evidence.

this world is based on evidence. did u rape her? dna test. did u use the knife? thumbprint/dna test. are u really passport holder of this passport? check identity. did u steal the wallet? check cctv.

similarly for science. when u hav evidence, u make the rest of the ppl shuddup. dichromate ions when reduce become chromium (III) ion, cos they turn from orange to green. how was the egg fertilised? by one of the sperm, as they see from the cameras. the catholic church controlled that the earth was in the middle, sun went around. but telescope of copernicus and galilei said that sun in middle, earth circles the sun wif other planets.

science has also showed many human behaviours. why ppl will put trust in sth, why ppl will invest in a stock, how ppl can manipulate/motivate others by activating one part of the brain, dopamine pathways, reward pathways. the brain. is powerful.

the brain. psychologist, neurologists hav worked together to identify parts of the brain involved in belief. in religious ppl. in the hope to prove religions wrong indirectly, and that god is juz a way for comfort in a bad world. and that god is an escape. cos a god can provide an escape from the world, provide the encouragement they need to face this world of shit.

psychologist and neurologist hav evidence. that god is fake. that a soul is fake. that afterlife is fake. juz that they put it diplomatically. 2day i wan to help them sae wad they wan. the above. all these paranormal and supernatural and divine and the demonic are the works of the brain. the brain. subconscious mind being imposed on the conscious, such that the sense interprete otherwise and think there is such other worldly things.

i as a christian, i hav no proof, no scientific evidence. no scientific evidence. i can't show u god. i can't let u talk to god.

take note of the word is SCIENTIFIC. scientific evidence. but my proof that my god is real, is myself. if not for my god, i won't be here talking such abstract nonsense if u like it or not. i will wait for the day where people will find out that god isn't a part of the brain used for self comfort. but meanwhile, all i can sae is God has created me. God has given me intellect. and i thank god that i have this wisdom and discernment.

i hope any christian will not change their mind under scientific evidence, that the brain imagines god for hope and encouragement, and renounce christianity.

as for non-theisitc, i hope you will feel god anytime in your life soon. haiz.

a big hook does not necessarily mean a very ultra reactive ball. neither a small hook will mean a polyester ball. there are many more factors. many tings cannot be seen from one dimension. sian. as much as simplicity is loved, we have to moderate everything between simple and complicated.

the more science advances, the more religion and theism declines. and rots. yes. ROT.

by researching the brain, scientist are starting to believe the paranormal phenomena and the occurence of a soul and another dimension of the world where there are spirits, gods and souls is crap. CRAP. cos they are juz working of the subconscious mind and unconscious mind, but they impose themselves on the concscious such that the conscious mind "see" and "hear" and "touch" these things. in simplified version, such things are working of the mind:

prayer of many gets answered is juz a mass manipulation of everyones brain.
one person who got possessed is juz his brain going haywire.
one person who can do levitation by no prior training is basically wad ppl see him do, which maybe at the end of the day he is on the floor juz that ppl tink he fly.
mediums who can talk to spirits are juz fakes.

will i take the scientific explanations? i will sae sorry. i wun. juz like ppl tell me, sorry i wun believe there's god, there's gods, there's religion, u're stupid for believing in the dimension where there is spirit and god and angels and demon. cos science has proved otherwise.

true. science have proved otherwise, that the brain is powerful stuff. apparently, i guess i shall waste little time telling ppl about religion, why there are spirits, why jesus, why allah, why mother mary, why guan yin. i am stupid to believe in a god rite? HAHA

i regret that god allows the world to become perverted. i wonder why he allow ppl to hav a choice, when by pragmatic sense there isn't a choice. believe, or go hell according to my religion which is christianity. yes according to my religion. if u dun believe, it's ok. all roads lead to rome is a good theology anyway, i can't sae it's flawed but it is really optimistic. that is why there is a spread of hinduism.

before i 神经, i will still have to tell ppl this from a christianity standpoint. i may not be the best christian, neither am i doing any good for christians by typing these things. but i still hav to sae to all ppl. GOD LOVES U. god has created u, he will love u even if u sin against him he will forgive u if u repent. i appeal to u, repent as much as u tink god is fake. repent and turn to god. god will bless his believers in time to come. as much as scientist wan to prove there is no afterlife, i hope u won't make the wrong choice of not choosing to believe in god and have eternal disappointment.

老爹，你超烂也。。。。

最大的敌人是己。过不了这关，休想面对更极大的挑战。maybe i shld continue having war wif myself. maybe i shld stop having war and make peace within me.

either way, choices hav to be made, consequences will be around, juz like any other decisions that others face. haha. i nid a good weighing scale.

pins dun fall for free recently. fml.

shut up about democracy. i'm convinced it is not totally necessary.


ppl who are for s'pore democracy all are telling s'poreans to grow a dick and hav their own opinions, so that they can start speaking up against gov't and lack of press freedom. my qn is why do u nid to speak up? there's no point. in here, u shuddup, listen to the master, be a dog, u can get decent pay, lead decent life as in 吃不饱饿不死。why u can't? yes ppl like the cheeky one, why u can't? haha.


it's like a father-son relationship. assuming a strict father who is a control freak and probably has PI to check on the son. plus the father does not allow the son to interfere in family matters. the father does not allow the son to speak up against his will, does not let the son anyhow go around and make trouble, does not let the son criticise his own judgements and decisions. but the father gives the son a material life, gives the son academic achievements and opportunities, sustains his life rather well wif good food.

so an obedient son is like many of the singaporeans. we take the cash, shuddup even though we may not hav enuff cash to eat well, shuddup even though we can't speak up against our masters. i mean as i said, be a dog, many tings will turn out rather well. if u're a lucky son born in a middle upper family, good. there's decent cash. be a good son, and no one will bother u.

so wad is wrong? the wrong comes wif the rebellious sons. they wan freedom. they wan rights. they wan more cash. they wan more porn. so how? they decide to go against boss. so when this happen, like any strict father, rebellious sons will b dealt with. yes. rather harshly. micro-manage his sons affairs, take note of his every action, any problem he try to gather his fren and tok cok about his father, the father will whack him. and because of this, the son receive no pocket money.

the ting is, so our dear ppl fighting for democracy will b like the rebellious son. they are viewed as strong, hav their own viewpoints, willing to stand up for rights of the poor, willing to stand up for rights of the oppressed. but sorry leh. the day where rights will appear in s'pore is the day when a weak father comes up and succumbs to rights fighters.

meanwhile, why dun we juz sit down and enjoy the cash and be stupid/innocent/uncultured and BE A DOG? isn't that a good way to survive? yes, i'm saying survive. not live.

tink about it, though in s'pore no culture, no press freedom, no nothing, so what? most ppl continue living their life their own way wad. so dun hav den dun hav lo. why? nid vibrant arts scene so that u can become cultured person? no point la. bo cultured person, wu lui ok liao. le wu lui, ppl can't wait to por le lan pa. bo lui, go por lan pa then get lui. isn't it? simple way the world goes round.

ppl live their own life, easy to control, easy to make everyone robot. then since ppl seemingly hav no qualms being dogs, then so be it lo. there's one other way to make s'pore democratic. countrywide strike/protest. HAHA. but hu will wan? all strike, bo lui. no food. so no point rite? HAHA.

thus, ang mo lang, mai lai eh. dun disrupt the apparent noiselessness here. haha. by saying here bo democracy, bo arts, bo cultured. i would reckon most ppl dun care about having their own voice heard. ppl here are rather submissive.

now i rmb why i am so hesitant, pessimistic, etc about wa eh dua tao eh relationship.

satu, that za bor is a gep. dua, she is half despo. tiga, worse. the mother is despo. yes. her mother is despo. umpat, it seems he is the hero for her, so they 2gether.

feels alot like recipe for destruction. i'm not so sure. but as i like to sae, madness is present there. that may be good enuff? hahahaha. apparently it has worked out. i duno wad is in the future though.

真的。难道我真的打不进吗？哈哈。

never in my life was i stun by such stuff.

C#m, A, B E

nehneh. 韩大哥可能会使我的生命更寒冷。。。哎！！！哈哈哈！！！

你太远该怎么说对不起
你太近一转身却已高飞
快乐也许太短似场流星雨
一眨眼就如幻觉怕又记起

打不进啦打不进。

plz man, under weird circumstances i play only 500 pin nia. those korean like wad. anyhow throw ball then avg 230. yes. can fight. HAHA. well saw many weird stuff, like a 4-6-7 pickup. rather gay. seems like i gotta increase some ball power anytime soon.

time to settle sch stuffs. else dieded

you know, belmonte won milo cup wif wad storm ball??? team storm.

well done lao die. smash 1V. heng ge lao sai.

heng suay.

some ppl life shiok. maybe mentality shiok. liddat, they all shiok kia. life is full of fun, interests, smooth sailing. ppl around them oso feel shiokness. however, some are not brought up this way. some are brought up to think win. saya nid win. win win good. but i win better. only i can shiok. liddat, their lives are miserable, competitive, training, nel, work.

which is better? very very messy consideration. u nid cash then can shiok to a large extent. if u shiok but no cash, den u juz die. no food. similarly, if u everyday work. all the cash comes to u. but where is the shiok? u only can work. u can only afford to work. there's no enjoyment.

but if u heng, wad u do gives u cash and shiok. that is called heng diao. haha. let's hope that all of us can find the situation where we work hard, but feel the shiok at the same time. liddat den can fulfilling.

well done. phailed badly. HAHA. watch out

好！有所付出，有所学习训练，就有所收获。

prac so much, wun sae i din improve. though results not showing, i tink i shall bide. u noe pkmn? bide. u take 2 hits, then give back 2x. fun bun

to the noob, housework is a humbling experience. HAHA

林峰 - 愛在記憶中找你 (HD Live KTV)

well cantonese song after getting some influence from wenshan's blog. heh.

si gi na.

not enjoying wad i do. this is bad. too serious alr. muz lighten up. too focused on sth is bad for health. muz learn to relax.

