sometimes, i nid to hide my face somewhere, and juz wonder wad i'm doing.

blasting relationship wif girls one after another. is that rly smart? i dun tink so. haha. if i were mcp, i'd sae they are stupid not to see wad's good in me. but i probably can't afford such a thinking.

women. i rly wonder y i am looking for a gf. to some extent, i'm not looking for girlfren per se. i'm looking for potential wife. like ALREADY looking for potential wife at 20. is there anyting wrong? essentially no, theoretically no. but i tink it's prohibitively difficult for me to find one now. yea sure, hu'd willingly go for a date wif a guy hu only wants u as his super long term wife? i dun tink so. if i were a girl i may not even choose that, unless i wan a super stable and super nothing life. juz go wif the flow and live wif this cock of a guy.

so am i supposed to change? i rly wonder. i'm letting time do the change. and i'm juz hoping i wun get turned on so fast wif a girl. else it'd end up like so many others that i had b4. the story is probably i'd after 1 wk or 1 day or 1h of talking to a girl, get turned on, start to chase her, and phail thereafter.

good reflection for these past years. like seriously. if i realised this in sec sch, i may feel even better now. suck thumb, that i only get to find out now.

allow me a moment of 不要脸. if u know hu u are, which i believe u do, u dun rly hav to care. but if u are kaypoh to read this, i rly wonder why i'm still bothering about you. haha... be happy. i believe u can find it, like u nearly did. i'd probably feel v 满足 if u do.

i wonder why i'd only think about only 1 person.