself. when we have zero vested interests, that is where we can do so. having said this, we show ppl that they should correct their mistakes (as we perceive), while giving them the space to realise it in faith and in hope. if they do not see the same way as us, once again we have to accept that as that.

i actually wish that i can do something openly: which is to let people view my mistakes before what I market myself as.

this blog is actually a good platform. i wonder how genius i was a few years back. opening up any of the posts, i probably am laughing at what i did just 5 years or 6 years ago.

v interesting. so maybe there wasn't a need to keep a diary to show how much of an idiot i was.

the reason we love, is not to possess or to be possessed.

the reason we love, is not to get to our own selfish desires

the reason we love, is not to use it as a means for another end.

still we are human, we can't run away from our vested interests, our own selfish interests, our own desires. but let's face it - as long as we start to love with an effort of keeping it pure and NOT TRANSACTIONAL, we are on the right track.

why should we cheat ourselves and act like we are saints?

why should we tell ourselves we are already doing so?

why do we act like we are there?

once again, by accepting our human-ness, we need to realise we may be living in a mistake anyways. we may be making mistakes at this very moment, or unknowingly making a mistake for the past few days/months/years of our lives.

we may never have the chance to achieve perfection due to our nature, but still, we strive towards it earnestly while admitting that we would not be there. at least we are near there.

为了爱，我能放下，我能放手。

你想明白不明白是你的问题。我不能控制你。

but honestly, if u can't forgive and move on, there we are once again staring at each other's cock hair. and u seem to love this situation. i don't really know why.

shit happens. fkin hell, suck it up. do u tink we are infallible? and a big issue for u to consider - is ur current reality unbreakable? tink about it seriously instead of waiting for shit to hit the fan.

i hav alr proven, shit WILL hit the fan. and today without facing it, there is the shitty bua feeling. suspicions after suspicion, lack of trust building up, that lack of communication apparent.

there wasn't a need to. alright yes i agree my pride is big, i did not handle it as positively as i can. pardon me. but when was i not speaking the truth?

ok i agree it was intimidating, and i did not speak the most relevant things because i am selfish. but plz lo, u hav to see past it, i hav to see past it. i respect the situation, and i am already facing it. but if u are not intending to respect the reality, then that's it u know.

that's why we get stuck.

as an enlightened person, i will not make that dream that beautiful anymore.

in my search to be an enlightened person, i shall stop doing things for MY benefit. instead, i need to humbly seek God's plan and God's will for my life.

not MY benefit. NOT my greed. NOT my own selfish desires.

i must understand, things are done in God's plan. there are reasons for God's actions. we may not understand it today, but we'll come to know it better by and by.

those are the promises i could give.

those are the promises i wld live by. those are the deals that we settled upon.

yet, they have chosen the greatly lesser choice. they hav chosen such lousily-thought through ideas. they were taken by the poorest pieces of lies. even i lie better.

so if this is your reality, it isn't mine.

i am living in this world. they are but living in a fucking dream. and those who know me, i don't use the word fucking easily out of army.

u wan it to be a fucking dream? i make it the most beautiful one for u. u want that dream to be so beautiful, so beautiful it makes u fucking cry. i tell u. fucking beware.

a person on fire can do a lot of things.

if i go deep fry food too long, it will get burnt.

so what is important is that i give it a nice long warming after a deep fry, instead of let it stay deep-frying for unknown long amount of time!

i hav thus been enlightened. i see the light!!

we are conditioned to think that relationships in this world is transactional in nature - u put in sth, u get sth. WRONG. that is not the basis... sometimes u put in ur life, u get nothing. sometimes u put in nothing, u get alot out of it. did u deserve to be born? hell no. yet u're born. do u deserve the love of ur parents? hell no. we did so many things against them. yet they love us. are we obliged to give back everything? actually, hell no. we just need to do wad we can. and that already completes the cycle. if we don't complete this cycle, everything breaks down, and seems transactional. (some are transactional like rational working relations. that one nothing to say.)

tink about it. 我孝顺，是为了还报父母对我的疼爱吗？想一想，这种付出还得清吗？还不清。你还清我拜你。如果血缘关系还得清，我真的佩服你。and honestly, in the strongest of friendships, also cannot count one. the more u wan to count, the more pek cek u get.

and i haven't even touched on the God part, i can alr write like this.

this proves, we love, because God first loved us. true love can only be achieved in such a situation - the giver giving totally, the receiver having received with open arms, and then understand the motive of the giver.

in my n number of observations, i have realised that many people think that this world is a world of transactional relationships. WRONG. just think about ur family itself. did u deserve to be born in this world? hell no.

there's no such thing (from detached/enlightened perspective) about deserving better and deserving worse. but truth be told, many don't see it this way. they don't know what is God's love, they don't know what is truly unconditional love.

when i love, i try to do it God's way - i give unconditionally. yes, i am human, i may not be perfect, i can't give perfect love, i may look for certain transactional aspects. but truth be told, i try as far as possible not to do this - for what does 计较 bring me? nearly nothing. counting all these small things make us very miserable. but this is nothing.

i tell u wad is most miserable. that is when u give love, and the person does not accept it. i don't care about that person not giving back. like seriously. i don't care. that person just needs to accept it. can u imagine, ur parents make the best stuff for u, and u don't even accept it. how will they feel? they will feel fucked up right?

similarly, because i understood this, and i see how god loves us... my perspective has changed. i don't care about how much i am giving. i just give, and try not to think about the receiving part.

fking trouble is when they don't even accept. these ppl... not sure to be pist, not sure to be patient, not sure to be hopeful.

but if i love them, i shld hope, and hate the lies that are being told, and love the truth as it is.

我不能要求太多，我不能欲望，我不能贪求。

我没有叫你付出。

我知道我的地位，有一天得放下，我明白。

我因爱你，所以会这样的付出。这是爱 - 我让你去选择你所要的幸福。。。

我不叫你为我做什么。如果你真的要我的一份爱，不太难 - 你只要双手空空来接受，我已经足够了。这也是上帝给世人的爱 - 他把独生子赐给世人，将一切接受他儿子的活在他爱当中。

我给的，不是平凡人的爱。我要给的是像上帝的无条件的爱。

我是人；我不是神。我有限，可是我所敢讲的，我敢讲我会尽心去做。若你要相信我，我没有一时想过亏待。

if ur attached self is attached enough, u will know how to detach yourself for the good of everyone.

because, if u are really that attached, u will know that love is about setting people free to choose, instead of setting up obligation traps. obligations aren't necessarily bad, but if one is enlightened, is there a need to have discreet obligations?