林淑容 李茂山-無言的結局

familiar situation? heh.

but well... 我曾经说过如果有一天, 我将会离开你, 脸上不会有泪滴

time doesn't wait for me. time to practice spares.... i wonder how long/what will it take to master sparing

c'mon knees/thighs. dun die on me so soon.

well... got success on scores. but still not zai tournament temperament yet. kip getting kan chiong, in the end all sucky shots. but well... tio many strike la. so heng lo...

end up 971 scratch, got 5th overall. lost to probably only 2 by scratch and 2 lost by hdcp. HAHA. yu lost to the yalam ball girl by 15 pin due to HDCP. but well.. both of us half screw. technique abit disappear for some reason. but let's take it from here.

good try.

but now got that stupid sci proj. got stuffs to settle. and i probably made many bad decisions regarding such project. looks like i suffered a period of bad judgement. shld hav done better. but heh time moves on, thus i hav to plan ahead. too bad hahahhaha.

stay calm, stay cum, den ok alr la.

anw 4 nationals, quite fail. cos highest series only 667 over 4 games. shitz. could hav done much better, could hav jacked up many more strikes. lost abit of basics when i was 入迷.

and here and there got wrong mentality. keep thinking about the score, instead of the next strike. shld hav more focus next time. score shld always come 2nd. tink about the strike 1st. nid to balance, nid to wad. etc.

phail...

but not bad la. gained some exp. and when u get exp, u will lvl up. lvl up liao, more skills. skills better. can beat more opponents! HAHA.

but rather true if u do see it. sure u can secretly farm. but not enuff exp oso no point one. both secret farming and exp will add up in the end, of equal importance unless u're a robot.

let's go on. there's still much to be done.

inequality makes the world go round too. everyone has a fair share to complain about in such a stupid competitive world we live in.

i as a bowling person oso wan to complain. bowling is underrated.

i play bowling i dun hav bulging muscles. ppl will tink aiya so easy throw ball nia. see canoeist train until so hiong then they muscle ji dua liap. u play bowling so gay.

yea. so gay. it's these bunch of ppl hu like to compare which makes ppl around them feel like noobs. they love to incite such sensitive points of others and hope to anger others. sure u can do that for all u wan, cos ppl can't stop u.

but this unhappiness aside, i oso hav more to complain. haha. tink abt it. the world is about sex and soul. hu are the more publicised ppl in our sch? it doesn't seem like the councillors. it doesn't seem like many cca leaders. it doesn't seem like some smart student. apparently it's the bunch hu hav girlfrens, has the biggest mouth, most willing to strip that type. they get publicised. the world does 崇拜 such shit eh? haha. i like it.

i may not be the holiest person. but i do prefer if the world was much cleaner, stupider, nicer, with more peace and normalness. instead of being filled with sex and soul.

风水轮流转。

many things happen in circles. even there are things known as circular reasoning. i mean many tings ppl avoid and explain by circular reasoning. haha. it looks useful.

sian recently not eating as much. suddenly lost appetite to jiak. duno why. maybe tired? high chance. or that recently too sian already.

judgement, precision, accuracy, achievement, professionalism, etc.

do we need to have many qualities to be a good person, or to be seen as a good person? HAHA. but as i like to sae, if u can't beat them, join them. i cannot change everyone's mindset so that everyone will see each others as pros and go ego boosting. heh. but it's a waste of time to 吹毛求疵. sometimes looking at the positive of one person can provide a comforting image. looking at negatives will bring u headaches.

so the easy way out is to see everyone as good ppl isn't it? haha. dun sae i'm being simplistic, pragmatic and waste time and wad shit. u're probably looking for an easy way out oso. or u want to stay absorbed in ur own thinking.

marathon. sian.

as the world start to make its stamp on wad i see, i feel very disappointed. and at many a time, i feel like going to the dark side. juz become a merry-maker and hav fun and hav sex and hav wine. eat drink be merry. but is that right? it seems right to the world. i hate being holier than thou. but sorry. i hav to sae the world isn't right in this case.

do we have to behave like an idiot to b cool? apparently not. tink about the bunch of ppl who are highly sought after. they dun behave like idiots. they either behave like nuts and promiscuous, else they are nerds and geeks. and which apparently hav the better viewpoints? i will leave to ppl to comment.

but i hav to sae the world's moral standards hav significantly taken a dip. sex is viewed as free. once upon a time, it was sacred and reserved for marriage, heterosexually. now there's zoophilia, homophilia, botanophilia. disappointing. but again, it's not for me to sae. AGAIN. the world rules u alot.

but sorry world. i stand firm to my beliefs. i may make adjustments to "blend in" so that i won't stand out too much like a dick. but i will not turn into a fucker juz to become like the bunch of apparently cool bastards. yes. these ppl are aptly put as bastards - they dun seem to have parents to teach them right and wrong. i hate insulting them, because it make me seem i want to criticise their upbringing since 养不教，父之过. but i feel sad for their parents - most of them want their children to be wonderful people. not wonderful fuckers. but because of wadeva reasons and circumstances, they submit to wad is trendy, wad is sleazy and sexy.

-------

no point. seriously, no point. juz live my stupid and nerdy and geeky lifeless life. if ppl wan to see it as nerdy and geeky and lifeless is wad i doing, as i like to sae, so be it. does ur opinion matter to me much? i can sae, my opinion of u doesn't affect u. why shld i allow ur opinions to affect me? haha. it's so fun to play wif absolutism and relativism.

midnite toking sai liao. mai gong jiao huay liao.

wow. quite an unbelievable nite 2nite. wif 866 + 50hdcp = 916 series over 5 games, i can get 3rd in a 13-man comp. hahahahahhaha.

on a pragmatic/secular standpoint, i will thank my coach, bowling buddies, bowling alley staff (for talking crap wif me), and my gym training for getting here.

on religious standpoint, i will thank god. i mean obviously since saya christian. for sustaining me and blessing me with many abilities and an able body. and keeping me free of injury though i exert considerably on my body.

but 2nite, quite alot of flush pockets, luckily there were some kicks of 10-pin by 6-pin. and one memorable ball muz b the 4-6-7-10 which dropped and then left only 4. fun bun.

anw i fluffed the last game 141. thanks to last frame stroke of genius. cld hav been 177 if i struck out last frame. but fml slipped twice for both shots, and got -8. became 141.

after this, back to work. morning proj/gym, afternoon bowl/sth else, nite???? probably project again. and then some bad news, e.g. someone reminding me of hols package.

si ginna. 2day muz hav been lousiest day bowling. like nub liddat.

but good try again. pick 2-4-8-10

oo. things hav taken a change. many are going right now instead of left.

let's hope my ball will work out wonderfully.

anw a cake from breadtalk is really good name man. it's called angel and devil. sth liddat. sibei fit cos the chocolate si dark choc. and i dun like bitter dark choc. nehneh. the white sponge cake nice den jiak tio dark choc i will sian.

many tings are not going right. they are going left.

maybe i shld follow the trend and go left too.

lao ma arh. 为何命这么奇怪？？ hahahhaha.

why do so many people go for win-lose? if u gained at the expense of someone else, is it a good idea? e.g. i dun share wif u a certain efficient method of doing something. den we do this activity. i turned out to be faster and took less time, and the boss gave me more money and gave u less. there is this gap of money created between us. in addition to the previous gap of knowledge. then because of this, the boss we are working for gets lower output. all lose. but marginally u can consider i won. because i had more money and i worked for less time.

why nt choose the win win situation? by making some compromises or being helpful, everyone may be better off. but unfortunately, we live in a weird place.

when u compromise, a million people will ask u, u so good, why u compromise wif a nub/idiot/lousy person? is it for political reason? 当心人，你们真是烦死人啦。那些做好人的，必须怀疑吗？除非这个人是混江湖，说话三分真七分假，我不认为我们得怀疑特别友善的人。你去怀疑好人，你自己生活难过而已，也可能使别人难受，在你面前感得非常不自在。

maybe i'm being superficial. but many a time the superficial is the truth, but ppl dowan to believe it and try to make things deep. bad for health. tink too much will die one.

on a skeptical thinking note. rather than optimistic from my previous writing.

even if u try to compromise at times, peace can't be made. why? there are ppl who look too deep, and can't accept the surface which many a time is the absolute truth. u make peace wif such ppl, they will sae. this guy has political agenda. this guy wants to suck my money. this guy wants to plp.

sure u can think this way. i duno. life is juz probably abit more miserable when u try to b wary of ppl who are not evil and they do not hav any motive to make peace other than trying to make peace. HAHA.

they say, u define yourself.

i sae, fk u. are u sure u define yourself? HAHA. more like, ppl perceive who u are and then u hav to sae jtb and live wif wad they perceive who u are. that's too bad. the world is bad. and once u cannot accept the world will never go the way u want it to, hahhahhahaha. u will lose. cos ppl will take advantage of u, sae u stupid, sae u blur, sae u're a dick. while u hope the world will be a place, filled with wonderful ppl and everyone lives in peace.

sure we can live in peace. very easy. if everyone were to show more tolerance, more acceptance and learn to make compromises. i believe in compromises, tolerance. why? cos this is the way to live a life, where ppl u see are friends and there are less enemies. u may think this is a shit hypothesis and that i do not think this way. i sae, fine. go perceive wad u wan. hopefully, soon u will find that the best way to go is to learn to make peace and be friends with everyone.

the world can be a better place, if everyone helps each other. even if there are differences. it's the differences that ppl are unwilling to resolve OR PUT ASIDE. yes. put aside. u may not have to resolve it. u can put it aside. BUT i can confidently tell u many are unable to even put aside differences. ignore it for a moment and life goes on. difficult? yes to those bastards who can't seem to understand what is a simple compromise.

they say, 忍一时风平浪静。how true is that. i tell ppl, 冤冤相报何时了？usually after i'm pist, i will convince myself to make peace, whether silently or openly, wif the other guy. why? see ppl happy isn't that better than see one more guy buay song u? heh. if everyone can start being less unhappy with another... that's a good step. to having more harmony around.

i juz need 1 thing to survive. well of course, from my religious viewpoint. i probably already have it.

but there is one main thing that i want to increase my sol.

and from this want, comes most derived demand.

other things that i want, are probably extra necessitites to feel extra shiokness.

