the most smug thing a person can do is to reject someone else's love. sure you may not be required to reciprocate some queer or hostile packaged love. but when it is genuine and you reject it, you just became the deepest hater.
and sure, you speak of grace, but u are not even interested in treating others with the same grace. is that God's grace to you, one that looks down upon people of a different creed in the non-essentials? or have you labelled them as lower than pariahs, lower than unbelievers?
when the Lord talked about anathema and the accursed through Paul, it is people who are actively out to undermine the power of Jesus' death on the cross via carrying out certain external acts of the Mosaic law. never did Paul suggest that anathema are people who have not had the same revelation of the Spirit as you, and are just holding fast to what they have learnt thus far (Phil 3:15).
your patience has run out, so you can do righteous anger? wow. the Lord is true righteousness, and truly more patient (2 Pet 3). receive more righteousness from the Lord there and learn to love.
labelling game ain't got no use in achieving the will of God and is definitely not an act of the righteous man. (well, it's a self-righteous man then)