男人玩，平时不是乱玩。当然有那种乱玩的人。

我并不是。我一玩，就是玩到底。如果只是试一试，我会讲试。

如果玩竞争，你要小心。

i can see clearly now. wan settle, settle la. wad wan to testing play play wadeva. den sae so. dun act as if wait for ppl to give 1000%. that one dangerous.

now anw even if i give 100% no point la. haha. my 100% can't match ppl 3%. for wad? i juz nid to bide 10 years, and u try.

u try again. u confirm can see difference plz.

but i wun blame myself, i wun blame others oso. this type of thing machiam invest. u invested and then after that the stock market crash u wan blame hu? the investment adviser? knn lo, ur money still disappear ma. similarly, if invest u get great returns, wld u thank many ppl? not many ba. u probably use it to bless ppl near you nia.

真懂得爱，真的会了解体谅，会放下，会放心，会有信心。1 John 4:18 oso say, 爱无惧怕？

that's the point. if i am alr being worried, then wad am i doing? probably it's a self-interested type of giving. which is lame. yup. LAME.

let's stop the monologue here for now.

有些东西不能乱玩，不能乱说。

我相信你知道这事，信任你。不要对不起彼此。

只恐怕你只在敷衍。那。。。gone case man. haha.

no joke. if this type of thing oso wan play... no way man. i wun play it. u tink it's v fun? haha... i dun think so man. so of course i believe u dun think so too.

it's time to stay away from driving my car for a while lest i meet with more road accidents. if u know what i mean.

when accident strike it's a poisson occurence. who know when it happen? i oso duno.

we can do many things as long as we set our heart out to do them.

some things can't be done just by myself sadly.

we have great vision, great dreams, great thoughts. but without people to share this same idea, then at the end of the day only bang wall.

don't be afraid

i am a man.

what i say, i better fulfill.

我從來不敢給妳任何諾言 是因為我知道我們太年輕
妳追求的是一種浪漫 感覺 還是那不必負責任的熱情
心中的話到現在才對妳表明 不知道妳是否會因此而清醒
讓身在遠方的我 不必 為妳擔心

一顆愛 妳的心 時時刻刻為妳轉不停
我的愛 也曾經 深深溫暖妳的心靈
妳和他 之間 是否已經有了真感情
別隱瞞 對我說 別怕我傷心

in my mind plus one. i plus one in u.

but whether there is a resolve... that's not for us to say?

随缘？？你觉得月亮很圆啊？哈哈

无奈

你知道什么是无奈吗？

心里那么多要说的，又不能直接说。。

it's the same thing, at a deeper level.

it's never fun, but because u have more realities than yourself to consider, u know what is the right thing to do.

even if the right thing ends up with you losing, i will hav to sae, totally worth it. it's hard to swallow, but totally worth it.

we hate to b in this situation. who would? haha. but from experience, tho it's stupid it's shit, i can take.

and i will. haha...

today i'm still sane standing here. there are many before me, some sane some not. some have already lost themselves. today i promise i'm in control.

so that u're not gonna deal with the insane.

always.

it always happens.

我寂寞过，沉默过，伤心过，心痛过。

fkin useless. true i know how to cherish what i have.

有用吗？女孩也一样不管。

they only think of their love.

let's face the truth again. there's nothing wrong with that. and there's nothing wrong wif me. it's juz that given current choice they won't fkin budge.

对，我是真心的爱上你。但不代表我一定要追求。

我让你去自由，作你的选择。选择权是你的。我没有任何资格来逼迫你。。。

if there's a problem... u know i m around.

...

就算站在世界的顶端　身边没有人陪伴　又怎样

like seriously. it's never fun. but it never happens to me also. wad to do?

can't do anything oso. 我是痴心人。

他们有的快乐，我必不能拆散。他能给的幸福我不能。

hypothesis

if tmr i try sth and there are results means null hypothesis can be voided. else by expectation it should stand, and i cmi this round. (opp cost short term low, long term is high.)

如果

如果留下多一秒钟 可以减少明天向你的痛 我会愿意放下所有交换任何一丝丝可能的占有

nid a post title.

the ability to choose wad to learn/believe/participate in is important. recently i realise there is an importance in keeping an open mind to wad is impt and shutting it to wad i tink is not useful. this does not mean i dismiss totally; more like i juz KNOW that these things i deem as not useful are there n mayb even giving some time to understand wad's it all about, but i will not engage or believe too much in it. instead i engage in things that i feel are impt.

stupid that fb actually is too public. now i like the fact that this blog not so public. v shiok.

月亮惹的祸

都是你的错 轻易爱上我

让我不知不觉满足被爱的虚荣

都是你的错 你对人的宠 是一种诱惑

都是你的错 在你的眼中

总是藏着让人又爱又怜的蒙胧

都是你的错 你的痴情梦 像一个魔咒

被你爱过还能为谁蠢动

我承认都月亮惹的祸 那样的月色太美你太温柔

才会在刹那之间只想和你一起到白头

我承认都是誓言惹的祸 偏偏似糖如蜜说来最动人

再怎么心如钢铁也成绕指柔

怎样的情生意动 会让两个人拿一生当承诺

a

if we choose not to face up to our reality, den we will not learn.

some rather accept that they are good then get to be better.

but for some, they bloody hav to realise they are a piece of shit then they can start learning.

interesting idea.

the existence of absolute truths may be seen from the fact that whenever someone imposes an absolute truth, people are more likely to follow it than someone who gives out relativistic ideas.

relativistic ideas can't convince people unless there is a certain form of absolute-ness in them.

remaining truly relativistic means that you will tend to allow everyone to think in their own way, and you rather shift your values and behaviour according to what you see. and after some soul-searching you will not be able to answer the qn: who am i? probably u will find urself to b a chameleon, which will take a toll on oneself.

if u search for absolute truths, u will probably end up with much clearer picture of where you're going, what you're doing, and wad u supposed to do, where u come from.

on another note, i seek to keep telling absolute truths as far as possible. i will update and reflect my own truths. but this does not mean i am relativistic - i constantly refine and refresh the absolutes so as to make them very clear that they are "absolute". e.g. greed would breed evil. that's absolute.

but if i do find one absolute at this point of time which has been proven WRONG, then i will gladly dump it. e.g. say from young i believe my father is the biggest authority in this world. that's an absolute to me when i was young; but when i grow old, i find that this is a skewed idea - there are greater authorities than me e.g. gov't, God. so i will change my idea on the biggest authority.

point being i still seek to tell what is absolute truth to me. that way, i create a comparative advantage for myself. i always seek to tell my true feelings.

so nowadays, i shall use a convenient tool - "u wan hear truth or u wan hear lie? i tink i shall juz lie, if not the truth will b phrased in tactless manner". and that is bound to offend ppl. HAHA

云中的月，半清半明

灯下的人，心头意乱

为你我心肝为你我情愿

守你一生护你一世人。。。

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1665659-whos-to-blame-for-tim-duncan-being-underappreciated-tim-duncan

lame shit. honestly. if u duno how to watch basketball, look at talents, shut up. idiots who dowan to watch bball and seriously understand sport, they only know how to look at "flashy" personalities.

i somehow tink the 9gag s'pore community is more mature than the 9gag.com community. 9gag.com ppl may kpkb when ppl reminisce or post nice photography and they're juz looking for some cheap humour and cynicism...