unfortunately, sol usually stays stagnant.

come boys. now we hav 2 choices. bluff ourselves that life is good. or juz face/enjoy our bad and unidealistic lives.

there is hope.

but sometimes, there is none too.

as far as ppl value me, there will be those who devalue me. similarly, as far as ppl criticise me, there will be those who see otherwise. as yu saes, this world is relative. human cannot b absolute. no matter how absolute, u'll still b relative.

and the ting about relative is cute. that is why there is hope, while there is none. one sees u hopeful. another sees u as a useless shit. where u put urself is impt. sometimes in this world to succeed is about optimising urself. at least, sometimes. not all the time. u nid to get to optimise. do i work better under criticism? better by building on wad i hav and encouragements? consider all factors, and get to be a better person. hard to do eh.

i dun hav so much time to waste to explain certain simple facts in life. go find them out urself. HAHA. 2day i shall b bad. maybe when i hav better mood i may exprain? another time la. now. shld take a quick aestivation.

aestivation is actually quite like hibernation. different from slp. a little misconception. but it's ok. it sounds rly nice eh. like mastication. i wonder how many ppl noe about mastication. it's a nice term for something which happens during ingestion.

sometimes, we shld give some presents in our lives. it's good. ppl want presents. unless it's from sot kia. esp when ppl ask for present, we shld do something and give them. heh. but euphemism aside, how about when ppl ask u to give up ur position when you and another person are equally competent, equally smart, equally genius? haha. this may worth a thought. but if i were in place and no money and face at stake, aiya. for good measure, to uphold the relative peacefulness of everyone's life, maybe, it's a good choice to shuddup and sae okla let u la.

of course we muz watch out. if ppl step over our heads. simple. shoot them. since it may be a signal from them that they want to be shot.

你总是 mug 到 nua, mug 到 nua
独自一个人读书到天亮
你无怨无悔的读着那科目
我知道你根本没那么坚强
你总是mug 到 nua, mug 到 nua
把所有问题都自己扛
读书总是简单考试太难
不是你的就别再勉强

夜深了你还不想睡
你还在想着考题
你这开夜车到底累不累
明知考不到优秀成绩

只不过想好好读几科目
可惜它无法给你满分
多余的牺牲考官无心疼
你应该不会只想做个好人

噢算了吧
就这样忘了吧
该放就放再想也没有用
傻傻等待也考无所成果
你总该为自己想想未来

check it out! sung to the tune of 心太软

bad for health:

1. accusing other ppl, with that guy's notice. or poisoning the well with the person u trying to poison knowing wad is happening
2. putting words into other ppl's mouth oso. why not let the words come from ur own mouth? can train mouth muscle, so that u can chew the beef better. esp that type the tendon sibei chewing gum type.
3. trying to turn into a ghost and take control of another body, be it living, sane, insane, non-living, humane, inhumane, active, inactive.

thus, thou shalt not kill. else u will b a murderer. even if duno how to make peace, den juz sae, 我不知道。不要去装聪明，胡言乱语。thus, to ensure u dun do much things which are bad for health... take a nap. and sleep. and aestivate. and hibernate.

聽 海

nice song, u can find the man version around too.

if i can rewind back some time and make some changes, maybe i shld learn about the conservation of quotients very young. so that i may be in a better state of mind, body and soul from a very young age.

ang ki guai.

some people wait a lifetime, for a moment... like this? maybe many ppl nid to wait a lifetime for a moment like that. some are lucky, wad they tink, wa. suddenly appear in front of their life. lucky ppl.

but are lucky ppl better off? to some extent yes. easy life. happy happy. 得过且过。easy man. but sometimes because of this, they hav unlimited wants.

hard life ppl? they face challenging times. they get stronger. but doesn't mean they are happier as well, as they gotta face hardships which can turn one sot.

ai kun liao. tmr wake up early. and clear head. good for health.

si liao si liao... i feel stress sia. 对身体健康不好。

b4 test liddat. bad sign. bad sign. feel stress = not good. means if go in got higher chance to underperform. haiz. let's hope got way to cure such state of mind soon.

go easy on my conscience, cos it's not my fault. i know i've been taught to take the blame.

bo bian liao. nid play toto liao. hope for the best.

no future? u can always look on the present. u can always ask someone to give you the present. sometimes, stopping may be a good way to progress. sometimes, a halt may be a good choice to create extra space. tink about soccer. u run with the ball in front, but in front all defender. they all in good position to tackle u. since u are advancing, they will move back little by little. suddenly u stop. ahh. suddenly left and right got space. can pass. can make advancements. isn't it.

we shld all learn to make appropriate stop on the soccer field.

cool

for some entertainment?

my ball may not be the most suitable. neither is my line. my ball may not be the strongest, neither my line may fit my ball. my line adjustments may not be the most educated prediction, neither is my ball changes. but sorry. sometimes, feeling works very well. combined with a little bit of exposure & experience, a little thinking, and belief in yourself, and of course, luck. everyone may very well be a winner.

原来如此。

sometimes it's bad for health, especially when someone u noe has very good memory. it's not a good ting to have a very very powerful memory. wad we call hyperthymesia. u can't forget a thing u did since some age. can recall vividly certain details which seem unsignificant to most ppl on a specific day. it's not good to hav this type of boss eh? haha.

but as i recently usually tok, 冤冤相报何时了？even if u do remember bad stuff about other ppl, sometimes juz forgive them. it's good for health to forgive. rather than harbour fat hatred, and then when u c that guy, hey idiot wa ai hoot le ji liap. i'm sure he'll let u whack very willingly.

但是最近的确有点奇怪。有些事情很像无缘无故发生，分析也不懂为什么。but sometimes, do we hav to bother y? a minimalistic approach can be good for health rite. haha.

freudian psychoanalytic theory of defence mechanisms. not bad. why do ppl defend their stands, and sometimes submit to others? defence of urself. wad is an ego? every interesting qn. i wld sae ego is ur own pride mixed with your value system. a humble person can be egoistic, and so can the reverse be true as well. a very assertive person can be a living void, with a lack of self-esteem. when u are attacked, wad do u do? u will protect ur ego. the way u do it, depends on urself. ur value system. or, of course, u can always use the conscious mind to stop urself from making any extreme moves and cause unhappiness.

sometimes choosing the conscious mind to control and moderate urself is a good thing. however, sometimes it's good to allow urself to express fully. ego needs to be protected. it is one's pride. but the problem is this - if ego somehow breeds into a "i am living god" thinking, wa si le lao bei, wa si dua kia, i holier than thou. den. all i can sae, good luck to such a person. hehe.

save the world. everyone, shut ur mouths up. HAHA

it's not good to be found out.
it's worse to reveal ur underground activities.
it's worst to even start to get involved.

bad for health. underground taiwanese dealings shld b stopped, and anywhere else in the world. so i shld stop getting into my cash dealings and start doing things which i am expected to be doing. heh

真的这么惨吗？

maybe, it all amounts up to nothing at all. the world may end at 2012 wad. HAHA

how much shld u hate?

apparently i'm wrong. there seem to be some unhappiness that one will never forget, some hatred that one can never forgive the other person for.

is there a need to hate so much? i dun tink so. when u are not happy wif a person, analyse wad's wrong. den, if u are a nice person, tell him wad u tink he can improve on. why keep it all inside, unhappy, see him fight? got point meh? why not take a step back and improve each other? haiz.

some ppl may say, certain hatred are too big to forgive. then i got 1 remedy. juz shuddup and live ur own life, dun bother, rather than make trouble and spread trouble about this person. lousy attitude man most ppl, after buay song den go sae sae sae. if u wan to sae, u shld oso include how that guy can improve, and end by saying i'm an asshole and i dowan to tell him how to improve imo. rite??

bu ar, wa si bo tao nao kia.

sometimes i wonder. older=experience. so all the more, we shld trust them, listen to them. this applies to a very large extent. unless this person hasn't seen the harshness of reality, or is somewhat disabled, then there is a difference. we shld learn to trust ppl who are 1 generation above us. they will have more experience. unless they are younger than u la haha.

想用一杯latte把你灌醉
好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味你不懂这种感觉
早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会

chorus: 为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解
我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退我的防备
静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

看见你和他在我面前
证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的那些憔悴
是你永远不曾过的体会

明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会
我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天你会发现
真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

bridge (nice chord change)

曾经我以为我自己会后悔
不想爱得太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪
为你作任何改变
也唤不回你对我的坚决

chorus

but whatever it may take, however my heart breaks, i'll keep singing in the rain till u're back again.

ccb. juz shut up. sometimes, it's the best ting to do, it's a blessing to learn to shut up. so i shld learn to shut up. haha

nice one wenger. i totally agree with him. that's too bad world - elitism is good for health to a large extent.

-----------------------

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has cautioned against raising the age at which young footballers can move between clubs.

The transfer ban imposed on Chelsea over their alleged poaching of Lens winger Gael Kakuta, now 18, in 2007 has prompted suggestions the system be overhauled.

"Look at the alternative. The player will be sold anyway," said Wenger.

"To whom? To agents. At what age? At 13, 14. Where will they go? Not to top-level clubs with top-level education."

“If a player goes to Man United, Chelsea or Arsenal it's all clear and he gets a good education. Fifa can come here and immediately I open the door for inspection to show them what we do and how we treat the boys. That's not the case everywhere. There are some places in Brazil where the boys do not have the same conditions or treatment we have here.

“If you have a child who's gifted at football, what is his best opportunity to develop as a player? If you have a child who's very gifted for music, you try to put him in a good music school, not in an average one. Why should that not happen in football? I've been long enough in the game to be convinced that the best must play with the best — there's no better education.

“[Cesc] Fabregas has not wasted his time here. We took advantage of a period of Barcelona that was messy, and [Lionel] Messi is a good example. Barcelona took Messi from Argentina at the age of 12, paid for his medical treatment and brought his entire family over.

“Messi is the best player in the world and a good counter-example of what Fifa is fighting against. In Barcelona he got a good education and was looked after medically. Should you forbid that?

Wenger also suggested that the influx of talent helps, rather than hinders, young English players.

"To expose your local players to top-world class players does not harm your players, it improves your players," he added.

"It respects one basic rule - the best to become better have to play better."

------------------------

if a young kid wif extraordinary talent in music is sent to the best sch for music, why not a very good young talented footballing kid who wants to pursue a better way of playing football go to man utd at age 12? or any other club wif good youth training?

let's assume this guy is english, he's very good, age 13. playing for div 2 club. suddenly top club see, wan buy. why cannot buy? u shld let the guy go and get better footballing chance. isn't it? when he get better, he will make it for england a team, and then contribute to country oso. similarly, let's sae foreign talent. frenchie tio bought by top english club. then trained well, become very good. he will oso contribute to his own country. his OWN country. while playing for the club as well. win win isn't it?

i understand. not enuff english kids to play for england isit? personally, i dun tink so. there is rather enuff english talent. defoe was from west ham acad. agbolanhor oso not bad. ben foster oso english, though not 1st team, but still good enuff for int'l. in my opinion, it's juz a mental block. sooner or later, more english young ppl will rise up on epl stage. BUT this will need all ppl to cooperate, let the best young english player go and train at the top, assuming that they will make it to top club's 1st team. a big assumption, but i tink ppl shld b optimistic.

we muz bluff ourselves that hc teachers are alllll very good.

look at a certain sch student. i go there teach tuition for my cip prog i am in. wah. student sibei enthu. but then wad happen? all this duno that duno, not say thye can't understand oso. but seriously. their teacher duno is wad. kia si lang ar. got 2 classes of student all sign up why? cos teacher too lousy, den sign up. in the end sae we teach better, the teacher like nv do anyting. i mean plz, if u go through sth. juz take some time to let ppl noe. den finish alr. instead of wad teach teach teach. cos nothing one. heh maybe i oso commit this crime la. but aiyo. student enthu but duno anyting, rly set me suspecting whether teacher pon.

nvm. now ai bowling 1st time in 5 day. let's see whether i will deprove. if never deprove, i chop my head off. and then celebrate wif it.

HAHA

Try to throw the picture out of my mind
try to leave the memories behind
Here by the ocean
wave's carry voices from you
Do you know the truth
I am thinking of you too

....

The love we had together
just fades away in time
And now you've got your own world
and I guess I've got mine
But the passion that you planted
in the middle of my heart
is a passion that will never stop
ABD(up)EF#ABD(up)F# AF#EDE DC#D ....


from someday by mltr.

sianded. pw sibei ka jiao.

even as i dance across the floor, and everyone is calling out for more, somewhere in my heart i feel alone.

is it worth it to be achieving everything, and end up wif a mountain of cash? in another way, is it fulfilling to everyday be some altruistic guy, and have nothing for yourself? it all boils down to personal satisfaction. do you derive satisfaction in making urself the best? or do you derive satisfaction watching others happy?

seems like many nowadays choose both. they want themselves to be the best, while at the same time they will do things to help others. BUT. sorry. for certain ppl, they aren't so holy. why they want to help others? because it's soul cleansing to them. be fair arh. SOME ppl arh, they do community work for soul cleansing. u noe wad i tell these ppl? if u hate doing community work, plz seriously, go help urself 1st. ur main aim is to help urself to look better as a altruistic chap, rather than actually whole-heartedly help ppl.

next. perfection doesn't seem to be present in the world. but why do we still strive towards it? haha. tink about it. we shld learn to be less expecting of ourselves, and work together to greater good with greater efficiency. look at the birds. "When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness." not bad eh. be realistic. "dreams are juz like rainbows: only idiots chase them". sure, u can set good targets. but when u dream big, plz wake up and slap urself at the same time too. to keep ur dream in check, b4 u will 走火入魔。

gong jiao huay. nehneh.

tired days, though hols. haha. never slp enuff even though it's hols. play game, study, play bowling. aiyo. idiot. when are u gonna get a rest? hahaha. i duno seriously

MLTR - The War Is Not Over

suddenly mltr sings an inspirational song out of all the love songs! not bad sia this one.

i reckon it's a resing anw, but it's ok. nice song.

and there came to pass, that two foolish old men were to meet. one was with 2 women drinking, another was alone, albeit drunk. and for no reason, the man alone approacheth the man drinking, speaking in tongue, thou art worse than a prick. lo, the man drinking was incensed, and push he the alone man down to the ground. as loser as he was, he took forth a chair and slammed on him. and my friend telleth me, let us not participate, for they are foolish, and there will be no outcome. alas, there was no outcome.

a short summary of wad happened after i was watching show at a place somewhere in s'pore a few hours ago.

and there came to pass a man, who was deep in thought. and the wise man said unto him, thy thoughts not put into action are as good as pulp not turned into paper. but this man angered, and saith unto the wise man, thy words have i shuffed up my butt, so that i may carry on doing nothing. for doing nothing is productivity compared to evildoing.

but sometimes there is a problem eh. u duno when ur idea is good. or when this idea put into practice may turn out good. or sometimes they sae, u shld do someting. but wad if u tink of something bad? can you do? probably not. or something u perceive will breed harmony, but when u carry it out, effects are disastrous. worth giving it a try? haha i duno. calculate costs and benefit then hahahaha

idiot. gamble gamble. in the end oso losing end. looks like taking no gamble is good. but that's wrong. u take no gamble, u gain nothing. u gamble too much, u may lose too much oso.

is the status quo good? heh. i duno. dat's up to u to sae. but as they sae, man is. greedy. man is selfish. man wants progress. wants change. status quo usually is not preferred. so ppl will try to make progress. and one of the fundamental way to progress is to gamble. but fail liao, then blame hu? i oso duno. heh. solve ur own problem, scarly can't solve then how? i oso duno.

start? or wait for someone to start?

if u start, ppl may not be infected. u wait for someone to start, no one may start. good problem.

i hav become a lousy student for 1 year. it's ok.

wa peng you ga wa gong. plagiarism is a form of sincerity.

agree bo? quite true wad. why do u plagiarise? that's cos u can't come up with anything better. so u use other ppl stuff, since it is million times better. but of course, to be fair to that guy, u muz always sae by hu. why? ok. because his barang barang. den u take alr, u muz sae actually not mine, he make one, very good, so actually his stuff good so i use.

and so, when u adopt someone else idea, sometimes it is not a good thing. as in u paraphrase or wad. maybe scarly quote wrong, misrepresent, or from high level bring to low level, or sometimes u overstate that guy when actually that guy not very zai. then u go and reference him. cannot wad. u misrepresent him, then quote him for wad. muz plagiarise then acknowledge source then correct. cos u use everything from him then sae by him. rather than edit his things den sae by him. it's juz like i borrow a fren clothes, dip into paint change colour, wear, then sae o this shirt is his not mine the paint made by him oso.

Chris Barnes v Jason Belmonte. 2009

life. is precious. but it seems not to some.

ppl sae live with dignity. no dignity can go die. wad if u're willing to live with no dignity? heh. some ppl sae die with dignity is good eh. i duno. i tink not. i wld rather live wif no dignity. u wan to die, u shld jump off the building. that is true death with dignity. u declare u wan to die, u shld die in the most brutal way to show ur resolve to die. instead, many take those sleeping drugs. nubz.

jit si lang jiong jing zei chuan bo hai

ok. fair. all men make stands. and i can see, the norm teaches us to respect each others views. thus i cannot tell ppl to sit. thus, carrying on standing. and everyone will see.

GARETH GATES - with you all the time

nice song... except for that picture HAHA.

some ppl call each other smart, some ppl call each other stupid, some dun care.

as far as we do not like to judge, sometimes we have to make a stand for our own thinking, assert sth to protect ourselves or our values. but somehow, asserting and stating ur stand may end u in many troubles. the only way to not be in trouble: 2 choices. shuddup and b mute. or everyone embraces each other's opinion.

it's hard. but sometimes, if there's a listening ear, maybe u shld juz go to this listening ear for ur problems, to listen to ur value and sth that has provoked it.

i predict a temporary drop in results. let's see when it'll recover.

if no drop... i shld start wondering whether i'm a normal human. or i sibei gao. heh.

traeh ym kaerbnu.

life's not that great isn't it. but it's ok. things go on. the world spins, unless the sun were to collapse. solar system continues to revolve around wadeva it is. some sort of a centre of mass. everything moves.

su niam li eh xin gua.... li gan zai...

为何不面对呢？ sometimes, if we took our troubles by their face, look our enemy in the eye. we may achieve a victory, a win-win. dun u agree? well... it would apply to things on a small context i mean.

i'm lost. within something magical. wth. sometimes ppl tell me. le sot diao le si man, man bo feeling. yea. man no feeling outside only. idiot. tell me, do u usually praise ppl for no reason? probably not very often, unless u 2 good fren. usually u'll see other ppl wif some skepticism. but within u, u muz be thinking, 其实他 quite imba can do till liddat. HEH.

nvm incoherent as usual

明日之星SUPERSTAR20090228#19-曾心梅郭婷筠演唱思念你的心肝你敢知

mui jit ba long ki dai li eh go zai lai... yong xin gua dui li gong, wa eh yong xin lai dan dai, su niam li eh xin gua li gan zai..

gun you guan diam zai jin gun eh so zai yong jin xin mui li dan dai you dan dai....

busy busy. but hu isn't? haha... unless u jiak ba liao mai bang sai bang jio. u rather sit there wait death due to drowning in shit and pee.

i will touch on a very dangerous subject. again. some ppl because they dated once, and broke up on a very bad note. date 2nd time, tio cheat again. then they will sae. all men/women are useless suckers, cos i like/love them, and they liddat to me. (depending on which sex u are. and assuming heterosexuality). but my qn is, is that a fair statement to make?