funny. to solve the problem of alternative media, simple la. let it stay alternative.

ppl read it, ppl dun read it. readership will b low. readership low, but still maintain it. den can liao wad.

make big, gahmen control, wad for? which gahmen will allow its ppl to talk cock about it? confirm someone with high confidence.

can s'pore play wif this amount of confidence? obviously no. they nid to protect themselves. of course they will not allow this.

but do they stop mr brown? they never. do they arrest that woman for writing about malay wedding? no.

did they stop chiam see tong? did they stop sylvia? did they stop low tk? no.

they juz dowan useless ppl writing populist crap about s'pore. like those who wanna stir shit from minister pay, race politics and other stuff that would play on ppl's emotion. and i tink that's fair enuff for me.

when i c c look look around, alot of ppl seem to hav alot more social life than me.

but i wonder how much of it is a facade.

let's b clear, i dun go out wif hordes of ppl. i see only about 3-5 ppl regularly nowadays (exclude family n extended family).

but when ppl expose themselves to 10 ppl per day or big fat groups e.g. orientation group, is it meaningful? do they hav much meaningful interaction?

or are they juz filling up some emotional void?

i can only be cynical... HAHA. mayb i shldn't compare.

at least i can confidently say i'm not wasting my time when i meet these few ppl. i hav great interactions with them. so that's a great positive personally...

i wld not mind being this positive/sharing factor in others' life too tho. but i juz feel quite sad that alot of ppl seem to chiong superficial friends at the expense of meaningful ppl.

not everything is of god. some things are of evil. some things are the manifestation of the anti-christ.

it is very clear. does a true christ need to fight? no. true christians with the right God living in them, they are willing to face persecution. they will not back out of persecution, twist words and mess up themselves. if u live by the Spirit, u will not get into trouble with a sound, God-fearing law. if the law is not God-fearing, i dun mind fighting it. but if it has been good, sound, and Christ-like, naturally i shldn't b in trouble. check out many of paul's epistles. full of reminders.

funny. 我有坏习惯，就是喜欢纷争。最近有事情令我反省。有人整天在监视我，想把我打倒，想把我搞得堕落。哈哈。我本来想用华人方式对待他。所谓“君子报仇，十年未晚”。我感觉有所不对劲。

我翻了翻圣经。就看看耶稣怎么对待这种情况。就看看马太福音 5：38 至48 -

- 你们听见有话说，以眼还眼，以牙还牙。 
5:39 
- 只是我告诉你们，不要与恶人作对。有人打你的右脸，连左脸也转过来由他打。 
5:40 
- 有人想要告你，要拿你的里衣，连外衣也由他拿去。 
5:41 
- 有人强逼你走一里路，你就同他走二里。 
5:42 
- 有求你的，就给他。有向你借货的，不可推辞。 
5:43 
- 你们听见有话说，当爱你的邻舍，恨你的仇敌。 
5:44 
- 只是我告诉你们，要爱你们的仇敌。为那逼迫你们的祷告。 
5:45 
- 这样，就可以作你们天父的儿子。因为他叫日头照好人，也照歹人，降雨给义人，也给不义的人。 
5:46 
- 你们若单爱那爱你们的人。有什么赏赐呢。就是税吏不也是这样行麽。 
5:47 
- 你们若单请你弟兄的安，比人有什么长处呢。就是外邦人不也是这样行麽。 
5:48 
- 所以你们要完全，像你们的天父完全一样。 

超有道理。

check it out...

so why have i been fighting? like honestly. if i resort to violence, i am not reflecting what God is. i am merely living out my carnal wants, my carnal aggression, i am living out my ego. is this the right thing? i rather be guided by the spirit. 

the Spirit. check out the fruit of the Spirit: Galatians 5:22-23. the Spirit and the flesh struggle against each other. ultimately, i rather trust God, and be guided by Him through the Spirit than be guided by my own wants.

Also, the critics need to provide an acceptable, objective moral standard by which they can criticize biblical morality.  It is one thing to complain.  It is another to offer a justification for the validity of the complaint.  By what right and by what objective ethical standard do the critics offer moral condemnation against Biblical morals?  This is a serious question that if not answered by the critics, renders the critics’ complaints moot.  After all, you must first have a standard against which to measure good and bad and without a standard, no complaints can be legitimately offered.

quoted from carm.org

never mention stuff that u probably hav not much interest to try to someone driving a car when u're sitting inside it as a passenger.

chances are he may juz show u another dimension of good stuff.

i've been kaypohing the site rgding dr jiajia and family. i am seriously damn disturbed. why is the family allowing the whole of s'pore giv encouragement to the dyslexic kid? like seriously? mayb i'm a little over-sensitive here, but it does not make sense for the whole of the nation to sae the daughter and son v cute and stuff. it's too damn inappropriate.

sometimes it's hard to believe that other ppl are better off when u are obviously a greater choice.

greater as in the opposite of lesser.

there are many ppl who are lesser, but are materially and intangibly better off. hmm.

as a citizen of this ctry, i work for govt.

i don't oppose gov't unless they are going to screw up sth big like they start to use torture in their labour laws.

i see the noisy online community, all they want is to do what? they want their voice to b heard. they want to make changes. hello, u tink u tell gov't 1 thing they must listen to u? how about no.

totally. do u know what are the consideration gov't muz go thru b4 they can accede to ur request? i don't think u care about that. u only wan gov't to do sth for u. fkin selfish bastard.

ya, gov't may b really cui. but u sit down here tell them do this that got wad fkin use? no fkin use.

ya, i feeel the effect of inflation. i feel the effect of useless gov't income (e.g. ERP, rent increase for no reason).

but wad i do? sit down and rally for "rights", for "prices to go down"? no duh.

ya, i know the leader of the movement doing sth. so good for u. but if u oso nato, then fuck u.

at least on my part i try to make a difference. i make a difference amongst ppl who know me, and i am actively trying to expand my sphere of influence so that gov't will b affected when i say sth.

how about u? are u trying to make a difference, or juz trying to get the online noisy ppl to agree wif u? they agree wif u shiok only.

what i do when i make a difference, confirm will b more shiok at end of day.

today, antichrist does not manifest himself as some joke superstition, easily thrown into the dustbin and dismissed.

today, the antichrist rather manifest himself as an intellectual, seeking to enlighten people from prejudices, traditions, binding laws and stuff. actually antichrist himself is juz spreading his agenda.

antichrist seeks to bring ppl away from god. last time tactic fail liao, now become smart. cos ppl now smarter, dowan believe guanyinma liao. dowan believe strike toto liao.

they believe in knowledge. they believe in money, investments. authority over others. antichrist now smart, use all these to control ppl.

wadeva that is against god and the laws set by god, high chance the root is not juz that human/humans themselves. high chance there is a force behind all these stuff. and i tell u, that force might as well b antichrist.