sorry ppl. my answer is NO. well. fair to sae that they have been bad ppl. but never fair to generalise and sae, all women/men are losers, useless. let me sae the safer of the dangerous sides 1st. from men point of view, some men see women as useless after such things happen. they will sae, seems like women will never give me wad i wan. ok fine. i'll show them, by sexing 1 million women/prostitues, another 2 million ducks and turn gay, and another 3 million animals to show some zoophilic traits. probably throw in 5million pitcher plants too. erpz. but i hav to tell u, by doing this, it seems like u're the real loser. why? u unable to find love. and why? because u hav lost ur confidence in finding a girl. when will a girl like u when u are not confident in them liking u, or doing something to impress them? fren. u shld wake up ur idea then. a girl cheat on u. it doesn't mean that u hav been a lousy person. u still can find another. a girl reject u. doesn't mean that u hav never loved her, doesn't mean that you're some failure in life. the very fact that u hav loved her, u hav some success (though not all). if u do agree wif this stand point. u can try again. or as usual, u can find another? probably. isn't it.

well for female standpoint, i'm not so well versed. but i can sae a little bit i reckon. if ppl do allow me to. haha. u c if a guy has cheated on u, it seems a very bad situation. if u do noe of this s'pore/asian mentality, women who hav been cheated on... they may become unstable. but same as men. why lose confidence when you have been cheated on once? no confidence that a guy can love you all the way, u'll never find one. if u hav been rejected by a guy, again same thing. probably a guy will come to see something in u isn't it if u keep positive outlook...

so conclusion is u shldn't tink the opposite sex is loser cos they seem to hav disappointed u in some sort of a relationship

anyways. so to a great extent, when u chase someone, u needa some confidence. u cannot b some person that looks down on urself. tink about it. u look down on urself. will someone like u? u wanna see urself loser, ppl like u for wad? to lose wif u? or u wan them to like u cos they pity u? probably not isn't it. u probably want someone hu likes u for a better reason than he/she pity u.

but. i muz sae some words of caution. for men, u shldn't ji hong all the time. u shld b more faithful rather than everyday find one girl. for women, u shldn't be promiscuous due to desponess. both will probably drop ur attractiveness. same thing. will u wan someone to like u, cos u're promiscuous and flirt very well? probably not eh. unless u seriously dun mind u like this, and ppl around u see you like this.

*disclaimer: not happy pls ask me to take down. or edit info.

hoot ji liap ho li si ar!

tell the pins that b4 bowling, in case they are not ready for extra pin action and flying around in the face of a truck. yes boys. a truck. a bulldozer if u're using hot sauce, the sauce, tfd out of box, dry zone solid etc etc. haha.

looks like. i duno. tikam ho bo? seems like tikam ho sei lei. when u sure, juz do it. duno, tikam wa ga le gong is a good choice. why? tikam here i mean is smart guess. make a smart guess. mai brainless throw coin. see the choices, dun use too much brain, see which one best decision. den. juz do it liaio. mai go back, sor sor sor, then u will change decision. scarly come out, decision buay ho sei. den too bad. so conclusion is, when u're stuck, make a good guess a good decision, try it, see how. mai hesitant. when hesitant, ppl will tink u sucky only. haha. which most ppl like me are rather guilty of.

Lately you have been asking meif all my words are true
Don't you know
I'll do anything for you

Sometimes I haven't been good to you
Sometimes I've made you cry
And I am sorry for everything but
I promise you girl
I promise you this

Chorus:
When the blue night is over my face
on the dark side of the world in space
When I'm all alone with the stars above
you are the one I love

So there's no need to worry girl
My heart is sealed for you
And no one's gonna take it away
cos' I promise you girl
I promise you this

Chorus:

Your voice is calling to me in my dreams
My love is stronger than it's ever been


good song. but nowadays got orange moon and orange nites. orange moon due to haze. orange nite cos cloud reflect orange light from sodium lamp HAHA.

but u heard of sth called more is less, less is more theorem? sometimes, u put in more effort. u will get less result. on the contrary, less effort more result. 事半功倍。duno why one. see bowling. u relax ur arm, ball goes more accurate. u muscle the ball and dun use swing, ball become slower and less good direction. magic eh? i oso duno.

well but we muz not 4get the importance of adjustments. when u're bowling badly, u needa adjust. juz like in life. if u're not doing well somewhere, make the adjustment. 对症下药。if there are great problems that is. this will probably get u somewhere. dun stay stagnant. many ppl are guilty of staying stagnant. that's why they are still stuck in their current problems. and when problem stack. den how? si kiao kiao la.

hmmm. nowadays no time sia. life hectic. or isit i slow down? haha. juz like bowling. isit i slow down, or isit my rev disappear, or isit there are more problems? can't see. but 旁观者清。we'll see in time.

problem in head, problem wif how to solve a problem.

but aren't problems good for health? some say yes. it will train ur mental willpower. but is it always good? good we know why. they challenge us and make us tink and go the extra mile when we dun bother doing so. and this will shape our thinking.

but bad? many points why. since ppl are alr lazy, problems will make a person feel resentful that they hav to get work done again. i mean, will u bother to do extra homework after finishing the required? usually not. unless u nid to practice more, in which case it's cos u need to do it, and not u want.

also, stacking problems may b a bad thing. dun deny it. and mai gey kiang. if u house got family problem alr, or u hav girlfren problem, or u got some identity crisis, dun go and create extra trouble for urself. go and settle the things at hand first. before u crumble under the onslaught of problems. and u crumble because u gey kiang. bo hua.

wad i toking sia. heh. shld stop here.

now the pressure of jc is starting to get to me. not good. let's hope body balances will get back to normal after my sickness. it has affected my momentum a little.

maybe i shld give myself a break. which i got for free by being sick. maybe i shld give others a break? haha. then everyone will b happy. cos everyone had a break.

tell me, i love you, forever...

heh i've been hearing this all the time if i come home b4 7pm. heh. well, varies a little from the typical korean content. but storyline still sama sama.

but sometimes. why muz life b so hard. this type of show is both man and woman love each other one. as i like to sae, jtb.

but if things do take a change for better, then u shld sae wonderful.

after 1 day of chronic sickness, 2day much better. but still not 100%. nbccb.

Allow me to sae sum stuff.

if u study the whole day, 24/7 no breaks, it doesn't mean u're the best person, u're confirmed the best result, u'll be seen as the most noble person. it juz means u hav studied the whole day. it will not lead to u being the best student. another student may hav studied less and did sth else, like read up on a studying method or a take a break and do some sport, and get a better result and doesn't brag at all.

on the same note, it doesn't mean that if u attend church, every single meeting, help out everywhere, u are a better christian. it juz meant that u hav attended church and participated in every event u are able to go. it doesn't mean u're better than another christian who doesn't attend some church activities. maybe he has a stronger personal relationship wif god, while u're only trying to show off well i went millions of mission trip thus i'm better christian. truth is, the other guy may be the better christian. cos he's humble.

maybe i shldn't be bad. but this is truth. putting in effort in sth doesn't mean u're the best guy out there. it is the mindset. the way u do things affect the most. it will affect ur result. and result is wad ppl see. so to refine ur result, it has to come from refining mindset.

conclusion. man shldn't give up, ceteris paribus.
man shld go ahead wif their plans, ceteris paribus.
man shld watch out for themselves and others, ceteris paribus.

well anyways, seems like a fellow high-flying 2-handed bowler makes a good choice by playing such a 20 foul line 15 arrows line on a house oiling. cool man. it did reap divedends for me.

sometimes i wonder, is there a solution to every problem, a pardon for every crime and wrongdoing, a cure for every disease?

and between now and then till i see you again... see = probably sth than just physically looking.

anyway, man usually are not pist for a long time. but for a reason, this time, i may be relatively pist for relatively long time.

was bowling juz now as usual every monday nights. but difference is that i met an old man. hu claims to b someone, ok fine i believe. but why do many ppl hav this apprehension towards 2 handers? seriously. maybe u're juz jealous, ppl hu cheat and cheat but they freakin get their strikes and jerk their scores up, wif high standard deviation.

hey wait. isn't that the point? when u do practical bowling and not some start from young bowling, u nid to freakin jerk ur score up by million times within half a year. 1 year is too long my fren.... juz chiong it. u may not become as consistent as someone hu bowled for 20 years. but hu cares? u can shock ppl wif ur standard deviation. if on that day, u bowl every game in a 4 or 6 game series above 200 playing 10000000 lines.... even the commonwealth man can't do anyting to u.

sorry ppl. but i dun buy the argument that 2 hands is useless and the unorthodox way to bowl. do u sae the spinner is unorthodox, although it may put extra wrist strain? watch out. i'll do my best and train harder like some idiot for that consistency u want to see. and again. watch out. not out of ur window.

on a fairer note, this person did give us advice and pointers. and apparently... it's rather the same stuff that our fat coach tells us.... haha. maybe i shld b practicing stuff more consciously rather than tinking i'm some hell pro. conclusion. it's time to practise.

let's juz leave the post there... pls comment if u find it unfavourable and it will b removed immediately.

ppl hate the truth, thus i can't post that previous post alr..... HAHA. but it's ok. if u wan the full version.... u can find me....

i made some claims regarding standings of men and women. but... it's very extreme. so i can't post it. but as much as society wants to eradicate sexism, i feel that it's hard. sexism is bad cos it undermines women potential. but it is not fully lousy. sometimes, women may not b best in certain places and men are better. sometimes vice versa. a certain amount of such elitism shld b present in different direction for different jobs and roles.

but i feel sad for this world. why do ppl make knee jerk reactions when they see an unfavourable blog post? that's why i can't post this previous post.

ppl shld go and understand why they hav posted such a unpalatable post. ppl shldn't sae, o u freakin racist, u freakin sexist, u freakin elitist, time to go on to the press so that u can make a public apology, so u shall suffer humiliation. and thus i shld go push for some sort of a online etiquette.

sorry. i disagree that u shld make this person who has typed unpalatable stuff suffer humiliation. it's WRONG. unless this person has a screwed mindset. like rmb that girl from somewhere? heh. if this person has typed it out of anger, out of some reaction, it's juz like u hit ur child when u're angry, u kick a dustbin cos u buay song, u punch ur fren cos u fail ur test. and they din make u suffer public humiliation. tell me, can a dustbin bring u to court?? why shld u do this to a person flaming someone else online, unless this person has tinking problems?

1st, i muz apologise to ppl hu will feel offended by me typing this post. i'm gonna raise sth controversial, pls dun read the following if u dowan to. but i muz sae, i'm neither sexist nor feminist. and this is a very big and hasty generalisation.