today, antichrist like to play game. he play play. u c, the force makes ppl sae stuff like: wa, y u christian? oppress other ppl. hey, y u christian? u believe other ppl will go hell lei, y u believe in such a god? antichrist play things like, do u tink there is heaven? wad makes u tink there is only 1 way to heaven? u mean that guy so nice, so gentle, so kind, he will go hell juz cos u dun believe?

then they wan play the homo thing oso. wa, antichrist wan play this oso. best thing to play. why u tink homo is wrong? y nowadays all the gov't is suppressing homo? y persecute them? wa, how can, u suppress minority rights? wa, y ur moral is absolute?

ah yes, y ur moral is absolute?

antichrist, u play a game, but the game u play is against god. u tink god will lose? haha. i chop off my head if god lose.

god has already won over sin 2k year ago. u still try to perpetuate the idea of not following god and cause more ppl to go to hell. repent, there is still time. there is still time for us to seek forgiveness for our sins.

u tink i'm here selling koyok? ain't nobody got time for that. i only hav time to save ur soul from eternity wif the anti-christ. god is in control. follow his laws today, and u will not hav to be damned eternally.

not bad... taken from carm.org

Abandon - Anything that hinders your true worship of God

1. Religiosity
   1. Going to church for the sake of going to church.
   2. Trusting in your denomination rather than Christ.
   3. Trusting in doctrine instead of Christ.
2. the reverent trust in anything other than God
   1. cars, money, job security, self, etc.
3. Pride -- to exalt yourself.
4. Stubbornness -- to keep yourself right.
5. Harboring resentment -- to justify yourself.
6. Quenching the Spirit of God.
7. How do you overcome those things?
   1. Through Jesus!!!
   2. Prayer !!!
   3. Listen to the call of the Spirit
      1. Become sensitive to the things of God.

it takes faith to hav courage and courage to hav faith.

on a sadistic note i like to thank the world for fulfilling the prophecies of the end-times. so i'm wondering, i'm supposed to speed it up so that end of the world come, or shld i b doing something like saving everyone? haha...

it's time to ask a question.

assume there are kleptomaniacs who work in a robin hood style: these ppl hav perfect knowledge on others' financial status. so these kleptomaniacs they will only steal from the rich, and they will pass on these possessions to those who are poor. they are compulsively and constantly doing this.

should we persecute them?

is stealing wrong? is stealing to help the poor wrong? is stealing the rich (with little monetary dmg) to help the poor wrong? e.g. the kleptomaniac steals $100 daily from a person of $1billion net worth and continuing to earn tens of thousands per day (without the rich man's knowledge) to help 5 homeless ppl.

should we grant these kleptomaniac the rights? maybe?

----

to me same situation as those who are homo. think about it, the homosexuals or LGBT ppl, wad they wan? equality, being recognised as normal under the law. i.e. they can start their families, recognised as legitimate married couples. does it affect ppl? mayb not. possibly not.

so we should grant these ppl rights? maybe?

ok, wad's the root here? LGBT love their own kind, kleptomaniac love to steal. assume we accept them.

then lidat, i.e. time to put it this way. today i suddenly hav a great love for having sex with a dolphin. i go find dolphin for sex regularly and find great affection (and sexual attraction) to dolphins. i find little attraction to men and women.

should i be accepted by society? the hindus i believe (the more deviant type) still practice some amount of zoophilia. so i shld b accepted too isn't it?

in any culture, there will b a certain amt of discrimination. and i personally shall not spend any effort to force ppl to not discriminate. let's face it: ang moh now tink they v enlightened, accepting gays and stuff. accepting ideas and stuff. so they discriminate hu? they discriminate against ppl who hav religious beliefs. they tink these religious ppl are stupid for having those beliefs which make the religious publicly speak against wad they are doing. are they really 0 discrimination? i dun tink so.

back here, i see that the better POV to adopt is everyone hold their views and live wif it. forcing ppl to change views, u tink publicly forcing them will work? it won't. when ppl start to REALISE that oppressing ppl does no real good, den that's where they will understand. the status quo looks quite lidat to me. y ppl wan to make an issue?

it's like today i go ur house sae, i love ur mother and wanna hav sex wif her, but u tell me cannot, den i tell u, hey i actually love her. i'm a milf, and i'm proud of it. and society shld not b ashamed of me.

i slowly see the light on who is bigoted. so i see see dictionary, bigot si jit lang utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief or opinion.

so let's sae i uphold my belief A. someone come over tell me, "wa le si lang tao bigot y u believe such a god which set out this kind of moral laws that oppress ppl?"

haha... le kua le kua. so wad did i do? i share a belief with u. den someone come over tell me gina belief so oppressive. let's bring it to fundamentals: who set moral law? human or upstairs? secular want write their own moral laws, go ahead la y muz try convince ppl? HAHA

i telling u, the one who set moral laws in place is God. listen, and communicate, and fill urself with God. if not, carry on fighting. u can call me upholding views bigoted, but ur inability to accept the true christianity will be ur bigotry.

come come boys.

who's the bigot? the ppl who sae that christians and religious ppl shld not be against gay marriage and rights?

or isit those fkin equality-wanters who want marriage equality for LGBT?

lets see. these equality ppl, they are calling my beliefs backward, bigoted, self-serving. eh. how about themselves? let's ask the qn: who decides wad is morality?

den i tell u a secret, who is the one devoid of morality? to u, morality can be eaten.

my answer is morality is dictated by upstairs.

u are listening to urself, u are listening to the world. and i tell u, nothing good can come of the world. wad hav they done? make more money? was that good?

did they solve the problem of hunger? fuck no.

i can help u solve the problem of hunger. i can't solve physical hunger, but i hav the fkin obvious panacea to spiritual and psychological hunger.

u dowan it, fine. but u shld do everyone a favour by not spreading ur twisted morality around. HAHA

wow! they calling for repeal of 377a!

YES! time to fuck people in the ass!!!

man and woman alike, i wanna find them, and get it in their asses!

allowed what? isn't it? i love man, i love woman. i hav sexual tendencies for man and woman.

on top of that, i actually like the sex toys, i also like the bed, or mayb even the park bench with gaps in between.

i can't control this sexual urge...

and i actually hav a emotional connection towards these things.

so i wan to marry all of them. all of them!!

haha.

call for repeal of 377a? so u tink u're doing a job for humanity? mayb. show me how much humanity is there first. prove it to me. if not, stop leading people to adopt stuff other than conventional heterosexuality

20 For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:

21 Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.

22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.

seeing too many of us being in v21 and v23. using a humanistic approach to view god, then we tink that god is that lovey-dovey saviour, able to tolerate people who can't keep his commandments. is that god? is that my god? i dun tink so. (to b accurate god will forgive only when u repent. he wun forgive for fun)

then ppl will come to me and sae wa ur god kill ppl, how he all-loving? then i tell u, talk doctrine, and u will know. how about sin (also human who sin) are separate from god, and sin must b punished because god is just? hello, so lovey-dovey more impt than punishing sin. i see... but i tell u sth lei. u're not god.

u can't choose how to be with god and u can't choose how god behaves. humans are here and made by god to glorify god and not to gei gao that god is being a despot (if u see the beginning, basically humans are as good as god's chess pieces - u submit ur life to god, u hav limited say). fact is, thanks to rampant marketing and/or controls by wayward communities, the wrong (mayb half-truth) picture of god is being spread.

far too physical, far too many fouls due to bad decisions.

wad the crap.

juz when i thought the hustling was good. ya, was good hustling, but bad fouling.

not worth it.

so i shall take my friends advice: let's juz hustle upon left with 3 balls to play. else i shld juz relax. and mayb even lose 1 game 1st.

i'm seeing humans trying to outsmart god everywhere. using humanistic values to measure god is about quite meaningless. machiam taking a HPLC machine to measure absorbance of insoluble salt.

Håland is often remembered for his feud with Roy Keane. In September 1997, when Manchester United were losing 1-0 to Håland's Leeds United at Elland Road, Keane injured his anterior cruciate ligament. As Keane lay prone on the ground, Håland criticised Keane for an attempted foul and suggested that he was feigning injury to avoid punishment. Keane was booked as he was stretchered off the field. He was out of action for nearly a year afterwards, missing the remainder of the 1997-98 season.

Three and a half years later, in April 2001, Keane fouled Håland, high up on his right knee. Initially, Keane was simply fined £5,000 and received a three-match ban. However, in his biography he admitted that he wanted to "hurt" Håland as revenge for the criticism he received years previously. After this revelation, Keane found himself subject to an FA inquiry and received an additional five game ban, and £150,000 fine. 

- taken from wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alf_Inge_Haaland

and keane's admission: I'd waited long enough. I fucking hit him hard. The ball was there (I think). Take that you cunt. And don't ever stand over me sneering about fake injuries.

and that's how my sport philosophy come about. u play sport, get ready to see dirty.

sport is something played by humans, not by saints. we humans love dirty tricks. we humans love to outright break the rules and the law.

selffar kids are selfish.

so what if u get into public service? u dun serve the public wif ur heart. u serve it when they giv u money.

many ppl are like this. money drives them.

MONEY is the INCENTIVE.

how about rewire urself to think otherwise?

if i lose to a ruthless winner, it's only time for me to work harder. if i lose to a loser who wins dirty and who puts my life in danger, it's time for me to quit the game. why i gonna perpetuate and accept his dominance? i giv him no face. funnily enuff this happens much in com games HAHA.

sometimes there are some ppl who hav a lack of understanding for some of the established institutions e.g. a company, an organised sport, or even secret society.

my POV is, if u dun hav wad it takes, or if u think u dun hav wad it takes, don't join.

fkin don't join and complain why is it not up to my thinking? that's y i din sign on.

i do not hav wad it takes to wait for instruction and let my brain rot.

if u tink u hav wad it takes n u join, and u find that u don't, why not quit oso? rather than staying in and b miserable cos u can't perform or u are being unfairly treated?

if u stay on, be prepared to "can't perform" and be "unfairly treated". that's why i continue to play sport, because i can take the fact that i can't perform and i am treated not as fairly or highly as others. because i take it not as a career, i take it as a leisure.

if u want everyting, dun b lame. dun b a kid.

it's a funny feeling.

recently on secular level, i pride myself on a restraint game. (not sex restraint game like mohandas ghandi)

i tend to believe that ur ability to not rely on technology (internet-wise) including 3G wadsapp and stuff is a good thing. so i still try to live a life trying to isolate myself from all these messaging as far as possible, and all the skype and facetime and shit.

but it's funny. when i really nid to use these messaging/talking methods i can't take it.

it juz feels so... out of place. like theres nothing to talk on facetime. HAHA...

messaging still fine. but the skype/facetime... really out of place. no idea.

i tell u satan. get thee out of here.

absolute moral values slowly being diluted.

u hello, u listen gd.

wad is revealed, thou shall not change it. neither should you heck it. neither should u twist it.

dat's wad u love to do. twist ideas. we humans love to twist ideas for our own purpose.

i state 1st. i tell u, i dun giv a shit about u LBGT or LGBT. the fact that i hav no bother about how the letter is arranged is cos i dun even think it is supposed to b accepted. from a religious point of view, it shall never be accepted to be acceptable practice.

but i tell u sth. i tolerate. reason for tolerance? i ask u this qn. do u tink i am a sinner? fk yes. all humans hav sin, and we come short of the glory of god.

it is this reason, coupled with the fact that i know that it is revealed the being homo is bad, being queer is bad, that i am bringing ppl back to the right way. and today, the right way is not anyone's way. it's not o, u are gay? let me giv u pat on the back.

no. it's, u are gay? today is ur day u turn it around, and follow what god has revealed to us.

geddit? it's not i'm here to say, gay shall be slain by human hands. i did not say that.

wadeva secular world does, mayb wrong mayb right. wadeva they wan do, they do.

for me, i do what is revealed. disclaimer: the spirit is willing, but the flesh weak. i may still fk it up sometimes. but at least i try.

u only trying to twisting ideas. gd try, and let's see wad happens next time. stop twisting, and listen to the instruction of god: the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge.

when we are older we tend to compromise on our values much less.

but it is getting important for me to understand people of other view points.

who am i to say other ppl is definitely wrong? from a religious point of view, i can say certain things quite absolutely, some others may still b debatable.

but definitely, play it safe method is given: that once u follow the commandments of god, it's quite safe. some ppl can't folo, cos they tink if follow i.e. cannot wear wad clothes made of 2 type of fabric n stuff.

these ppl are juz proving their ignorance in their own ignorance. i probably can find the answer, and i've found it on internet. but explaining to each and everyone of them... i hope they can go to any true church (god-fearing and obeying ones) and look it up themselves.

obtained from private sources.

===============

It has been brought to the school's attention that the people behind the facebook page 'HCI Confession' have been very irresponsible in allowing posts that are inappropriate to be published on the page.

As the page carries the name of the school, and uses the school façade as the 'wallpaper', users should bear in mind that what is being posted directly affects the image of students of Hwa Chong and also demonstrates the level of maturity of Hwa Chong students.

Despite efforts to get in contact with the owners of the page, whom have chosen to ignore the school's prior request to communicate openly, the people behind the page (who are very likely current Hwa Chong students) have instead 'stepped up' the flow of inappropriate content posted on the page, drawing attention of users (many of whom are members of the public) into reading about the lack of school spirit and school pride, such as:
- non-constructively questioning school policies and programmes
- making fun of students and teachers by posting slanderous content (a.k.a. cyber bullying)
- instigating hate and disharmony within the school population by criticizing various student bodies/CCAs

The bane of social media is that you can hide behind a computer screen and post whatever you like. If you are one of the people behind all these, we are terribly ashamed of you.