------------------------------------------------------

as i was toking to one of my relatives juz now, he raised certain interesting, but controversial points. u c, they sae when ? is in a relationship b4, it has lowered ?'s value. in a sense. like e.g. if ? sex b4, u will not want ? as ur wife/husband or sth. so after ? has been in relationship, it show that ? has let down ?'s defences once. so, ?'s "value" has decreased. this will lead to ? becoming promiscuous, at least many a time, not all cases.

this relative also said, if + turn successful at 25-30 years old, + bound to attract millions of ?. but at 17-20 yr, if + succesful, no ? will like +. too smart alr. everyone hates + cos the ? are still competing wif +. but my relative claims there will be a time when ? will realise they oso nid a + to depend on and a + to provide for them, and the clever + will have ability provide for ?s.

but i hav certain reservations on this. nowadays, ? seem to hav turned more independent. "i no nid +", they claim, even at 30 years old. many claim they do not nid +. sometimes i question this to a large extent. why suddenly do s'pore society seem to notice a surge in 27-35 year old ? going to dating agencies? including +. i reckon + oso surge to some extent, probably for a different reason.

anyway, i have excluded the point of that type of magical love. here is more towards pragmatic man-woman relationships. in true love, whether the man or woman is unfaithful or sex b4, they still can b in relationship.

---------------------------------------

maybe, a little more radical views here. the whole idea of gender equality is freakin difficult if u tink about it. a fat + can get a ? provided + show + is a capable. a fat ? has 0.000000001% chance of finding a +. a + can flirt wif millions of ?, then get a ? and settle down well in a loving relationship that lasts. a ? had a relationship, broke up, and then ? has low chance of finding another, so ? turns promiscuous. gender equality seems difficult. i hav to admit. as much as we are reaching a point where + and ? get some equality on many aspects, it is difficult to reach the point where everyting is homogenuous.

once upon a time, if u do read some evolution, u will find that ancestral humans has full sexism and totalitarianism. now we try to reverse such a sexism and totalitarianism... i duno whether it will come true. but as far as possible, sexism shld b reduced so that all man and women can do their best for the society, but i somehow feel all men and women shld not b too obsessed wif themselves and pls contribute to their countries' future generation. what is a country wif everyone working and with no next generation to carry on their prosperity?

conclusion. if u noe the song. what the world, needs now, is love sweet love. haiz. it's the only thing, there's juz too little of.

let's see. how is motivation derived? how did this desire for success, esp personal success, come about?

我班上的约拿丹不错嘛。

that's besides the point. if my mother is willing to sponsor me enuff, i tink maybe i shld try my luck and get some money. i shld really start to get some income for myself by pitting my ass against those doms who probably wld rape me if i beat them. qn is, what can they do? if they loser, well. let's go police.

i ask heaven. can dun bully me. but it's ok. getting bullied awhile by a power u cannot see wad shit it is, well. u hav to take it step by step. or of course, i can take the easy way out, by turning mentally unstable.

but why go all out to make ppl worried about u? that is an attracting attention sign. i duno. sometimes, u nid some attention. well. but u dun hav to seek for it so desperately. u can seek actively, now and then. it's fine. but u do all the time. not good for health. not only for urself, the other guy may turn mentally unstable and whack u instead.

----------------------------------------------

anyway. that was juz rather irrelevant to now. but seems like life's interesting. balls hitting like a truck, hitting precisely. which one is more impt? it seems after 2day, i will prefer a ball that hits like a truck. i conclude, the more ur ball whacks like a truck, the better ur life.

and was pist. that's why i decided to go home and bring the truck out for a drive. truck nids petrol. i mean oil. on the lane. they combine to form a lethal concoction. i tink i nid to learn how to truck on all lane conditions.

cool. shell v-power (98, UL) $1.959 and diesel $1.263 in SGD as of 10 july 2009. cool man. but so far i reckon, oil prices dropped to below US$60 per barrel. u tink it will become cheaper?

once upon a time, oil was dirt cheap. few cents few dollars drive one month. US$10 per barrel. now they buay song buay song, all prices rise up. wad does this teach u? dun offend the dua kia. tink about it. if u are under a boss. u infuriate him for a shit reason, esp very radical ones, u sae his religion sux, his head sux, his wherever sux. i mean. wad for? then he buay song u. he fire u. same ting. juz that in oil, probably life is easier when u wanna jack up the prices. and u hav a more imba weapon at hand since u can produce lots of oil. u dun sell, other ppl die, and we can drink oil as a dessert. i reckon s'pore oil refining and then exporting probably takes up an ok amount of our GDP. e.g. 1% or so i think. but that is enuff isn't it.

as i like to sae. GDP per capita isn't quality of life. it's juz money. is money so impt to u? do u need money so as to be a good person, a hot person, an attractive person? well. maybe nowadays the answer is yes. but the ting is, even if u hav money. it doesn't mean u hav everything. certain things cannot be bought. it seems the only other way to get other things, is not only u nid to earn. u nid to search. u nid to see. and sit down. i duno. maybe the pace in s'pore is rather fast. no one does some searching. even i feel i dun hav time for searching. u nid to see and listen as well. this may be easier, if ppl shuddup. lastly, is to sit down. sit down, most ppl dun even hav a time to rest man. in society like s'pore, if u hav the time to sit down and 随心所欲, i tink it's a luxury.

man. incoherent crap. let's stop.

sian. ai tio li xin kia kia. that was the start. xiu dao li xin tia tia. that probably is now. isn't it. apparently, according to ethics of writing stuff online, it seems i can't write more than this. HAHA. but wad can i sae?

every person who listen to song, probably 50% or more of these songs are referring to something about love. whether is it scream. or a slow song. high chance it's about love. and there is certain research on it.

i like to copy some portion of a song. it says. they say if u love somebody, u shld set them free. and then, if they dun come back, it's jtb. it's meant to be.


so as i sae, is everyting in our control? sometimes yes, sometimes no. let's hav a lame analogy. i play bowling, i noe how i want the ball to go, but if suddenly i slip on the last step and ball goes out of my hand. then how? well. ball goes haywire. u may tot, for all previous steps u've done the best, but now on last moment. off. then the result is wrong. heh. although u may hav thought, everything is in order, apparently it's not.


so we hav to be ready. when everyting is not in control, as usual, 2 choices. accept outcome, and try to find a remedy. or of course, we can try to force our way into control. depends on situation. it is very weird.


finding a remedy is obviously not easy, but so is forcing ur way into control. so as i like to sae, a balance is good. but if u're forced to take up extermist stands, maybe u shld consult around, consider all factors. i mean, obviously. why am i typing this? heh

once upon a time. yeah. once upon a time. but it doesn't mean the story will always end with and they lived happily ever after.

once upon a time there was a person a. persona a died. he didn't live happily ever after. decides to end wif he died. how much can we control ourselves? to the smart man, alot they'll say. i think, therefore i am. i rule my world, i control my life. to the stupid, they will look to dua bei gong and etc gods. that's on a very practical/insensitive level.

but the truth is it doesn't seem easy to take control of ur life all the time. but it's ok. u muz figure out here and there. but sometimes, stuff are not meant for u to figure out. wad can u do? den i oso duno. try harder to find a way out. or avoid.

they say, the day u stop dreaming is the day u stop living. maybe? if u dun hav an aim, where are u going? are there really ppl wif no aim? let's assume a person who wants to die. ahh. that's an aim isn't it? to die. how to die? that's a way to tink about.

dreams and thoughts keep stuff alive. haiz.

sometimes, the truth is not easy to accept. u hav 2 choices when met wif such a truth.

choice 1: accept it. this may be a viable option when u're desperate. and then find a solution and move on wif life. this is good isn't it. face it. i mean, at the end of the day u muz face it one wad.

choice 2: delude urself from the truth. well. good choice if u hav energy on a short term basis. u can bluff urself a while, get urself ready to take that news str8 on man. pls. but. not a good thing if u hav too much balls. cos if u hav balls and certain uprightness, u may not want to do this... u will feel it's against ur values and beliefs.

but. truth is a truth. so at the end of the day still hav to take it. as much as it is appalling. let's hav an e.g. gunpowder. the ang moh only in around 1300s found out gunpowder. chinaman like 800AD alr found out. but ang moh still hav to accept that chinaman invented 1st, as much as they want to tink they hav done it 1st. isn't it?

i've lost it. sian. seems like it's the difficult truth to accept.

羅時豐 代替VS大芭

good song. many a time bad things happen. many ppl live with hollows. and many a time, this hollow happen because there are misconceptions uncleared, lies told, cloudy relationships.

sometimes, it's jtb. but we must strive as far as possible, not to let the notion of jtb take over us all the time. we must strive to work against it, work for what we believe.

controversy. le bo ji? bo ji le hi si la. if u are not worried of stirring up controversy, it only goes to prove some things. a few possibilites:

if u not scared of controversy, that means u muz b speaking the truth, or else u muz be very confirmed in ur stand. that is called good. u are sure of wad u're toking, u hav evidence to back it up. as in back the controversy. this is good.

but there are some type of controversy which is useless. those that are used by attention seeking ppl are lousy controversies, not worth ur time. controversies like, o i tink i hate this guy. o i tink i love this guy from sch. purposely make it into controversy such that ppl will see.

but, when u create controversy, do u wan to hide it, or shld u show, esp it is those that are used speak the truth or u are sure of ur stand that type? interesting

once upon a time:

I am a Specialist of the National Cadet Corps
I serve with pride and dedication.

I excel in my specialist duties,
ensure the discipline of my Cadets
and will nurture them to their potential.