To the people behind the page, while the posts may not originate from you, the fact that you do not even think about the consequences of allowing those posts to be viewed publicly shows that you are worse than the trolls themselves. You may think that it is funny and entertaining, it is a way to build up the Hwa Chong community, but you've got it all wrong. What you have done is to put the school in jeopardy of being a mockery amongst the educational institutions in Singapore. Who knows what others might think of Hwa Chong students when they criticize about the very school they are receiving their education from, or allow their school to be criticized in an open manner? Talk about 饮水思源.

To the rest of you. If you are a responsible and proud student of Hwa Chong, I have a few suggestions on what you can do:
- Unlike the page
- Unlike all the posts you have previously 'liked' on it
- Remove or do not comment anymore on the posts put up on it
- Encourage the people who have grievances about the school to speak to any of the school leaders
- Share this with your friends

The fad will probably tide down after a while (just like Gangnam Style, or Harlem Shake, etc.), but what is put up online, will stay online forever. What is done, cannot be undone. Hence, please be wise - we did not go through all the education on cyberwellness just to see our own students embarrassing themselves with their behavior online.

To the few individuals behind the page, you ought to be very, very ashamed of what you have done. You may not feel remorseful right now, but perhaps one day, down the road, when you are a victim of online trolling, or cyberbullying, you will understand.

By the way, it's Founder's Day today (21 March). Take pride in being a 华中子弟.

Regards,
Mr Tan
PC/Student Development

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definitely i understand the need to prop up self as something better than any others.

we advertise ourselves. create an image of ourselves. brand ourselves.

but pardon my antipathy for ppl who can't ditch that in exchange for a strong team.

in a team, every individual contributes so that in the end, the team achieves more than what every individual would have achieved by themselves combined.

i'm disgusted that, though having interacted wif certain ppl, they will still claim credit about that increase in achievement instead of at least acknowledging the effect of team.

they are living in their own egos. for wad?

if u dun think that u achieve more in a team, fuck off. find ur own team. build ur own team. else go b a lone ranger.

think about it, ranger training is team training. in addition, there is a training TEAM to train rangers.

u learn through a team more effectively.

i am free within my limits.

i juz gotta say this again.

we humans love to flout rules. but that's where we get trapped: when we flout rules and try to make circles and get out of it.

we are trapped, because we nid to continue in these circles round the rules.

i giv u suggestion: stay within the rules and do anything u wan. when u get to the rule controller position, control the rules. instead of trying to bend until u can get wad u wan.

the lack of failure, or the lack of tolerance of failure, is gonna b the downfall of s'pore.

our first leaders grew through hard times. they fought for independence, they fought against instability, they used strong-man means to get here.

today, our 2nd and 3rd gen leaders know no shit.

they are thriving upon previously built bedrocks, executing bureaucracy after bureaucracy.

there's no true efficiency, no "moral" good they are workign to. they are juz trying to "fit in" with where the money comes. ang moh good, because democracy; here adopt democracy throw away strong-man mentality. china a lot money, make alot business deal with them.

other country wan make money here? easy. allow foreigner come in here to work for other country firm cos their labour cheaper.

wad happen to identity? kena dilution.

this, nvm. but after the ppl know how to speak up, is gov't waking up, or are they still unwilling to "give up" on external ppl? 崇洋 they say. i say cocksuckers.

if u hav been through true hardship u know that u can learn more from the weak than the powerful. how hard are some of our ministers' life? some were scholars, leading the untested life. they were born to well-to-do families or at least families that were willing to let them pursue academics, they held on to scholarships, served in public institutions as LEADERS, or so-called "leaders", worked hard being YES-MEN, and poof, they became a minister.

was that a hard life? no.

today, they earn probably $200k a year? possibly more. i'm not too sure the exact figure, but nvm. how they will understand someone getting $20k a year? no way i'd sae. how to get them to understand and know them?

from unreliable (but to me believable) provenances, wad i know is that all minister in the cabinet supposed to clock time on ground before going on to hard policies. so? they take their time on the ground as masak masak.

take for example my dear SAF generals who switch over. (i'm juz giving a normal example, cos i din do a full understanding of their lives; it can be juz stereotype. read at ur own risk) SAF scholars. what do they see? if they are army, mayb still got in touch wif men when they are platoon commander. once after that, u can tell which one is a scholar OC, and which one is a farmer OC. which one is a scholar comd, or a farmer comd.

i tell a story of difference between scholar and farmer comd. farmer comd was when i juz post in. farmer comd din bother about the R&D of the unit as long as all the products and KPI are satisfied, and a considerably high standard of unit proficiency was achieved.

scholar comd once post in wad happen? talk cock about all the soldier fundamentals and PT. (i.e. wad happen is my chaokeng men once had great times to pcc but now no more chance to chao keng under his scheme) sae wad muz run every mon wed fri, muz closely monitor, less chaokeng, IPPT muz all pass. admin muz gd. wut? yes, he was doing the "RIGHT" thing. but did he fulfill more KPI? i daringly sae no. he was juz a ball squeezer cos of his scholar mentality: he din see how hard life was for any other person. i admit, it isn't difficult to b a man. but how about, it's a toll to someone who is a normal soldier. AND THEY NEVER GET TO UNDERSTAND THIS TOLL OF BEING JUZ ANOTHER PERSON.

cos they only know how isit like to live a path paved for them. the scholar path is laced with dolce and gabanna, red carpets.

and because of this, they think that a man wanted to end up like a man.

when they and any other scholars bring this into the gov't (SAF scholars worst from my cursory analysis because there's a hierachy system in promotion so it adds to the fact that the "top" will not understand wad the bottom actually feels; there's no need to "feel" the bottom if u wanna rise. u juz nid fulfill KPI), that's where all the insensitivity comes. they fail to see the need to understand bottom and at least empathize as a leader. let's sae at least giv a fuck about the bottom. they giv zero fucks about the bottom from wad we can (cursorily) see.

today i state sth. and when lao die sae sth, lao die usually means it.

if i become a scholar, i shall b a game changer. that scholar who does not seek to fulfill KPI and bare minimum and juz hav fun after that. i shall become a leader in my field who work for more than a myopic good. i shall try to contribute to greater good according to my standards (which may include wiping out useless fun at my workplace HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA and replacing it with great thought).

if i become a leader, i shall be different. not for the sake of being different. but to deviate from the CURRENT norm of being so focused, so so absorbed by stupid, useless KPIs and bureaucracy.

this is my vision. a vision for a more thinking community 1st. hopefully, a better vision for the society and anything bigger scale than that.

we stand up for what is right and contribute to sth more than selfishness and carnal wants. stop conforming to useless societal realities. let's do it.

i may disagree with much of the governance that i am living under.

but that doesn't mean i should show total disrespect.