I overcome difficulties with my adventurous spirit.
I will uphold the prestige of the National Cadet Corps
to be the premiere uniformed group in Singapore

some people ask. should we wait for love to come? heh. i reckon, to a certain extent.

i was having a interesting tcs wif some old frens. so, there was a good point brought up. 姜太公钓鱼，愿者上钩. this has a meaning of a trap. but sorry folks, apparently, love is very much a trap. u're stuck means u're stuck. unless u decide not to be stuck together. and it may bring about many negative externalities if u decide to unstick.

waiting for the perfect person may not be the best choice if u figure around. yes, if kamu tyco, good for u. can get perfect person. but wad if ur perfect person tinks that u're juz another shit? aww. jtb eh. isn't it.

some ppl sae, acceptance is key. i agree very much wif this. as long as there's small attraction, and u are WILLING and ABLE to work on this small attraction, build up trust and blah blah. tings shld work out fine, unless there is a big moral, political, social, ethical, household issue that u and that person are together. hu sae, u muz marry a perfect person? look at ur parents. which are a perfect match? why are many of them staying together? because u and me, the child. is alive. and they live wif differences. and sort it out now and then. and they live. together. albeit not the most harmoniously sometimes.

if u are running out of breath and are resigned to nothing, den. juz shuddup. sit down. leave ur fishing rod there. when it shakes, pick it up, see whether ok. try around. taste the fish, see whether u are fine. not fine, den as i said, it may b difficult, but u still hav to bear the negative ext. after that, repeat. OR u can juz take that fish, eat and be unhappy till eternity. theoretically, u shld satisfy urself by not being unhappy. but if ur brain is quite spoilt like i believe many others are, juz sit and b unhappy eating that fish till eternity.

but the best cure is of course to be able to sit, wait, instead of fish come, angel come.

bowling seems to explain life the fullest. the ultimate form of wisdom is really not the discovery of something new, something novel, something imba. is about how u are able to use and moderate and control this knowledge, how u simplify and break down everything, and how u are willing to understand everything and then give a solution for all problems.

WHY ARE ALL INTERVIEWS/SCHOLARSHIPS CONDUCTED THEN? heh.

simple. the world is screwed. we believe: the most imba is the most complicated. the most imba is the smartest. the most imba is most talented. the most imba is most influential. u noe why? u're juz jealous. yjj. simple. yjj. yjj that other ppl better. u want to be there. qn is why? being the smartest means u are the best person? being the sexiest means u are the best spouse?

wad is our attitude? shld i ask, what shld our attitude be then? chiong be the smartest be on top, and contorl the world? or shld we do our small part for the world, for the society, for ur community, for ur family, for urself? hahahahha.

boys and girls out there, keep fulfilling ur social responsibility. it's good. every one nids to do that, else u're juz irresponsible. that's not good. do something small and something good 2day.

and then smile. cos u've done something good.

When you said you loved me once
I guess that was okay.
When you said you loved me twice
I thought that you would stay.
When you said you loved me thrice
My heart began to sway.
But when you said you loved me a fourth time
You turned your back and ran away.

i will try to tackle this above situation.

many a time, it's a 2 way thing. interactions muz b 2 ways nearly all the time. even u tink about it, dissolving of a certain compound in a certain solvent. if solvent and compound have dipole moments, they can form pd-pd. 2 way. but if it's like water and hexane. polar wif non-polar cannot. small wif big cannot. 2 ways.

1 side may want to accept the other side. but if the other side is not willing to surrender or accept back, then there is nothing. it's juz like if hexane want to dissolve in water, but water and hexane can't form that dipole interactions. jtb.

sadly speaking, a person may love someone. but if this someone is not willing to yield himself to the person who loves him, then it won't work out. or if this someone not willing to accept the person who loves him, then jtb too. most of all, they can stay frens. but from wad i noe, alot of times after a breakup most ppl can't even stay frens. i dun really c why, but i dun really care.

as i like to sae, sometimes it's really jtb.

some ppl claim, jtb is a lousy policy. cos this is too simplistic thinking alr. but as i like to sae, which do u wan? embrace the simple, or indulge in the complicated and get permanent head damage? complicatedness is good. it allows u to understand many things. complicated, profound and complex things are wisdom.

but do rmb, simplicity is also a form of wisdom, if not, an even more useful and difficult to master form of wisdom.

more importantly, moderation is a greater form of wisdom. it comes from the balance of the profound and simple.

i duno why. what went through my mind?

in uther party, there's a book called coping wif failure.

if u get it, in the nite, the treant will throw a rock at u. and u die. seems like i shld allow time for myself to read the book called coping wif failure. HAHA.

wad u doing, har??

wad u tinking? i juz wasted $10 or so on stuff that could hav been saved. i juz wasted cash and time bowling when much cash could hav been saved by using my brain. and not wasting time and chionging. jtb they sae. but it seems, there's a way to remedy this. u had a bad day

let's hope things are better next time.

why can't every single human be born the same way, reared the same way, wired the same way?

if this was so. wouldn't it be wonderful? so easy. we are juz pieces in a game. then someone just controls us and we dun feel anything. we juz go through the process.

or shld i sae who is the idiot(s) who decide to tell me to start thinking, to grow up, to see things from many perspective? if i never knew what is feeling, opinion, relativity and subjectivity, i will juz grow up knowing societal and political norms.

and i dun hav to worry about opinions. what i tink. what others tink.

and others will not hav to worry about the same thing.

jtb.

we come into this world, we are all the same. but have we been wired the same way? apparently i dun tink so. 据我所知，一般人只为一些肤浅表面的东西而活。例如财产，职权，名利。为何如此现实？我不明白。我更不想知道。但是我因此现象感得担忧，也为人类感得很可惜。

如果一个人想要觉悟，醒觉，睁开眼睛看看自己的周围，我们为何而生？at the end of the day. u may notice what keeps u going is love. ur love for people around u, things around you. other's love for you. what other hold dear. it is an immense power. without it, what can keep u going? money. sure. money can keep u going. sure. power can keep u going. but are u sure this is ur only drive in life? power can bring u anywhere. money can buy u anything. u can hav a great societal status. but is really societal status is what you want? or do u prefer the sacrifice for someone else because of love, rather than sacrificng ur ownself for something which in the end amount to vanity? u may get societal status. but after 10 years, do u tink u still worth the same?

let me give u an illustration. a soccer player. veron, if u do know him. skilful and talented. moved from argentina to sampdoria for 15 mil pounds, moved to lazio for 18 mil pounds, to man utd for 28.1 mil pounds. after that was a total decline of his valuation. and this only required 6 years. of course, he is still as skilled. but wad i'm trying to sae is that, valuation is like this. it disappears. it DISAPPEARS. even u tink if u want to stay on political arena like mm lee. tell me, has his valuation dropped? i can safely say yes. how many s'pore not happy wif him carrying on in political scene, although u hav to admit it is rather necessary? valuation of u drops. do u prefer to sacrifice urself for societal nonsense? or do u want the everlasting power and drive of love?

i'm not here to tell u to stop fulfilling ur societal commitments and responsibilities. but to remind u that at the end of the day, i feel that everyone shld not be living for the emptiness of tangible stuff. power. money. why? u need them, but u don't need all of it. u just nid a little of it. tell me, if u are daring enuff. live one life without others loving u. and without u loving others. and love nothing but money and power. after that, if u tell me that u have lead a meaningful life. i will applaud u.

a pity that it seems on the surface of society, everyone is doing this. why ppl refuse to go and treat each other wif sincerity, and u rather b quiet or play politics? what is the point? what is the point? if u treat ppl wif love, u may not get it back straightaway. but if u continue to be urself and from your heart treat others nicely, i don't see why there is anything to lose. u lose societal power and value. but is that of much worth, than forgoing ur loving self and seek glory and power for urself?


time to stop. too incoherent.

juz as i thought i attained nirvana, i'm wrong.

i'm wrong. i proved myself wrong. and by that, i proved myself that i am a sane human, and i am not conforming to the freakin societal definition of a jc kid. as a matter of fact. juz go shit it seriously. why is it so hard to conform to a nice kid? being normal is a good thing. u dun hav to worry why u seem wrong. u juz chiong wif the flow, u go wif it. ppl do, u do. ppl eat shit, u eat shit. juz in the hope of emptiness, which is wonderful when u are young. so why can't i pursue emptiness anymore? heh. it will go back to the start. once u stop pursuing emptiness, u can't start pursuing it again. juz like many many other things.



anw on a more positive note, i did pick up a 2-4-10, and left no 3-4-7-10. but it was yu's turn to leave 3-4-7-10. and i found that my pin slasher hits like a truck on csc lanes. a monster trcuk to b specific. i reckon it will do on other brunswick lanes too. fun fun.

hong ya zin sing ki,
ho ya zin sing ki,
ki wa na eh bo ji ki
ai ya siao si ki,
jing go lai tak ki,
xiu li xiu li m zai wu xia yi yi

...............

hong wa eh ho
gam gong si nan ling eh hi
m gua mian dui hian si mong tiong zui za ni.

most love songs will talk about not able to face the truth, lack of balls. i will sae that's normal. if u can go figure it out. hahhahahaha.

for the christian-tolerant ones, or christians:

What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilage to carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Ev'rything to God in prayer!

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged,
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Can we find a friend so faithful
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus Knows our every weakness,
Take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Saviour, still our refuge;
Take it to the Lord in prayer:
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer;
In His arms He'll take and shield thee;
Thou wilt find a solace there.