their decisions are made out of their own worldview and some can be self-serving. but that's their reality. they think they are doing it right, but actually they're fucking it up. but i can't juz giv sweeping statement and fuck all of them. no point one. they wun see their problems anw. they will juz jail me.

i believe in governance, that the gov't shld do something that benefit the citizens they are in control of.

sadly, idk who is stronk enuff to take up the job and not end up in any snares. or someone who would actually stay long enough in power and lead with integrity and be able to implement long-lasting positive changes.

mayb a dictatorship wld make sense.

u know why, u know why u can't do drills under the sun? because u r WEAK!!! FUCKING WEAK I TELL U!!!

i remember the voice and the rough timing which the lao jiao WO shouted that at cadets haha... i like it. cos i can do drills.

but let me juz say sth in that same voice.

u know why u are scared of being judged? because u r WEAK!!! FUCKING WEAK I TELL U!!!

yes. when u perceive urself as insecure, weak, small, nothing, u mind ppl talking about u.

if u're sure about wad shit u doing, u probably wldn't mind. u may spend the effort trying to fight the claims and judgements of u, but u wldn't giv half a shit about it.

when adversity comes, i tend to do something.

it's not believe in self. not harming self. not taking it out on others. that isn't my main consideration, although i admit to doing this subconsciously.

i tend to trust god.

there's nothing much u can do, than to admit god is in control.

when we do this, we see the light. and then we know how to react thereafter.

the bible says, pray and u will receive the desires of our heart. let me juz add the disclaimer.

what is the desires of our heart? it should be god, god as the end, as our desire. the end of man, is about glorifying god. we pray the desire of our heart = pray for god's will be done. then u will receive it.

mayb it's the fact that i know god is in control, hence i heck reputation as far as possible consciously. subconsciously i still hav my egotistic ways. sadly. i'm human anyway.

i tink this is neater n cleaner bah.

if morality is defined by humans i will start to kill people now. many things once unacceptable are now acceptable. i tink killing people is oso acceptable. HAHA.

in retrospect, i shld sae sth.

some ppl are evil, hence they do good because they are evil. in a sense, they are evil inside. but to bluff themselves that they are actually "good" so as to fit in with society, they choose to b good. but they do it with mayb not sae evil to b fair, but self-centred motives. yes, that in itself mayb still ok. but some of these do good ppl. u can see from their lives are they really for the cause whole-heartedly? go to somewhere help ppl, den cleanse soul, afterwards u see them at a club spending money, or demanding from their husbands more money to live a materialistic lifestyle.

some ppl are good in their heart, yet they do evil. mayb it's cos, they are good, but they see too much evil about them. and they can't take it. hence they do the robin hood justice: they speak evil and do evil against evil ppl. they want to eradicate evil by themselves instead of letting nature kill off evil. that isn't the recommended way oso. because we know that the evil they will hav nothing good in store for them. no point juz opposing evil by ourselves.

sad to sae, no one bothers la.

naturally we live with a little cognitive dissonance and hyporcrisy in our lives and in our thoughts.

but i can't stand it when there are ppl who live in a dichotomy between their thoughts and acts.

esp i see, the act is evil, but deep inside that person values the so to sae "altruistic", thinks for society and works for greater good. these ppl may go ahead to put ppl down, never volunteer, first to leave where they are usually seen. but behind everyone's back they care for the family, live a simple life, treasure people close to him, and secretly do volunteer work. what for?

similarly i see alot of ppl they do a lot of good deeds but deep inside they are working for themselves. they love to help ppl actively, donate, do "good", stay as holy as possible. however, when out of "general public's" observation, they become 奢侈, childish, selfish, caring about their own interests. what for?

we shld try to live in a way where thoughts and deeds are nicely aligned. at least make an effort. to say, secretly caring with no one knowing is useless; secretly selfish while being openly altruistic is basically living life like Pharisee.

alot of ppl rebel for the sake of rebelling. wad's the use in rebel? leads nowhere. wad we can try to do is to contribute positively and think from others' perspectives. destructive thinking is destroying our mindset. is the cheap thrill in tearing someone else's argument apart so great? definitely it is. many go for it. but wad's the greater use in the end? nothing. say we are really oppressed. have u ever thought, instead of seeing u r oppressed, think about y someone wants to oppress u. does he have a reason, however lame it is? and why did he come up with such a reason for the oppression? only then, can we contribute positively. if not, we'll end up in the situation where 2 cows play piano to each other.

as far as possible when i disagree i try to have some proposed alternatives. these alternatives are meant to contribute positively to the status quo and hopefully bring about a positive change, than an overhaul which can prove destructive anyways.

have u oppressed someone before? if u have, then u can empathize better than me. cos i dun rmb oppressing someone overtly.

if u hav, u probably have ideas to break out of this bad mentality. and i dun think it is when a whole heard of ppl u've oppressed come rebelling back at u that u change.

i'm quite irritated by an irritating mentality.

there's this niggering mentality in s'poreans. whenever someone rly wan to do some politically correct stuff for their own future, they only get bugged down. same if that person is rly altruistic, he/she gets shot.

dafug?

if someone goes with the "societal correct" trend, e.g. help ppl, do something gd, work for gov't, what's wrong? totally. so u mean it's only right to sit on reserved seats, talk loudly on phones, to show that u are "cool", and it is wrong not to dye ur hair into a nice colour? and it is wrong not to have pre-marital sex?

and everyting else that is "morally/societally correct" is not to b condoned?

i'm seeing quite alot of this attitude. and i tink, many ppl above age 21 are still immature.

pardon my immaturity if i am. but this is what i c.

saw a v long cny msg sent by few ppl. haha... i realised those idioms were actually repeated so that they can form a long long snake... twas better if i din actually read whole thing and assumed the idioms were actually so numerous HAHA

the people in s'pore willing to declare that sex is more than a commodity... probably i can count it on my fingers.

dun act around me. who dares openly tell off ppl who tell u that we shld seek sex like freebie? near 0. honestly. i've made my stand tho.

but he that hath ears, let him hear.

who bothers? i'm sure at this point of time many are enjoying themselves in pre-marital sex, fondling, heavily petting in beautiful positions. mayb even homosexual wise. orgies.

yummy.

forbidden fruit is sweet.

many can't run away from it. we juz love forbidden fruit.

look at scandinavian side. or even american or european. high birth rate for developed country. but why? there can b even more than 50% children born outside of wedlock due to gov't policies that encourage children to b born even outside of wedlock.

but i tell u, that's because u r weak. humans r weak.

if u're strong, n more discerning... u noe wad to follow.

u can sae this is stupid, but look at how the population grew in the first place.

i noe the standard counter-argument gonna b time change so how our morals muz change too.

up to u. u compromise. i choose not to and i choose to b seen as an idiot (or in the future oso can.)

i may not fully agree with the white paper.

but i'm telling, there's no fkin use brooding over it. and my blood is boiling after seeing most s'poreans become super turned off because of one reason - gov't loves foreigners.

yes, gov't loves foreigners, and i feel the dissent. i agree with the dissent. we love ang moh. we have been 崇洋 since the bloody start. i tell u, as a s'porean, do u support dick lee and stefanie sun and jj lee?

fuck u, no. u're s'porean, and u tell gov't not to love foreigners when u hate ur own kind, esp jj lee?

how they gov't not love foreigners when obviously most s'poreans love foreigners?

s'pore quality is bad. SO? ARE U MAKING AN EFFORT TO IMPROVE UR FKIN QUALITY?

don't talk about nation-wise lei. talk about urself.

are u making an effort? say u are. and then u complain cos ang moh kena chosen. SO?