------------------

well if u do tolerate christianity tinking. i mean. this world is like this, we preferably shld develop our own tinking, our system, etc. which is good. but even wif all these our individual niches, and lousiness, we shld always rmb to tolerate other's lousy points. i always respect other ppl beliefs, and if they are not christian, i will always see their views on why they dun believe. and i read book about why ppl dun believe, although not many books yet la. haha. lazy sia. but if i had a chance i will like to probe into islam and buddhism/hinduism. cos they seem very relevant here. finding out other stuff will let me understand christianity more as well.

same applies in other points of life. why do some ppl prefer to meng mug? and some ppl prefer less mugging and more of understanding? that is a preference problem. but if u do bother figuring out why they prefer their own method, it will allow u to understand as well why u like to do it ur way. and if u do find that ur way is lousy, then u can be in place to make a change in ur thinking, and get a good tinking. a best way for urself. juz like bowling. i 2 handed, but i still take advice from ppl who play 1 hand, since some of the concepts are rather similar.

since when i start to type such philosophical nonsense again? HAHA. shen jing bing.

heh. 搞 fractionation. dat is a risky ting. juz watch out. there can only b a few consequences: total control, or total destruction.

and as far as i'm concerned, there can only be a ball that describe the case: twisted fury destruction.

it's bad to play at cdans.

u hit the target, u strike. u miss the target, there is margin of error, get dry part, strike. or tio the oil and skid, strike. u duno where is wrong and right. so u duno whether u pro or not. u duno whether u hav got the idea or not.

when u go to somewhere difficult, like chevrons, let's say juz somewhere where ur margin for error is juz a bit lesser. like safra yishun. suddenly u find a dip in score. are u ready for it? heh. i duno.

all i can sae now is train, train release, balance, settle a sparing system, everyting which is the basic 1st. den go fiddle around wif other tings to refine.

same disclaimer. u can take it literally. or u can try not to take it literally.

si liao. si liao.

it's not good to have a lousy wrist position, to not be able to send the ball out properly, to not give it a proper rotation, to not get a nice reaction, and most of all, to not be able to send the freaking ball out in the way u want.

let's juz blame it on a heavier ball.

u can either take this literally. or not literally.

they say, we are only given a pair of hands, a pair of ears blah blah. but only one heart. why? the other heart was given to someone else, and u supposed to find that.

but, rmb sth. if u break ur own heart, then no one would be able to find u. u will never be able to find the other heart, because when ur heart is picha, u cannot feel anything alr. therefore, u muz stay positive, then u can find ur other heart.

缺智的人，请安静。

浪费我的时间，浪费精力。给我小心。

tiring for me to complain. but i still shld.

wad is learning? is learning all in ur school notes? apparently, i believe, not. sorry to those ppl who can only absorb info which are approved by the moe, the school, etc. u muz understand learning and getting an interest in the stuff u do is not only about getting good marks. u tink u are a good student by getting the best result here and there? u are good only if u add the passion and depth criteria into ur that particular subject. that's all i can sae.

millions of ppl achieve 4 As in their a level. but do they hav a passion in any of these A subjects? to a great extent, most ppl study to get the A, not for the subject. which i feel is quite a disappointing thing. i rather u get less A and focus sth u like. this gives u more direction. true, As in ur A level gives u more cash next time, but is cash so impt? haha.

but at the end of the day, i can't discourage ppl from juz studying wad is required of them. so, it's ok kids. carry on wif ur life. be innocent. and stop being an idiot. and then life will be good. hahahah

cjb. wa eh jiu 差不多要被我敲坏了。

cjb. sorry. u are under a person who is possessive. when that happens, u watch out. i wonder, whether my left hand is fractured already? maybe i am like this. i like to makan everything. juz tink about it, when i get noodle, 加加面，where does it all end up? in my stomach. as a matter of fact. it juz vanishes. same thing. aiya. wadeva. 在这里讲东西，太危险。

为何危险？简单。因为这世界充满虚伪，愚笨，被控制的人。 fkin hell. u tell me, which person is not being controlled by another, until he/she realises the truth? many ppl delude themselves, and stick wif others. this is called insecurity, worry, lousiness. heh. as a matter of fact, if u can't survive on an island urself, assuming food is delivered and all basic needs fulfilled, and then u find that u rely on ur frens excessively to survive. u are not of much worth. this is to a great extent. those nub jb, u tink u are in control u dua jiak ar? come la. ai pia zui? i may lose. but it's ok. u noe why? i lost on the societal level, but i never lost on the conscience level. and on the thinking level. and on the depth level. u did win on the surface, but sorry, my missile was probably shot from the peru trench, while u only attacked the surface of micronesia. my nuke probably would rock ur fkin continent, u destroy only the top of a puny, poor island.

not so much time to waste on ppl i shldn't waste my time on. hahhahahahahhahaa. funny. sometimes i tink about it. it's quite funny to see ppl live superficially, and think that it's not superficial. interesting. the more interesting it is, i can predict a rise in my blood pressure. i nearly got a heart attack in the past few days, hours.

let me touch on a controversial issue hehe. it juz appeared in my mind for no reason.

u c, artists as in those ppl who draw some of them like to say, cheh, write story is not art. but are we so sure that literature isn't a form of art?

1st. how do u define art. i like to sae sth aesthetic is alr art. but wad is aesthetic ppl wld sae. i wld like to use wiki's definition, it's quite broad. quite along wif my line of definition of aestheitcs. Aesthetics (also spelled æsthetics) is commonly known as the study of sensory or sensori-emotional values, sometimes called judgments of sentiment and taste. More broadly, scholars in the field define aesthetics as "critical reflection on art, culture and nature." so u c, there are many forms of art - it can take picture, scribbling, doctor handwriting, music, even writing a poem and a story. thus i would consider literature is an art.

but i wld sae, literature is a more cheem form of art. u look at drawing, and playing a piano. it doesn't require u to know anyting do do these. to play the piano very pro, u dun have to be a diploma, lrsm, wadeva qualification. juz nid either talent, or lots of hardwork. u dun even need to know key signature, treble cleft, major minors to play good piece, although u may need those to communicate with other ppl who play piano. also, tink about drawing. it doesn't require u to be in aep to know how to draw isn't it? but do need to know texture, 3d, dimensions, background foreground etc. to be able to communicate in same lingo as other artists.

but for lit. it sort of different to me. cos to write great literature, u need to be of a certain proficiency of a language to be able to do it. and being able to express ur feeling in that language. that is the difficult part. i am able to express myself by playing piano. but somehow. i dun seem to be able to write very well either in english or chinese. some ppl sae i'm lazy. ya, maybe, if i spent more time talking coherently maybe i wld be better off. but there can be talent involved. all art forms require some talent, mugged talent isn't the best. so literature does seem to be a difficult art form eh?

interesting. i wonder hu comments.

i came, i loved. and i died. but i lived on.

wad keeps u going? some ppl duno. even i may not know. according to secular thoughts, most ppl duno why they are here. according to christianity, i am here cos some dua tao put me here for purposes. i may not understand the purpose, i may understand part of the purpose.

but at the end of the day, is life all about studying and ur job and ur cash? haha. some ppl may all juz chiong the art of succeeding. look at how many books are tuned to success. habits of effective learning, art of leadership, even men are from mars women are from venus, to even books of 易经 and 孙子兵法 tuned to how to succeed in the world. instead of their original uses which are philosophical strategies.

success. is it important to someone? i wld sae very much. succeeding is a good thing. but what is it that you want to succeed in? the most cash? haha. if u think u want the most cash.... well then u can go get the cash. it's not my business that you want the cash. but for me. well. maybe succeeding in sth else is everything.

again, thoughts getting too incoherent. dowan type alr.

it's high time i taken a swipe at some ppl, and some stupid practices in place.

they sae, the young muz treat the old, and the old muz treat the young. tink about it. wad is treat? when u treat someone, u shldn't expect someone to treat u back. u tink wad? 你请人吃饭，他就欠你人情？？骗鬼啊！？ fren, ok fine, if it's an initiative from a party to treat another person, that is fine. but this person who treat the other guy shldn't expect anything back. this is a wrong value.

dun lie seriously. and if u ever force ppl to treat u, that is in my eyes extortion. i hav not very high expectation of what i being treated. u can juz buy me sth small. i'm alr happy. and i'll rmb. but u shldn't sae, o cos i treat u, u supposed to treat me back. it's the wrong value. pls, get ur heads right.

but anyway, wad's done is done, currently now i'm treating some people out of my own will cos i tink they shld be treated. but for those whom i dun tink shld be treated, what is the point of me treating them when they force me to treat them???? erpz. wake up ur idea.

o ya i juz remembered to point out that our dear gah man likes thinkers and creative ppl, but they probably hate ppl who hav too imba viewpoints like yu and me. cos such ppl turn unproductive after to some extent of seeing through.

do u want to become a thinker? or do u rather prefer staying simple?

it seems staying simple will give you a better life. being a simplistic idiot is wonderful. tink about it. the world requires a head, a propaganda, a brainswash person to tell other ppl wad to do. juz see it. let's sae person A propaganda until damn imba, doing sth according to what he wants will give u a reward, and going against him will leave u being seen as s2pid or sth. so as a normal human, most will listen to A. and then get the rewards for being his dog. but those who actually find that person A is doing sth stupid, immoral or somehow not the best, will be seen by the majority of followers as non-conformists, or even defying, or even worse - outcasts.

in some societies, it seems like the way out is to be a dog. but very sorry. i can't be a dog. why? i hav been taught that self-actualization isn't everything. fulfilling ur own potential may be a good feeling. but there are many things that can be fulfilled before fulfilling ur own knowledge potential, ur intelligence potential, aesthetic etc. ppl may tell me, hey u have a great potential to be a dog, u will earn lots of cash, u will earn many things. do i need many things? sure i can chiong my potential now. but. there is a void.

doing sth academic may solve most ppl's void, or doing sth good for the community, or gaining a new knowledge or a new skill. but for me. i dun see it. the freakin point is that no one sees that i am having a problem. cos they tink i hav everything that the society deems desirable for a jc kid. lame crap. why everything conform? gg. i hav a problem. if u tink u hav a solution, why not find me. before anyting drastic happen.

heh.

我总是心太软。

it seems the only way to succeed in s'pore is to be a good boy.

read 2day's straits times review page, on pragmatism. and u'll see.

tink about it. when will ur new idea be accepted into society? only when it is deemed econmoically sustainable, can niao yalamsia or not, or any other prgamatic means like helping students out of depression so that they can study better.

well. life is quite hectic now considering this that this that.

but for the time being, let's hope for a miracle

i behave like a freaking old idiot. shit. hu can restore my youth? 1st. i drink kopi-o gao. hu drinks that u tell me? which 17 year old? 2nd. i like hokkien songs, ancient chinese songs. isn't this a 1960s thing? and i freaking like stuff like abba. stand by me. that sort. 3rd. i talk about things that little students would talk about. they may consider it. but they keep to themselves for fear of showing that they are old. but i freaking can't keep such thoughts to myself. i discuss them. and ppl will see me as an idiot.

hu's fault? society? or me? idiotic. i wonder wad our dear system is doing. producing obedient ppl, or thinking and discerning ones? HEH.