SO? so u're gonna cry. totally, we need less of these fkin losers.

and s'porean (at least of my gen) grow up with this loser mentality. u score badly, die alr. u did badly, die alr. every single fuck shit die alr.

how about, u kena beaten by ang moh, u fkin set up ur own firm and make it bigger than ang moh wif a s'porean name. AND EMPLOY ANG MOH juz to fulfill ur supremacy. (if u wan supremacy that is)

can u wake up, before u talk about gov't unfair hence kena competition and no jobs and shit? if all s'poreans have great quality, a never say die attitude, a willingness to improve, there will b hope.

today wad i'm seeing, s'poreans say die at earliest opportunity, think they are entitled to a job juz because "they hav certain CV, fulfilled CIP hours, great karma" over others. fkin 目中无人. when u are inadequate urself.

and fkin hell, don't expect ppl to help u when u don't even hav the element of wanting to help urself. u are waiting for ppl to spoonfeed u.

human imagination is fertile.

we definitely came up with ideas of many millions of years ago there is life and stuff.

in objectively studying these things, we have to leave out everything else, including our religious beliefs. is that the "true" way to obtain knowledge?

is it?

then consider me unthinking. HAHA.

so u're telling me the unthinking person can't practice thought?

i'm not sure.

what is ur end? where is ur end?

so i reckon there i hav my answer.

many think that religion is juz here to answer our needs, pacify our "religious" wants from a cruel, unkind world. to create a deception for ourselves to believe in.

really? is religion created?

if humans use religion, create a story for our own fun, that is so shallow.

today, i dun create my own fun.

ppl who choose to turn away from my god, they think humans themselves triumph god. their belief is in human.

i choose an unfailing god, the god who is and hence can declare he is the beginning and the end.

i hav confidence in such a god, and i wld hope many else will come to find god.

i live in a world of preconceived notions.

so much so that i have preconceived notions.

are they bad? more likely than not they are bad.

we can't rly prevent it.

but it exists. and when it exists, they may b against us very badly. in my situation, yea, yea, verily i tell u, it's against me.

but in spite of that, i know my beliefs (to some extent). and i am slowly discovering more.

and when someone point my mistake, i reflect. if i disagree because i am on right track, i will tell that person. we can live in disagreement. no problem.

i live wif alot of ppl who are in disagreement wif me. but do we fight every day? no. we each noe what we disagree about. but we never hate each other.

we will correct each other when we step out of line.

what is community service? clocking CIP hours, OCIP trips? getting into EXCO of CIP club? meeting ppl who do CIP? and at the end of the day, not understanding that one should give back to the society, but use it as an avenue to show ppl that our souls are cleansed?? or isit i've done so much for community hence i deserve a position where i am in authority to earn more money? i'm quite concerned wif who is policing the meritocracy today. isit ppl who bother about the society at large/ppl who want to contribute positively to society, or isit ppl who can perpetuate such a "price-signal", mammon-seeking society today?

sad.

humans are really of the world.

we can think of everything to hide ourselves from god.

god is searching for us, as he has searched for adam.

why are we hiding? learn from adam. adam confessed his sin.

if i am of beelzebub, why i work against satan?

for satan does not work against satan.

if we are of god, why we fk each other?

god shld not work against god.

but in matthew it teach me, if my brother goes wayward, i muz bring him back on the right track. if buay gam, bring few ppl raise up to see who is on the right track and correct each other from there. but if still buay gam and 1 side is wrong, and dowan to change, then let us juz b of different belief.

we seek the truth, but are we seeking the right end point? and are we using the right tools to see the right end point?

many ppl are using their home-made tools to reach their preferred end point, riding on "holy" objects for their backup.

we like to interpret things the way we want it to.

argument. what is argument? it is but a discourse intended to persuade. but many of us take it negatively, as it usually persuades us away from our comfort zone.

we hav, admittedly, a right to stay in the comfort zone. as long as it seems right to us, we wld definitely wan to stay there, than going somewhere else which makes no sense.

yup, i understand that totally. i can't bring someone else into my shoes, i can only try to make that person see how i am feeling in my shoes, and hopefully he wld giv it a try because it is good.

we are not the ones who save ourselves. we can't. we have no power.

many of us love to cleanse our souls by doing good deeds, positive deeds. but does that save us? doing more good than bad, gives u nothing. there's nothing good out of juz doing good. cos u will still do bad. the pursuit of good juz to feel good, is in itself, a problem. it's already like perpetuating ur ego.

we do not become holy by our own means. u show me if u can.

he that hath ears, let him hear.

having reflected as a soldier, some words of stupidity i muz sae.

some things once lost, always lost. there is a need to uphold, value, treasure certain things which are close to our heart. never take these things for granted. who knows what may come tomorrow?

we are usually self-centred. it's impt that our own agenda should not drive our lives too much, as it's gonna cause problem for poeple around u.

but as humans we hav these tendencies, worse still when we dun realise it.

the self is fragile, yet we like to believe in it.

many a time two heads are better than one, but we like to neglect this synergy whenever we are striving for the fame, power, money, glory.

haha...it's never too healthy.

lord we are sinners.

i admit i'm one. it's only thru ur son's sacrifice on the cross for our sins that we are able to live, eternally. and also it's through ur grace that we are saved.

not anything else, not anything we do. but only through ur grace we are saved...

lord thank you for this precious gift, precious gift of life.

i pray that many else will receive it as well. pray that u will open others' hearts unto ur spirit...

that they may live eternally with u and have communion with u. pray that they will not b separated, apart from u due to sin, sin from lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and the pride of life...

lord, humble us, that we may continually see we are but sinners which only can be saved through ur grace.

pray that u will deliver us from evil.

for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever and ever... i pray in jesus' precious and holy name, amen.

funny.

so they decided to "ration" seats.

the gospel has always been for all to hear. not for exclusive lot.

not for rich lot. that's the only reason y it is made for any disgusting fella...
u tink when u're rich god bless u? i tell u possibly god blast u oso. giv money to those who can't handle the money is as gd as god blast them.

believing in god is not making all ur material wants be fulfilled, ur emotional craving, not even ur family.

believing in god is submitting to His will, humbly. u humbly accept wadeva shit or good shit god has given u. u dun believe in god cos he will give u wad u wan.

hello. if u can't accept the bigger will, u're missing the picture altogether...